BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Stress Management Three Factors Predispose Women to Stress

In my book Addicted to Stress: A Woman's 7 Step Program to Reclaim Joy and Spontaneity in Life I cite 3 factors for the self-induced pressure which is fueling the internal chaos, our frazzled nerves.

1) Women have been raised to be suppressed, good little girls.
2) Physiologically, women experience stress more intensely than men.
3) For the last few decades women have been taking on greater responsibility at work and at home while men are doing less.

It's time to lift the veil and take an honest look at ourselves. All this busyness is a way to escape from the self, the disappointments and unrealized dreams.

Take heart - AWARENESS is the first step to change a pattern of behavior.

I wonder if girls are being raised to be less suppressed in modern times? Are they more able to explore different ideas of how to play, and get dirty, and be active? Or do you think things haven't improved much?

I know my niece certainkly has no problem getting dirty and being tough when she needs to be. She plays fast-pitch softball and is very good at it. And when she is playing, she is a beast on the field.

Yet she was in the same beauty pageant as my daughter and looked gorgeous when all dressed up. She can be completely girly when she wants to be.

When it came time for the "Swap dance" (what we used to call "Sadie Hawkins Dance") she had no problem asking a boy. My daughter, however had to have my niece ask for her, LOL! She is much shyer.

I think its different for different places or it depends on one's upbringing

I do think most girls today feel freer to express themselves, but there is still a lot more pressure on them to be 'nice' than boys.

For me, I think #3 on the list (trying to do it all) is still the biggest stress-trigger for women. My own husband would probably be considered an enlightened man - we split housework pretty evenly and he is involved in all aspects of our children's care, but I still feel like I bear the primary psychological burden of keeping everything organized, making decisions regarding the kids health and care, making social decisions, etc. And for women I know who work full-time, that responsibility seems to be the main issue, regardless of whether or not they have an enlightened husband or even a housekeeper to help with the actual 'tasks'. It is the mental/psychological responsibility that seems to trigger the stress.

Isn't it interesting that they still have "named dances" where the girls ask the boys, as if it was something really odd?

I think nowdays women are better able to express themselves, especially due to the women's rights movements over the 1900's, but now too many women are trying to do it all. Not like it was before the 1990's and beyond. I'm 62 and in my early years there still was a very strict line as to who did what and why. Very confining.

But, I also see one of my daughters who is the main breadwinner due to her job in healthcare, trying to take care of a almost-two-year-old who has already had a couple of operations, and now my daughter who is 39, is in need of surgery due to a ruptured disk. Is all that related? I think most of it is. She has taken on way to much, although my grandson's medical problems were unexpected.

Stressed, you bet, but she also has greater opportunities than ever before to care for her family. If she had to be a stay-at-home mom living only on her husbands income, they would not have the health care available to them now, or the opportunity to live as well as they do.

I'm the oldest, and my mother did not go back to work teaching school until I was 10, and I really liked having her at home. Finances dictated her return to work and ultimately raised our standard of living.

Women have come a long ways, but I do still see differences that I think future generations will erase. 'Tis a process.

I would definitely agree with you. On one hand it's great that the woman can be the one to be the primary breadwinner, if she has more ability to bring in income. But on the other hand it should mean the husband picks up more of the chores and family work - but often that's not the case. Often the woman has to do all the work to bring in the income - and then the majority of work to care for the home and family too.

I agree with you all modern society adding an increasing amount of responsibilities to a woman�s role. We have to learn to set up boundaries for the sake of our own health and learn the benefits of simply saying no. According to an opinion research study "Part of what makes stress so difficult to treat is that what�s stressful for me and what�s stressful for you can be entirely different." And we often need to dig a little deeper than simply attending a stress management workshop or trying to get to yoga once a week.

I agree that changing roles and upbringing have a lot to do with stress. I didn't see my parents juggling multiple responsibilities so I had NO idea how it was done even as I had a yearning to juggle myself. I'm learning these things from scratch.