BellaOnline Forums Relationships Marriage Newly Weds (Friends Don't Understand)

I know that my husband and I got married young. I know that we're 20 yrs old. But why the F do I have to keep effin defending my marriage to these effin ppl! "Divorce rates are really high," "Young and married never last" Why the negativity?? Why the comparison? WHY dont they just let us be?? Why do his friends keep questioning me? What should I say? I'm like running out of $h!T to say...I just want to tell them something so they all STFU... sry about the language...I'm just venting & I'm angry...(not too much cuz i dont like to be angry) but its still annoying!! I work at a Salon and even older women..well some not all..have something negative to say.. "people change..." "You don't mature till your late 20's" WHAT GIVES THEM THE RIGHT TO GIVE ME THEIR OPINION? DID I ASK? WHO THE F DO THEY THINK THEY ARE? TRY WALKING A MILE IN MY HEELS B! SRY AGAIN FOR THE BAD LETTERS lol give me a break...

Wow - I just saw in another thread that you have folks asking you when you are going to have a baby.

So you have one group of people encouraging you to get pregnant right away, and another grup telling you your marriage is going to fail?

Personally, I'd be looking for some new friends.

Yes, you did get married young, but I know of 2 couples (dear friends of mone from high school) who just celebrated their 14th and 19th wedding anniversaries! 1 couple got married right out of high school (no, not pregnant - they had just been sweethearts all through high school and saw no reason to wait) the other couple waited until she finished her college degree and got married 1 week after her graduation.

You might {gently} point out to people that statistics are just that, statistics. And unless someone comes up wth somthing that says 100% - you and your husband have just as much of a chance as any other marriage. More so if people stop pointing out all the negatives and start being behind you guys!

I got married young too! right out of high school. on the day of my wedding a bridesmaid and I had to run to the store real quick and the cashier asked how come our hair was so fancy, when I told her I was getting married she said "dont do it" uh, excuse me? some people are just negative nancys. I also read your post about pressure for kids. my advice - tell people to mind their own business. you and your hubby live the life you want to live. if these friends think your marriage will fail ask them why they bothered to attend your wedding. I have found it helpful to have a few phrases ready when these dummies feel the urge to chime in. I have said things like "if I wanted your opinion I would have asked" and "I dont see how this matter concerns you at all" if some one said that to me today I would probably come back with something like "why did you feel like that was appropiate to say?" then shake my head. I used to worry about being so polite when people butt in and it has gotten me nowhere. sometimes, with some people you have to draw a clear line for them.

I hear you. I understand where you're coming from. I agree that people are often negative.

You could throw them off their game by just telling them that they make a good point and you'll think about it. What else can they say after that?

Even though you're playing a little psychological game with them, at least they'll probably back off.

Good luck with everything.

:) thanks ladies

First of all ~~ I would not talk about my personal life at work. If your clients want to discuss personal things in their life - fine, but I would draw the line when it came to my personal life.

There's too many people in this world that want to run/rule other peoples' lives. I guess they don't have much of a life.

cp

You don't have to justify yourself to anyone. Just let him know, you love each other, you both will try hard to make your marriage work, and if it does, it does and if it doesn't, then it doesn't. It's that simple. Besides, they're not the ones who are going to be married or divorce to you, so what do they care?

Sometimes people do everything right and their marriage still fall apart. Why? Who knows? Every marriage is different.

I personally don't have a problem with people marrying young. What bothers me are people who don't take it seriously or marry a jerk knowing that it won't work out. That kind of mentality is just plain annoying. Because I'm usually the one who gets stuck listening to them whine after knowing they shouldn't have gotten married in the first place.

Many blessings to you, your hubby and your marriage.

No one can predict that your marriage will fail just because you are young! I married at 18 years of age (turned 19 10 days after my wedding) and I'm still married 15 years (and 4 kids) later!

I think the suggestions the other forum members have given for how to deal with these naysayers is great. And good luck!

Well i didn't go into detail about my life...they just see my ring, and the words "Omg! ur so young!" just falls out like vomit. Some ppl have nice things to say..and some don't. And to those..ppl i'd like to give them my favorite finger... :) but that wouldnt be nice.. I even got asked if i was expecting? AS IF! Im not fat..LOL (this was from my cousin that lives in Peru and hasnt seen me in years) Is it that hard to believe that love exists? Are they all so tainted that they wouldnt see even if it hit them in the face? I pity those who are so square or narrow...because he gives me the best feeling no drug or roller coaster can compare to - We're in an awesome place, with a great state of mind..and ever since i read all this feed back..i stop giving a [censored] about other ppl and their stoopid negative/ unwanted opinions :) Thanks Ciao and bless you all for your kind words

[quote=Sadiyya]No one can predict that your marriage will fail just because you are young! I married at 18 years of age (turned 19 10 days after my wedding) and I'm still married 15 years (and 4 kids) later! I think the suggestions the other forum members have given for how to deal with these naysayers is great. And good luck![/quote] Thats awesome! ---> Good for you!