logo
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1
C
Newbie
OP Offline
Newbie
C
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1
I know it's different for everyone, obviously, but I need help. I lost my baby at 12 weeks in April 2008. Sometimes, like November (when the baby was due) and Mother's Day I spend the week feeling awful. But sometimes nothing in particular will set me off on a whole day of crying. It's been such a long time now, and I don't know what to do to get some closure or some sense of having dealt with the whole thing. I can't really talk to my family, they weren't very supportive and they all just say, "I guess it wasn't meant to be". And my fiance gets equally upset about it, so I end up having to comfort him. I will never ever forget my little jellybean, and I have no desire to completely put it out of my mind. I just need to know how I can deal with this in such a way that I don't end up in the throes of an all out emotional breakdown. Any advice at all would be greatly appreciated.

Sponsored Post Advertisement
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Feb 2003
Posts: 14,392
I know in my family, having lost my cute little nephew before he had a chance to live, that the heartache never really goes away. I would suggest -strongly- that you find a grief group and join it. You sound like you need more help than that granted by time alone, and some loving people who understand the same feelings might be the best way to get past the acute pain and move into the pain of acceptance.

You have my best wishes and some warm hugs. :-) Hang in there.

Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1
G
Newbie
Offline
Newbie
G
Joined: Sep 2009
Posts: 1
You're right, it is different for everyone. This last March I went into an early labor at 20.6 weeks into my pregnancy. My baby boy was born and had a heartbeat but wasn't viable and only lived a few short seconds. I had to pay to have a funeral, and was sent a death certificate before I received a birth certificate. By far, this was the hardest thing that had ever happend to me in my life, and something not many can try to understand. The memories that I have of him are not many but I treasure them. (Most being pregnant with him) My Dr. perscribed me some anti-depressents but I stopped taking them last month, because I feel it is healthier to feel true emotions. I just got past the day he was supposed to be born, and that was very hard. If you can find a support group that you can talk to about this I am sure that it will help you. (you can get information from your local hospital). I joined a developing community church, that has lots of support and friendships. It is okay to think about your baby,(I do everyday) or even talk about him/her. Have you thought about becoming pregnant again? That's okay too, and nothing to feel bad about. (We told him that we will try again to have him, and that he has to find his way back to us, even if he's a girl). I also wear an angel necklace around my neck so that I know he is always with me. Light a candle on his birthday, keep a journal, take time for yourself, get a pedicure, or visit a place that just make you feel good. Remember that it is okay to cry. "She was not blessed with the joys of raising this child, provided a totally loving and selfless environment for this soul to finish its work and achieve its eternal peace. In this vein, the definition of "life" is expanded. Providing the eternal peace and serenity to a soul whose life's objective has thus been completed can certainly, from a spiritual prospective, be seen as a conferral of "life" of the highest order." I hope some of this can ease your heartache.


Moderated by  Christine - Miscarriage 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Brand New Posts
Make It Sew Easier
by Cheryl - Sewing Editor - 03/27/24 04:34 PM
2024 - on this day in the past ...
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/27/24 01:31 PM
Planner Template Kit - Weekly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:39 PM
Planner Template Kit - Yearly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:37 PM
How to Use Digital Planner Template Kit
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:36 PM
Review - 20 Illustrator Color tips Helen Bradley
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:32 PM
March Equinox to June Solstice
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/26/24 12:27 PM
Hobotrader unleashes never seen opportunity with i
by Jamal molla - 03/26/24 11:55 AM
Psalm for the day
by Angie - 03/25/24 09:05 AM
Genealogy, Sort of
by Angie - 03/24/24 05:39 PM
Sponsor
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Privacy
This forum uses cookies to ensure smooth navigation from page to page of a thread. If you choose to register and provide your email, that email is solely used to get your password to you and updates on any topics you choose to watch. Nothing else. Ask with any questions!


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2022 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5