BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Journals Journaling Through Pain

Living with chronic pain is a lonely thing. It's not something one can talk about except to their most trusted friends, but even the most trusted of friends will get sick and tired of hearing about it all the time. The average person simply doesn't understand what it's like (of course, I'm glad they don't because if they did it would mean they were in this kind of pain, too)! They don't understand how it can have an insidious effect on doggone near everything in one's life- everything from career to self-esteem to family issues. When folks at work give me the usual, "How are ya?" I'm not about to tell them the truth. They would avoid me like a bad smell if I did. So I smile and say, "Oh, not too bad (I can't bring myself to totally lie and say 'fine')," and then I hastily ask about them. Sometimes I feel like I'm playing a part. The only place where I can let it out is my journal. My journal can't complain. My journal understands, because it's my alter ego. I can rant about how angry and depressed it makes me that I had to quit my career of 20+ years because I cannot physically do the work any more, and now, because I am not educated for anything else, I can't get anything but a minimum wage job where at least I can sit at a desk, and how guilty I feel because our finances stink on account of that income nosedive. I can feel sorry for myself when I need to, and I can whine and complain when I just plain hurt and NEED to whine and complain! I think my journal has truly helped me to hang on to my (admittedly miniscule) sanity.

Good for you to find the way to talk about your pain. Living with chronic pain definitely is not easy - and you are right that no one really understands unless they are living with it themselves.

Journaling through pain or even temporary crisis/problems is one of the best ways I know of to get out all the thoughts and feelings about what is going on in our minds and bodies.

Blessings to you.

Thank you, Phyllis! If I had to hold it in all the time I would probably implode! I'm afraid being in pain can make a person rather self-centered, and a journal or diary is the ultimate refuge for when one needs to be just that: self-centered. Focusing on myself and looking inward for a little while kind of clears my mind and enables me to do a better job of looking outward and focusing on other people!

One thing I like to do when I am in pain (physical or emotional) is to write. I do not just sit down and write - I prepare a place of peace for myself. I clean off everything on my desk to make it just a place for this purpose, nothing to distract me. I then smudge the area by burning desert sage, this purifies the area and my mind. I put either a scented candle or potpourri in one corner and sit there in silence, inhaling the healing scent of lavendar or herbs. This is aromatherapy. When my mind finds that place of silence, I then begin writing and sometimes I do not even realize what I am writing until I am finished and read it. This always brings me peace and calm - it gently takes me away from the pain or emotional distress.

To smudge an area for the purpose of purification:
Do not use culinary sage.
Use sage that grows wild in the desert and plains.
If you do not know what the right type of sage you need is, consult an herbal store or go online and order smudging sage from a Native American trading post, like Prairie Edge Sioux Trading Company.
Burn only dried sage.
Place a small amount in an abalone shell or pottery bowl.
Light the sage and let the fire go out.
Fan the smoke in all directions with your hand, gently.
Say a prayer for peace and healing as the smoke covers your area, make sure you have a window open in the room for ventilation..
Light your candle or open your potpourri container.
Sit and meditate on peace and calm, imagine the calmness flowing over you like a gentle spring rain.

This is just a suggestion, if it does not work for you, you will find your own way.

Your answers are all so true, journals are/can be a journey into yourself, and sometimes things said are often said w/no expression and are emotion. My journaling lead me to release emotions and let go of emotional and physical pain-

It has helped me so well I reccommend everyone to do it!

Mary Caliendo
Tea Editor

Phyllis, that sounds utterly lovely. I am going to try it.

I recommend it too, Mary... quite often! A cynical friend of mine- even more cynical than I, imagine that- expressed a lot of doubt that something so simple as journal-writing can be of any help with pain, be it physical, spiritual, or emotional. My response was that maybe one has to be a bit more fluid in their definition of *help*. Am I talking actual pain relief as in hey, whoopee, no more pain, dancing in the streets, tra-la, tra-la? Not just no, but you-know-what no! I'm talking about the ability to deal with it, to possibly even in some way make use of it. Maybe to help someone else with their own pain. To attempt to keep it from defining you by its terms. To take back your own control, your own sense of who you are and what you are. To not let the pain win. That probably doesn't make any sense, but oh, well...

I think in a way the House show has brought the issue of chronic pain to the attention of many people. Not many characters in TV or movies are living with that kind of constant pain.

Is there no way through medication that the pain can be mediated somehow?

Think about our folks on here with Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. No, they live with this pain all the time.

The pain meds that do work on the pain are addictive and the body eventually becomes "immune" to them - or adjusted is a better word.

I know my migraines have lasted for months at a time and they are not anywhere near what people with Fibromyalgia suffer. Even my migraine meds only dull the pain at times - I have to wait for the episode to finish. I at least have the comfort of knowing mine will finish. Someone who has had nerve damage or certain types of brain damage does not know when or even if there will be an end to the pain.

That is why these diseases cause depression and suicide in so many people. Can you imagine never going a day without pain?

I suppose again this is something that the House show really has me thinking about. I can't imagine what it must be like to live with that kind of constant, never-going-to-go-away pain.

I never thought of CFS as being painful - I thought of it as being always worn down. Is there a pain element to that too?

It is amazing to me with as much as medical science knows about our bodies that they can't just go in and do something to the pain area of the brain. If I knew that I had a condition (take the House example again) that was going to have me in agony for the rest of my life, I would rather just turn off that part of my brain.

Dear All! Journaling is a GREAT way of expressing feelings that no one else understands or care to hear. You are right about others hearing the same thing day in and day out. But it is still not good to keep it inside of your heart. Venting on paper with the most precious page you own is priceless

I suffered severe pain from MS at a young age. I was facing death which is very rare with MS. I wrote everyday in a journal for I was in an abusive relationship an had no family near me at the time to help me.

I think by writing no one could judge me if I was not putting on a smile. I hid my journals so no one could find them. It was my release of the hurt, pain and being scared. I would also pray in them and sure enough as I looked back on what I wrote my problems were being answered. It also helps me see myself more clearer. I had trouble crying so this helped.

Now I've been through a bone marrow stem cell transplant and 3 years free of MS. Could of never imagined that. My body did not respond to shots or anything on the market so this was my only hope. I tried chemo to slow it down. I also fought for disability through my politicians and fought for MS awareness. Writing was one of the ways I fought my disease also.

It helps clear your soul and keep it up!

Tre'

All such wonderful posts about journaling, I don't like to complain to people (I suffer from chronic pain) because if I am having a really awful day and say something you get this look sometimes like "well you don't look sick" well you should see me without my makeup and with out my meds in me. My journal doesn't give me those looks , I can write anything I like and like someone else stated I can even write it and rip it up but it helps so much. Blessings to all of you. Linda

12181972- Sorry to hear about you DX of MS and Sarahredhawk5-I juornal and it does not take pain away but it is a mechanism to help us pain sufferers to cope. Journaling for me is as mentioned a venting, but it is also a tool to use for endearing thoughts for others who sometimes we don't treat as well as we should due to our "hurt", sometimes I can go back and look at the things I've said and be glad I have written those words- it is a larger expanded diary of sorts-I'm glad to share a journal where I otherwise would not share a diary.

Mary Caliendo

Sarah - it is definitely great that you have the journal to turn through and to let those feelings out! It's a shame that there isn't human support around you to help you with those feelings though. I know it's rough to feel like you're complaining all the time to your friends, but maybe there's a support group around who can help you get through the rough days? It really sounds like having people listen would be important!

I have Fibromyalgia (hence my handle on here) and many's the time I've been convinced that NO ONE understands.... that is one of my frequent journal rants!

Hello all This is my first post - I just joined a few minutes ago. I have FMS and osteoarthritis, and have struggled with recurrent clinical depression for a great many years. I am old enough that I have become familiar with a great many categories of pain: physical, mental, psychological, spiritual, etc., etc.(are there any other categories of pain?). There are many approaches to pain management besides medication, and as mentioned above somewhere, medication definitely has its limitations, and I have often had to look for alternative approaches. Some work better than others, and some are easier to implement than others, depending on the situation. I have tried journalling. It is excellent. For me, the catch is that I am very good at "stuffing" my feelings, which isn't good, and when I journal, my "stuffed" feelings all rise back into my awareness and scare the Dickens out of me. And then I am faced with how to deal with the pain &/or terror. And then I HAVE to find someone to listen to me while I talk it out, which isn't always all that easy to find, although I can usually manage to tough it out on my own. But I often let that scare me away from trying the journalling in the first place...I suppose a little more courage is what is called for - "Mommy, I'm scared." "Oh Brother, give me a break from the whining, already." The last two lines above are an example of me stuffing my feelings, sort of. This posting is kind of like journalling in a safe manner - none of you know me personally, and I may get feedback, which makes it a lot less scary to do. I have a very good approach which works for me with many kinds of pain(I have other approaches which can work, but I'll stick with this one for now): I keep various kinds of freshwater tropical fish. I try to use as natural an approach as reasonably possible: fish, live plants, snails, etc. In any one tank I attempt to keep only organisms that are compatible with each other - decrease the opportunities for large scale slaughter of each other! When the fish are reasonably content with the provided conditions, they tend to spawn. It is fascinating to watch all the varied activities that are going on. Have you ever observed the behaviours of snails through a strong magnifying glass, or watched livebearing fish giving birth to their babies, for example?(different strokes...whatever turns your crank...etc.) So, when things are challenging I will feed the fishes and then sit down and watch them intently, and soon my situation will feel greatly improved, and my peace will have increased. It is sort of like meditating. Also, I feel very much in the presence of God and am almost overwhelmed with the glories of His creation. having written all of that, and described one of my favourite activities, I have a greatly increased sense of joy and peace. Now that is why it would be good for me to journal more. Thank you for reading thus far - I really appreciate it. Ought I to have posted this somewhere else than here? Margaret (the fishgranny)

Hi Margaret! I'm glad you're here!

I guess the biggest thing- among so many things- that I hate about being in pain is how it insidiously alters my own sense of who I am. I hate it and I want *me* back!

I love your ideation about the fish... is it kind of like stepping out of the painful world and easing into an easier place?

Hello IH8FMS I am sorry I haven't replied sooner. I have been pretty busy working on something urgent for my husband; not finished as yet! I can relate to all that you are saying in your posting above. Been there, done that!!! It ain't fun, is it! I want to reply in greater detail than I can right now. I see it as perhaps an issue of how to let your approach to spirituality assist you in facing these challenges. I use the term "spirituality" in a very broad sense: How I approach life, and some of the techniques I have found helpful, and I want to explain what the heck I am talking about - I am meaning more than just [b]practising[/b] your religion, but, rather, seeing how these challenges can be approached & overcome with various approaches to life itself. I can't do this justice right now, so please be patient with me, I will get back to this as soon as I am able. I hope I am not making this sound too formidable - it can really be fun & easy, even if the challenges are not! Yes, sometimes Life just plain sucks! Margaret (the fishgranny) ------------------ "Those who peer into the depths of the ocean can gaze upon the glorious creations of the Almighty; they can soar with the eagles." **************** BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

BellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out! OK, HELP: how do I do UBB code? Thank you. Margaret.

I don't know... I don't even know what UBB code IS, and i am not really a stranger to computers. I do customer support for an internet provider.

Okay, I second the HELP request!