BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Journals Failure Due to Fear?

I have panic attacks at times as well. They have gotten less severe over the past couple of years as I have gotten my Depression and Bi-Polar under control (both with medication and with counseling, it is a very 2 pronged approach - I don't think I would be in the place I am now with just one or the other.)

One of the exercises I was encouraged to do to help overcome my panic attacks is termed "flooding".

It is when you face your fear head on in increasing amounts of time.

The 2 places where I had the worst attacks were at church and at the grocery store. I actually felt I could control the amount of time at the store more easily (becaus people at my church that knew me wanted to hyug and talk to me, but strangers not so much so) so I started there.

1st I would have a list of things I needed to get from the store. I never went without a list. If I did not have something to focus on, then I was more lkely to panic. I would set my watch for however many minutes I needed to stay that time (5, 10, 15 - you might only be able to walk in the door and right back out the first time - but that is at least a step in the right direction.)

I did not look up from my cart except to get the groceries on my list. My goal in the beginning was to be able to stay in the store, not necessarily interract with people (except to check out at the end). Later, once I was able to navigate the entire store without worrying about the time - then I started trying to llok up at people and either smile, nod or say "hello".

I also did have a prescription for Klonipin, an anti-anxiety med. When I first started doing this i would need to take one every single time I got home, but gradually I did not need to, I could calm myself down by breathing slowly and thinking about what I had accomplished.

That is part of what works with flooding, not focusing on what you couldn't do, but what you DID do.

I hear you sister. I write out conversations all the time. I can write anything, anytime. But if I have to confront someone or speak in front of a crowd I freeze! I also don't go on some hikes with my family because I can not manage crossing the suspension bridge, without heart failure! Mattie a la mode

My fear is open spaces n people, I stay in the house and avoid both.

Since 9/11 and The Northeast Blackout of 2003, when I'm on the subway (I live in New York City) and there's the slightest delay, I panic if my children are at school. If they're at home with my husband I'm fine. During both catastrophes I was in Manhattan and my children were in Brooklyn at the time. Cell phones were down etc and I had no idea what was going on. Two of the worst days of my entire life.

When talking about fears, I didn't even think of this one since when everything goes smoothly I'll even take a nap on the train and I feel perfectly fine. But if there's a delay I do become extremely nervous.

LOL I still haven't made that phone call. I am so bad. OK. I can do this.

Shoot it just took me 20 minutes to FIND the items I was going to call her about and now I think it's too late. I will call tomorrow! Really!

I lived in NYC when they had the regional blackout. My friend and I were in Manhattan working on a research paper at an art museum and we were on the trip home when the power went out. We were standing in a packed train for hours and hours and finally were let off in Brooklyn near Utica Avenue, as I recall. They let us out through the first car and we walked along the tracks. Some folks were able to reach their family and they offered us a ride home.

When I did get home, my mother was trying to heat the kitchen. We had a gas stove and she opened the oven door to let heat into the room. What an experience. I understand how you feel.

Lisa, In response to your first post.

today, to be honest, writing. When I was in school, it was public speaking.

Angie - that's interesting - what about writing worries you?

Why does anyone have a phobia about something? It's probably a confidence thing.

I was wondering what part of writing seems to trigger your concerns. Is it thinking up what to write? Or showing the work to someone else?

For example, some of our forum members hate going outside into crowds of people, but are quite fine going outside into quiet nature. So usually there's an aspect of the situation that causes the concern.