Hope this went to the correct area, I am new here. I read much over the past few days on women being abused and a few of men who were too. I also read on how to spot a loser, this post dealt with men though, and that kind of bothered me because you rarely see anything about woman that are that way.

I came from an abusive marriage myself. I am a man and can tell you that my wife took advantage of my love for her. It started out great and I am sure there were red flags that I over looked out of falling in love I guess like telling me she wanted to marry me etc. And yes when she get mad and leave she would say I was losing the best thing that ever happend to me.
We lived together for a while and got married 2 years later. Things were tough of course and there wasnt anything I wouldnt do for her. After a while she became controlling or tried to control me, and with in a few years time little by little became detached emotionally, allowed a young woman to move into my house with us, a girl half her age, and they became very close, I even found them laying in bed under the covers one Saturday morning like it was no big deal, this girl was recently dumped by her boy friend but for some reason he kept coming around my house? A psychologist friend of mind who specializes in female relationships told me that my wife shows all the classic signs of having an emotional affair with her new found girl friend and that is much deep than sexual affairs. Sure enough, she admitted to me that she was bisexual
and told her 9 year daughter she too might be gay??? She stopped loving me and presenting me in a light of no good and not careing for her to this live in toy of hers. I couldnt win, I felt trapped and totaly in a pit of darkeness as to what was going on? I prayed and yes I got ticked at times about it all. Were talking about a woman who to every body else on the out side, she appears loving and open hearted and even to those that come into her life. But behind closed doors and to those new ones in her life, she changes after a while and shows her real true self. Because of her I am now homelss and penniless. I finally left over a year ago sad to say, and she immediately stold her girl friends old boy friend. No tears from her at all. No sadness that she left her only daughter for a boy half her age. Like I said, she appears as a loving person, I thought she was too? But being hit by her car, stabbed in the chest and poisoned was a bit too much.
For my own sake I had to leave.

Hi Avenging Angel,

This is geared mostly towards women - so that is why you see the majority of posts that way.

I'm not saying this to scare you away, you are more than welcome here, just to explain why there aren't as many wife-cheating posts.

I actually did a research paper in college on husband abuse. It is not as uncommon as people think. It is just that it goes unreported because the majority of men do not want to admit it. That "macho" thing.

One of the things I learned was that while men that abuse their wives tend to use their fists, women that abuse their husbands tend to use a weapon of some sort. The little cartoon of the big burly housefrau cahsing her tiny husband with a rolling pin is acutally not quite so funny.


The other really disturbing thing I learned about husband abuse is that it tends to happen a lot to men thast are physically handicapped. Men that already have difficulty taking care of themselves are now victims of abuse and violence.

It is a sad world we live in.

Thank you ChelleLaunch&Spirituality for the reply. I am not trying to come off as "all her fault", all I am trying to say is
men are looked on as the abuser or they did some thing to cause the woman to snap. This same female who comes off as spiritual
to others is the same one who destroyed my home beyond repair.
A faith of convenience is a dead faith that does not feed the soul.

Take hope in this Avenging Angel. Everything we do in mistreatment to someone will come around and get us. That's the way life rotates.

You hang in there and if you go to church, seek counsel through your pastor or maybe a close male friend who will not ridicule you and last, but more importantly, ask for help through prayer. God sees all and knows all and can help you through anything as he heals your pain. I am a witness. Take care and thanks for stopping in.

Thank You Kimmie08,
Yes I do pray and know that God does indeed hear the prayers of the sincere hearted. I do wish to point out that I have no real ill feelings from past events, she is what she is by nature so who am I or anyone else to judge anothers character?
I guess what I am trying to say is perhaps her intentions where sincere at first like everyone else, but if a persons charater is flawed in some areas it will eventually surface.
A person can wear a mask for so long in hiding their true self.
So I do not blame her in respects to her inability to truely
have loved me to the point where submission of each other in
all ways of relationship/marriage goes as told in Ephesians
5: 22-33. I spoke of this chapter to her and she laughed at me
in that she misunderstood and she thinks that the scripture says woman are subservent of men? Emotionally she is selfish I guess and I took a chance it was real, gave all I had and lost everything. Yes I do occasionally go to church
and have much support from many friends and family. I speak to God all the time as he is a Father and Best Friend. But mostly
I pray for her that she stop - turn around and remember Gods
love for her and the child she left behind. Thanks Kimmie08
for being here for me.

You know what Avenging Angel, you are a very compassionate person it seems. Thank God for giving you a kind and forgiving spirit because many others might have done something regretable but thanks to the graces of God, you are displaying so much compassion and humility. And those are not qualities a lot of people possess. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Just a couple of things here. You say you were stabbed, poisoned, and hit by a car. Did all this happen on the same day, how did you survive, and why isn't this woman in jail for these crimes? Are there any hospital or police records of these things? All of these records can be used if it is retribution that you are seeking. Plus, depending on what state you are living in, when you divorce, you get at least half of everything if you can prove that it was not your fault. How could you be penniless and homeless?

You also mentioned that she destroyed your home beyond repair. How could this have happened if you are homeless? Plus, if you were the faithful husband, at the home, why would you stand by and allow her to destroy the home that you say you don't have. Why did you not report it to the police?

Secondly, "Avenging Angel" is a very agressive name. Not necessarily the name of a victim who is seeking comfort. It sounds like someone bent on getting revenge.

Thirdly, this all happened a long time ago, not to seem too cold, but why haven't you moved on? I know that there are two sides to every story and I am a bit sceptical at the picture you have painted about how evil and mean this woman was to you (as some of facts are contradictory), and yet you were the ideal husband, but if you have truly found peace from the Bible (as you quote it often enough), then you would not be out bashing this woman. It would be interesting to get her side of the story as well.

-whoisjohngalt

Thank you, whoisjohngalt (bet you thought you'd never hear that from me, LOL!)

I have the bad habit of being suckered in for the sob story, without checking all the details first.

My article on husband abuse is still good info - that kind of thing still happens. But these forums are being used to manipulate us in a bad marriage situation.

The wife in this instance contacted me via PM. It is someone who has been on these forums for quite a while, but she does not wish to bring this particular aspect of her realtionship to the forefrunt, becuase it is a legal case.

I was duped by "Avening Angel". It will not happen again.

No you weren't. No why? Because its just like giving a homeless person (or one who portrays one) a dollar or a sandwich. If he/she is faking it, its not your judgment call. There is one already taking notes of all our superficial wannabe's out there.

With the words I left about compassion and God, he may just feel condemned but if not, still we've done our part. Everything happens for a reason, remember that. Maybe this was your test to see if you would be compassionate. Who knows? I do know this, I cannot and refuse to be skeptical of everyone and every thing done. I'm not infinite just a human being that has to ask God for wisdom to know what to do and how to do it.

I am sorry you feel that way. I did not sucker you or anyone into a "sob story" as you put it. I never mentioned names at all out of privacy sake as you know from what I posted yet this person as you say has contacted you, how did this person know I am speaking of them as there are many on here that have gone thru a broken marriage? I never bashed anyone, but only spoke to get things off my mind and ask a ladies opinion. I never made up a story. Sorry that any one feels the way they do on here in a negative light. If you honestly feel you were duped by me, it is because perhaps you are biased that I am a guy and you automaticly take the side of another female. Thats fine I guess. I assumed forums like this was to share opinions and seek help from others men or women who experienced the same things. I wont post any longer on here or on Bella as I can see from reading your response as well as the others how one sided it is on here. I wish you all well.