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Hi all my name is traci and I need some advice My husband and I have been married for 2 1/2 years I feel that we are really in love I trust him completly and do try to share my feelings with him My dilema is his family and ex-wife I only met my inlaws once and that was at my wedding with all the other stuff like getting married guest and such I really didn't get to know them So its almost Thanksgiving and we are going to visit and there is going to be a surprize 80th Bday party for my father in law the Saturday after Thanksgiving. So I was really excited thought maybe I could get to know the family a little. However this is going to be a formal cocktail party and I am as country redneck as they come I do have friends willing to help me dress LOL taking the country to the city so I'm a little nervous about this and then to make it all just dampen my husbands ex-wife who has remained tight with the family is going to be there. There was no children from this ten year marriage and she also is remarried so why I don't begrudge her the relationship she has with his family I just would like to get to know them without her there.I have never met her and really don't care to I just wish she would honestly leave my husband alone but she has even taken over buying the family gifts for father in law from everyone so now I am supposed to give her money also. Told my husband how I feel and he says he understands but can't do anything about it I guess is what I would like is for him to tell his family to give me a chance to be thier friend without her influcence. This woman also wanted me to sign a pre nup with my husband which i didn't. To qoute my husband "people in the city talk about people from the country" so he seems to be telling me they are going to talk about me and with her there that just really hurts my feelings so I'm saying I may not go and he is making me feel like I'm giving him ultiamatiums I said he could go but maybe I would be safer home in my little country world. I don't care if he sees her (well yes it bugs me) but he has gone and stayed at her house when hehas been returning from long trips She is about 500 miles his parents about 1000 miles So Any advice woman thanks bunches should i go should i stay Sorry for rambling on

Go and be yourself. I can understand you being a little bit intimidated (been there before) and my Dad would always tell me...I have no idea why you are scared, they put their pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us.

I read your e-mail. I am a cofident, sexy 43 year old women with the same insecurities. I have been married to my husband for 21 years!I will try and help you, only because you asked.First thing, this family has this dynamic long before you were in the picture.I call it DRAMA! and City Drama is NO different then Country Drama,So I would go buy myself the sexiest dress and shoes and pretend that this was the first night your husband was ever to see you, don't play to these people, and certainly not this ex- wife! You sound like a real nice gal,and make no mistake simple is a nice quality.So keep it simple.

I know from lots of expereience, I have played to my husbands family for 20 years, and they still don't let me in,But my Man loves me,I think he likes the fact that I dress for him,Don't lose who you are to try and win others.Have fun and enjoy the journey, My favorite thing to do is to just watch and observe. Now their wondering how I feel about them. Hmmm? How 20 years of maturity can change the course, Remeber it's a process to have relationship with people, they will respect you for staying true to you, and if their all really nuts! Drink a glass of wine, Wear sexy shoes and have fun!

HI,
Well, you received very good advise. So, please let us know how it turns out. Also, good for you for not signing the pre-nup. You sound like a very nice lady. Good luck with everything. Judy K. Chicaqo.

I'm with you Silver50. "livetopaint" hit the nail on the head.

Look gorgeous darlin', have fun and be nice. No matter what. Don't let the b**** come out, 'cause sometimes people really can try and pull it out. You just be classy and not assy...Tell us how it went. Happy harvest.