BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Pagan What do you tell people, if anything?

So we're actually a weird form of pagan: christo-pagan. In practice, we use the Bible as a set of guidelines and a sort of "Aesop's Fables" and Jesus is a great man who set a great example. While we're not really big on the theory "God" per se, we will occasionally use it to refer to the larger force that we feel is the breath of the Earth.

Because the pagan holidays mesh so nicely with the Christian ones, most people have no clue what we believe or practice. And really the only time we're getting actual questions is when people ask about where we go to church or if our son will attend Sunday School or catechism, etc. Really, none of it's their business, but in the interest of not estranging everyone who doesn't have the personal sense of a duck (which is a lot of people) I was wondering what YOU tell people...?

While I claim the title of Pagan Buddhist, I still teach my kids (8 and 5) about Jesus and we talk about bible stories. My son (the 8 year old) bugged me for a year to go to church. I remember how scary church was when I was a kid and wanted to shelter him from it but I figured sooner or later, I had to let it happen. So I allowed a friend to take him and his sister (5) to their church. Now, I teach Jesus and the Christian God are about love, forgivenes, etc. positive things. Wesley comes home from church and as soon as he walks in the door he says "Mommy, I don't want to go back to church ever". I ask him why and he said he was confused about what he was told. The church focused on a lot of negativity and the youth pastor talked about sinning and going to hell and how we are all born sinners, etc etc. I told him while that is all true that is not what Jesus is about. Now my friend bugs me all the time to let them go back and she doesn't understand why Wesley doesn't want to go back. I don't hide the fact that we are Pagan and Buddhist but I don't advertise it either. All of our close friends and family know we are but I am not an in-your-face kind of person about it. I don't wear pentacles wherever I go, our altars at home are simple unless it is the day of a Sabbat. Like you said, it is really no ones business, but I am proud yet subtle.

I don't really say anything unless I am asked or it comes up somehow. Like Jeanette said, close friends and family know.

Growing up with church on Sunday, etc doesn't make me forget everything I learned, but as an adult, I have incorporated what I believe into my life.

Church now, is about out of the question except for a UU church, which are nowhere near my house. When I move if one is closer, I might go. Otherwise, I am a solitary practitioner.

I moved from NJ to the mid-west 10 years ago and it was a real wake up call about how nosy people can be. On the east coast MYOB is the norm, here they ask any question they want. Since I was raised with the MYOB attitude I don't suffer personal questions well. So I tell them I am Pagan. Since I now live on the gold buckle of the bible belt, that response usually does one of two things. They either back off (probably out of fear, teehee) or try to show me the error of my ways, then I just walk away. My family and friends know what I am and they live and let live, I don't care about anyone else's opinion.

To avoid getting the question in the first place, I avoid discussing religion, and don't wear a pentacle openly in public (most of the time)

Your question made me think of a funny story (well funny to me anyway). I have a little alter set up in our third spare room. Anyone from the practice would recognize what it was if they saw it. The first time my MIL came to visit (we don't live in the same town) my husband was showing her around and she asked what "that" was? My husband who had not a clue what to say to his highly devout catholic mother just shrugged it off as my "stuff" (which it is). But I think she has probably figured it out since she's slept in the other spare room where I have all my "witchy" books. She's never asked which is fine with me. It was just a funny memory you uncovered.

When My DH and I were first together, he was uncomfortable telling his Mom what I was. To ease his mind I would hide all my "witchy" stuff when she came to visit. We've been together 15 years now and she is aware, but we don't discuss it. Now when she stays with us I don't hide my books, but all my ceremonial things remain out of site. She doesn't try to "save" me and Wiccans don't try to convert any one else, so we're cool with each other.

Helen, that is wonderful that you and your mother-in-law accept each other just the way you are.

I like the fact that some faiths, like yours, do not get "in your face" about it. My faith is a mixture of several and I never try to push my beliefs on anyone, for they are mine, from my heart. Everyone has their own path.

I am openly Catholic and a strega. Which one I talk about with others depends on them. Very few people can handle a conversation about both at the same time (and this goes for the Pagans as much as it does for the Christians). My disclosures about my religion is on a need-to-know basis, and most of the time I do not think just everyone needs to know.

LadyLvsNyt,
If you don't mind me asking; what is "strega"? I've not heard that term before.

'strega' is the Italian feminine word for witch. Stregoneria is Italian Witchcraft. In the USA it usually denotes an Americanized version popularized by Leland's "Aradia: Gospel of the Witches" and now-a-days by Raven Grimassi and referred to as 'Stregheria'. But in Italy it is still a very individual practice that is as different as the village and family that passes it down. I was taught by my husband's nana.

We have the Strega Nonna children's books! My inlaws are off the boat from Italy and they think we're just "celebrating" our son's heritage!

I think that you have to be strong in character to live according to ones beliefs. This town has 600 people, 95 percent of them are religious but incredibly intolerant of other belief systems. Several people have come to my door asking if they might come in and talk about their religion. They have been very nice about it and I, also being very nice in return, tell them that I am a witch man after they ask. They can't get out of the door fast enough. If my belief system was that shallow I would have abandoned it years ago. I was grilled one day by a local fundemental religious pastor who told me that I was hurting Yahweh's children by being here. I told my other half after he left that I was going to open a church right here in the house and call it the First Church of Witchcraft Watering Hole for the Relief of the Parched Masses of Stagnant Stupidity. We both rolled off of our chairs laughing until we cried.

I think it was Ravyn who mentioned an on the need to know basis. That's pretty much how I approach it. If people ask, I will most likely tell them, but it really depends on the situation.

I'm pretty much the same way, but I feel more comfortable with my beliefs now so if religion comes up in conversation with people I know well I will likely mention my background. Plus, I work with a bunch of Biologists (being a biology grad. student myself), which seem to be a pretty religiously tolerant group. At least if you aren't a fundamentalist.