Hey guys, I need a little advice.

My b'day is next month, and I want to do one of those "Dinner and a Murder" games for my birthday. They sound like so much fun. Plus I just really want to get together with a bunch of my friends.

My question is this:

If I say it is a birthday party - my friends will probably put more effort into coming (rather than one of my regular dinner parties), but people always feel compelled to bring a gift, not matter WHAT you say about "No gifts".

So should I just not mention it is my birthday and risk not having some people there, or go ahead and say it is a birthday party and ask everyone not to bring gifts (maybe request they make a donation to a harity instead?) or is that presumptuous?

How fun, Michelle! Oh, you MUST tell them it's your birthday! It's so awkward to show up and find out and then feel uncomfortable because you didn't bring a gift. You can say, "Well, I didn't tell anyone because I didn't want anyone to bring a gift!" but it doesn't remove the guest's uneasiness.

Tell them it's your birthday! Then, they'll be more likely to come.

As for etiquette, it is best to include a line like one of the following:

Your presence is my gift!
Respectfully requesting no gifts, please.
No gifts, please, but if you feel you must, please offer a small donation to the charity of your choice.

That should do it. And yes, some people wil give a gift no matter what you say. Smile and accept it graciously or scream out loud, "I SAID NO GIFTS NOW GET OUT!!!" LOL.

Have a wonderful time!

Michelle, Happy Birthday and how wonderful that you want to gather your friends to this fun event. By all means let them know that this is your birthday. They would be hurt to arrive and not realize the purpose of the gathering. Insisting on no gifts, as in the examples already given, are perfectly appropriate.
Of course there will be the friend who wants to give a gift and there is nothing wrong with giving and/or getting. Yes, their presence is gift enough but be gracious at the extra effort.

Unfortunately it wound up being a totally moot point.

Apparently Coca-Cola did not care it was my birthday. They planned a multi-continental changeover for the computer systems, which required David had to be physically on site to oversee.

I got to spend my birthday "party" listening to my 3 kiddos try to kill each other all day long then beat them into bed and collapse myself.

Woo-Hoo!

Hi Michelle!

I'm sorry your party didn't work out!

On the bright side, now you can plan a "Do Over"!!

Why not plan a party for next month? I loved your idea of the dinner and murder mystery theme.

Happy Happy Happy Belated Birthday!

A do-over is definatley appropriate.