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Joined: Jan 2010
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selene Offline OP
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Hi everyone, Im having some problems with my husband and I want to know if anybody is going through the same and how can I resolve them. We've been together 8 years and have 1 toddler. We were having sex once a week before the pregnancy and once every ten days after, now, after 1 and a half years we have it twice a month. I don't feel like I want to have sex much and I think he doesn't either. When we have it, is totally disappointing for me. He doesn't want to talk during sex which feels like laying in bed with someone asleep, he kisses always playing with the tongue which makes all wet around my mouth, he touches me a bit here and there and then he goes straight for the clitoris although his fingers never land on the right place. I can't complain during sex because he says that I, again getting stressed instead of enjoying (what exactly), he gave me oral sex maybe 5 times in 8 years (although I like it a lot and he knows), he doesn't want to tell me any fantasy (he says he hasn't got any). I tried to get him to play roles but he laughs and I can't get into the role if he doesn't take it seriously. He doesn't like sexy lingerie, porn, filming, taking pictures.. (am I the guy in this relationship and he is the girl or what?). He never tries anything new. He cum quite fast and his idea of vaginal sex is going in and out a lot of times. He's never been great in bed (I think he hasn't got a lot of experience before me and he is a bit shy for sex) but this is getting really boring and just to think that I married "forever" and that this will be my sex life until the end of my days..........help!! I'm a bit difficult myself cause I need a lot of inspiration to warm up and haven't got a vaginal orgasm yet but under these conditions it is difficult. What can I do to get him to do more of what I like and to increase the amount of sex? I tried many times to talk to him but he is a guy, they don't like to talk about things. I don't want him to get annoyed or end up getting tired of me, I just want more fun sex. Any suggestions?

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Joined: Sep 2008
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Amoeba
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Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 95
Try watching movies and using toys by yourself, but don't try to hide it. Maybe if he sees that you are so much in need that you'll take care of yourself, he'll revaluate the situation. I also think some therapy would be a good thing, though it's a difficult thing to get people to agree to. If he could only see that sex, like a marriage, is a two-way street and that both participants are supposed to be making joint decisions about the direction it takes and both should be equally happy. He shouldn't be the driving force, deciding exactly how every step should go. If one person is unhappy or dissatisfied, then the other person is responsible to try and make things better.


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