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#571544 12/19/09 01:59 AM
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I have been married for 2 months. I waited for sex until I was married. My husband has had several previous partners. Before I was married, I was SOOO excited about sex. I was probably more interested than he was. I had no trouble...enjoying myself by myself (sorry if too much info). Since we got married, sex has been a huge disappointment. The wedding night hurt, as did the honeymoon. It hasn't significantly hurt in over a month, but I have no interest in sex. I try to initiate because I feel like I should. Husband tries to be supportive and patient, but even when I orgasm, it doesn't feel anywhere near as good. We are both so frustrated that we end up arguing about it a lot. I have a mirena IUD which has "decreased libido" as a side effect. I have depression, but have had this for about 2 years, and it has never caused a problem in this way. I started wellbutrin fairly recently, but my doctor says this wouldn't cause this, and that this medicine is actually used to help people who aren't interested in sex. My husband wants me to switch to a different method of birth control, but we don't have many other options. My doctor says I can't take anything with estrogen in it (most birth control), depo has most of the same side effects but worse, and condoms are out since my husband apparently has broken a LOT of them and we are at a point where getting pregnant would be awful (my husband doesn't feel as strongly about this as I do). I am so frustrated- I would be perfectly happy being married with no sex, but my husband is never going to go for that, and I really want to have a great marriage with him.

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Don't want to stick in my two cents before you hear from other more qualified women, but since no one has chimed in as yet, I'll share with you my insights:

Your method of birth control, and its libido-inhibiting effects, should be switched, if possible. Your body already has to deal with depression and all of its complications so the IUD will only diminish the libido further.

Wellbutrin should not cause a decrease in libido as much as other antidepressants, but it also isn't as effective as an antidepressant which could mean that the depression itself is not suppressed enough for you to want sex.

Press your doctor for other birth control and depression management options as far as medication is concerned! Also, do remember some of the best natural therapies which include lots of physical exercise, fresh air, nature, meditation, eating well, plenty of rest and water, maintaining a close and loving relationship with your spouse, etc.

Two months is too soon to give up on a great sexual relationship in your marriage!

Oh, and another thing. Because you're inexperienced sexually, you have to remember that a clitoral orgasm is very different from a vaginal orgasm or a G-spot orgasm! If you're used to "pleasuring yourself" you might be dismayed to find that real sex with a partner will take more time and effort to get to the O. But that should be part of the fun, right? wink






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I second the advice to look into the libido inhibiting affects of depression. I also have suffered depression and anxiety episodes since a young age and only when I learned to manage these did I realise i even had a libido! Also, on the clitoral orgams vs the vaginal: You can actually team the two together and produce a wonderful orgasm, it just takes a little practice. Condoms and your hubby: really the only way condoms are prone to breaking is if there is not enough lubrication used or he is large, if it is the latter then it would not be surprising it hurt you the first time. its is awesome that he is patient as sexual exploration together, though fun, can sometimes need alot of that.


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