Diana,
I think the hardest thing anyone can ever do is stay married. For me, it is harder than raising kids. You said you went to a marriage counselor twice, but really no changes can be made until you guys keep going. And eventhough you may think he is making you sound bad, the counselor is used to people doing that. He/she knows that there are two sides to every story, really, they do, and he can't make them think you are some horrible person. Obviously, you guys still love each other or you wouldn't even have gone. I haven't been divorced, but only because we went to counseling. My husband didn't go all the time, but I did, and it made a tremendous difference. The thing that has kept me going this whole time, even when it is hard now, is my kids. My parents were divorced & it was tramautic for me. So, I've tried, for them, to make it work. And if you both have already been divorced, then the kids have gone through a lot already, and a second one could really mess them up as far as ever trusting anyone again. I know how difficult it is, I really, really do. If it wasn't for God or my kids, I wouldn't be here. If you guys could hold off, and try to work it out for the kids sake, I think it will be worth it for you. But he also has to be willing. I'll be praying for you.