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Joined: Nov 2008
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Amoeba
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Amoeba
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 70
I am so sorry for your loss Skyhaven. I did not lose a son - but i lost my mother when i was 3. I have 5 sisters and brother. One of my sisters NEVER got over the fact that our mom died - and although my mother was very religious (roman catholic - church everyday) - my sister NEVEr believed after that - and she's 48! No amount of counselling or talking could make her think that our mother's death was 'for a reason'. All of us in my family have always said -that had she lived - our lives would've been very different. I missed not having a mom- ALOT - especially when i got married and had kids. I had my sisters - and aunts but it wasn't the same. Just like losing your son - people TRY to be helpful - but its not really. UNLESS you've lost someone close in your life - you have NO idea the feelings of loss you go through. All these years later - almost 40 - i still grieve for my mother. Each year on her birthday i say a prayer - and the day she died. About 4 years ago my dad died. This is a story to tell......he was in the hospital - and he was doped up on morphine so he was saying alot of stuff - weird stuff - but we chalked it up to the drugs. One day i went to the hospital and sat down on the bed. He said - oh - your mother's here - it's time to go.....so i respectfully said - hi mom - and tried to talk to my dad - but it disturbed me - later -my sisters told me the same story. My one sister who is psychic (she does tarot and stuff) - said she could feel someone in the room. I don't believe in that stuff at all......but HE believed it to be true.....months later my one sister was driving on a highway and got into a serious accident - her car slid down the highway many many feet - and landed on the roof. Observers said it flew through the air - and they were amazed she was okay. She told me later that she felt someone was there.....holding onto to her. She walked away from that accident and she shouldn't of......i feel at certain times in my life -especially when i feel like giving up - there is that something there pushing me forward - and i know i am where i am today BECAUSE of all the things that have happened.

At the time it's happening you think - WHY ME! There is no answer as to why a young child dies. I just hope that i can do my part while im here on earth to make sure the people i love know i love them...

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Joined: Jul 2008
Posts: 44
K
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Hi All,

It's so nice to read all of your thoughts on this topic. Leah, if you stop back I'd love to know which of Mira Kirshenbaum's books your quote is from if you recall. I'd like to read it. I just received a review copy of her recent book "When Good People Have Affairs." I will be posting a review on it soon. I believe there's some truth in all of your comments, even though they are not all in agreement. Everything can happen for a reason, our responses can be made from free will choices, some things are possibly predetermined while other things happen because of our choices and reactions to things that happen. Why things happen to us is something we all seem to want to know. Is it fate, or faith, predestined or caused by our own choices? Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and I plan to keep trying to move forward with a purpose. I'm not sure if I feel that way for a reason or if I'm making that choice, but I'm ready to welcome a New Year.

Happy New Year!!!

Kate

Last edited by Kate Relationships Editor; 12/31/08 12:03 AM.
Joined: Jan 2009
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F
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NO! NO! NO!....For that to be true, it would somehow make my pain and misery ok and I think that a child does not deserve to go through what I have, I been through so much that I twice thought bout killing myself but didn't. There was no one who cared, and I never felt anything that happened to me or anyone else for that matter is justified by a higher purpose. Things just happen randomly and some of us get it worse than others, as bad as my abuse was, at least I never watched my famliy die of aids and was orpahed, as many are in third world countries...then die alone...sorry there is no reason or excuse or good to that, no one deserve that or to be abused as a child.

Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 275
C
Shark
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Joined: Oct 2008
Posts: 275
No, of course not.

E.G. ???? WAR

Joined: Dec 2008
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I do believe that things happen for a purpose in our lives.

Joined: Mar 2005
Posts: 185
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Jellyfish
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Posts: 185
I think everything is to teach us or show us something important.


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