BellaOnline Forums Family Moms My daughter is freaking over second baby

My daughter has a very active two- year old. She is due with her second child in mid December. She is a great mom, though she has become quite impatient the last month. She is really freaking over this second child. Her marriage had ended shortly after conception. She was pretty upset and didn't even realize she was pregnant. She has had rough pregnancies with a lot of cramping and bleeding. She is dehydrated from morning, afternoon and night sickness. She was also just diagnosed with a thyroid problem and put on a medication. Could this be part of the problem? I find myself with my granddaughter more and more- which is ok with me but I am concerned about my daughter.

She has just been hit with one stressor after another!

Any one of those things by itself would be enough to cause any woman to be freaking out about this pregnancy.

She needs a break, a serious break. Even just a day or better a weekend where she coould be pampered and taken care of without worrying for just a while. That is extraordinarily trivial - but she needs something for herself right now.

Lets list stressors:
1. She has a 2 yr old (2 yr olds are precious but stressful)
2. She is pregnant
3. The pregnancy wasn't planned
4. She has horrible morning sickness which leaves her dehydrated (and morning sickness this late is unusual)
5. Her husband has left her
6. She is cramping and bleeding (and possibly feeling guilty)
7. She has a thyroid problem and is on new meds
8. she is leaving her child w/ you (and probably feeling guilty)

That is 8 major stressors right there - and you didn't mention where she was living or whether she is working.

She needs someplace or someone to decompress to - a counselor, a good friend, possibly you if you think you are capable of being a unbiased ear. It is hard for us mothers to listen to problems without jumping in with tons of solutions. But what she probably most needs right now is just someone to listen and comfort without a lot of suggestions or advice.

I'm not knocking you, please don't think that - it is just when we are so close to the situation, sometimes it is hard for us to be the "soft support" they need at the time. Especially when you are concerned for your grandchild as well.

Michelle, as usual, has great advice and thoughts!

This is one the small side, but maybe as it gets closer to time, you and your granddaughter can make some "Big Sister" t-shirts. With all of the stresses going on in your daughter's life, it might bring some smiles to see how excited her two year old is about being a big sister (even if she doesn't "get" it yet).

Then again, if the two year old does get it and is not happy about being a big sister, scratch that idea, lol!

How has your daughter been adjusting to her medications? How is she feeling?

She seems to be doing somewhat better. What helps with our situation is that she lives "somewhat" with us. We bought an 1885 huge old house that had been made into a duplex quite a number of years ago. When we remodeled we cut through the walls both upstairs and downstairs so that we would have access in an emergency, but, privacy too.

My daughter has an awful problem with extreme over anxiety. She is also AD/LD and has an awful time organizing herself or her life. I try to help but not interfere either. Her hormone levels are finally stabilizing. She has reached her 28 week. Tori had to be taken three weeks early she wasn't doing well at all. So, I know this is a big worry to my daughter as it is with all of us.

I do try to give her quiet time without her two-year old but with my physical limitations - long amounts of time just don't work. I worry because I will have Tori while my daughter is in the hospital and after the C section. I appreciate having your help. It really feels like I have someone to learn on. Something I really don't have here at all. Thank you!