BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Miscarriage feel like there is a hole where my heart should be

My husband and I have been trying to concieve with pcos problems for over five years. And in october of this year we found out we were pregnant. I had never felt this feeling of being overjoyed in my life. Then in my 8th week I started bleeding. doctors said there was nothing they could do but let it pass naturally. So 3 weeks later I finished bleeding and I still feel so empty. And my husband is taking it really hard. And to add insult to injury my 19 year old sister-in-law got pregnant after a night of partying. and she's always rubbing her belly around me and telling us that she's heard the heartbeat and showing us the ultrsound picture. I hope she's not doing it on pirpose, but she hardly never talked to me before and now she calls or txts me everyday. Its almost like she's rubbing it in my face. I know I should be happy for her but i can't help but feeling mad, angry, sad, jealous all at the same time. Does that make me a bad person. I'm trying to hard to halfway move on from my miscarriage but its so hard. I don't know what to do with myself.

I feel for your pain - what a sad thing to happen to you and your hubbie. My sister lost her baby this year and it has been hard on all of us.

While your sister should be happy and thrilled - and you should also be FOR her - what she is doing sounds somewhat insensitive. I think an honest talk is in order.

In the meantime, I am sending you all the hugs in the world for your loss. I hope things work out for you.

I just miscarried on the 25th...i lost my baby at fourteen weeks, and i found out that my best friend was due on the same date as i was. Of course, i was thrilled...but after i miscarried it was like every sonogram pic. she sent was a slap to the face...everytime she mentioned her beautiful baby it was her way of saying "look at what you can't have" it started to get to the point that i hated thinking of women that would have their babies...because i wouldn't...but it passed and it will pass for you too...it may sound and feel like she is doing it on purpouse but keep in mind that your grieving. i'm sorry for your loss...i know how you feel and i wish that you and i and every other woman that has suffered a pregnancy loss had never gone through this...and prob.nothing will ever make it any better for you,for now...but just know, that i will pray for you..

Bawat, I am so sorry to hear about this. I do not understand the pain of losing your baby after having tried for so long, but i understand the feeling of loss. I miscarried in the middle of September. It was horrible and i felt all alone and that my friends and family could not understand any of it. For me its hard because my Mothers best friends daughter in law became pregnant at the same time as me and my fiance. She hates being pregnant and anytime i call she tells me how she wishes she wasn't. I don't know how many times i got off the phone to cry for an hour. The thing is that other people do not understand that small things like being over excited about their own pregnancy and tell you about it right now hurts more than anything else in the world. That whole in your heart, and your hubbies, will not truly go away but the pain its causing right now will subside a little at a time. When your ob gives you the okay to try again, go for it! If you could do this once, you can do it again. And don't feel like a bad person, from my understanding not feeling happy for her will fade with some time also, but her actions should be addressed. Talk to your sister in law and explain the pain it can cause you when she talk about her pregnancy, but explain that you are happy for her and your brother. sorry this is so long, God bless and many hugs.

HI. I'm glad to know im not alone. I lost my baby at 9 weeks and through blood tests found out I was Protein S deficient. That means my blood when I get pregnant clots too much and cuts off supply to the baby. I think before you try again, get tested for all those things. This was my 3rd miscarriage, 2nd DNC and 1st diagnosis. We have to take charge of finding the cause for if you don't you'll have more grief to come.