BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Baptist When It's Hard to Honor Thy Mother and Father

I love my parents. They have always been there for me through every trial, success, failure, and marriage. But, my patience is tested every time I am around them (for the past several years).

My mother is passive aggressive, controlling (in an ever so polite way), gossipy, and downright overbearing. I really do believe that she thinks I am a helpless 5 year old who still needs my boo-boos kissed. My dad is the epitome of a Scrooge. He fusses about the most insignificant things and searches for something to "debate" about if something is not immediately within eyeshot.

They make it very difficult to tolerate multiple hours of their negative energy. Sometimes I find myself staying away from their house because they stress me out so much with constant criticisms (about things they do not understand nor do they try to understand), arguing, and pressure to conform to the "joy" they have.

Does anyone else have this problem? What do you do in similar situations?

Happy Birthday Dountonia!

And I know exactly what you are talking about!

There are times when I have made a decision to do something, then my mother tells me what I should do. It is the decision that I have already made, but I swear - I want to do something else, just because I don't want her to think I am doing it because she told me to, LOL!!! Usually my good sense wins out and I will keep my mout shut - but boy am I grumbling inside.

The really funny thing is, everything that she complains about, about my grandmother (her mom) is exactly what SHE does. But she doesn't see it. So of course I am all the time asking my hiusband, "do I do that?"

I love my mom (and my grandmother) but I want to just shake them sometimes!

My dad is a whole different story. He is right. No matter what. He does not have opinions, he has declarations. And if you do not agree with him, you are wrong. Whether it is politics, religion, child-rearing, whatever.

It has gotten very bad with my oldest son who has Asperger's. When my son blows his top, he HAS to have time to calm down before you can speak to him about the situation. It is not a matter of being spoiled, being a "bad kid", or anything else. It is part of his autism. He cannot handle stressful situations - and he must have a quite place to calm down before he is capable of rational thought - this includes punishment.

My father will not accept this. If Michael loses it, and tries to leave the room to cool off, my dad forces him to stay there and keeps yelling at him. This of course makes Michael even more agitated - and his rage goes up. My father says that Michael has to learn to deal with it or he will never be able to survive in the real world. My point to him is that it is a very real possibility that Michael may not ever be able to be on his own in the real world. But my dad doesn't believe in the Asperger's. And neither of my parents believe in my Depression or migraines. They think these are things i should just "get over" and "deal with".

Whew! - Sorry, I think you opened the floodgates, LOL! Sorry to vent so much.

Michelle, I know what you mean. I think the problem is our parents do not see us develop and grow as a parent, person, adult because this took place away from them and they still see us as the person we use to be under their care.

I don't know. This is one the many things I need to keep praying about.