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Do you think that Everything Happens For A Reason?

Everything happens for a reason � how many times have you heard someone make that statement? Why do relationships fail or disasters befall you? Psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum has answers in her book Everything Happens For A Reason.

Read my review and then let us know what you think - Do you think that Everything Happens For A Reason?

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NO!


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I've decided that things happen, if for no other reason, so that I can share my experiences with others-and they don't feel so alone during timesnof trial and sorrow.

We have had some horrible things happen in our lives, that have really wanted to make me bury my head in the sand. Yet, 5 -10 years later, I have had the chance to share my experiences. I won't say that I've been ab;e to give people the "magic answer" to all problems, but i have been able to be an empathic ear, and say "I know what you are going through - this too will pass."

Ha! I'm not so sure I wouldn't change me life for the more peaceful one, but it has given me the opportunity to be a shoulder, an ear, and share my beliefs.


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As a Christian, yes, I do believe that everything happens for a reason.


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Bad things happen so that we can learn from our mistakes. Period.

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My 13yr old son was killed, what reason did that happen for?


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I believe that everything happens for a reason.

Most of the good things that happen to me I put down to good luck & being in the right place at the right time. I think my life is map out & things happen to get me to the next place of my life.

I'm enjoying the journey & have no plans. Destiny will guide me to where I'm meant to be. It's worked for my whole life so far.

Even bad things end up leading to good things. I'm laughing my way to life




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To say that everything happens for a reason suggests a belief in predestination. I don't believe that our path is laid out for us before we walk. I think life is made up of choices and choices lead to consequences..good or bad.
To me the idea that Skyhaven's 13 year old son's death was predestined , and that it happened for a reason, just sounds cruel. What reason can be given for the death of a child that will compensate for her loss? Even people who use the loss of a loved one to help others would tell you that the satisfaction they feel for helping does not compensate for the loss.
Just my thoughts, for what they are worth.


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This is a very difficult question to answer isn't it? I think that most people think when good things happen, most of us give the credit to luck; but when bad things happen and we just can't comprehend why they happened there are generally only two responses to the question why did this happen - either there is no reason, or there is no reason that makes any sense except to believe that everything happens for a reason. I think that people search for answers all day, every day, and that's why we potentially grasp at this concept when we are searching for answers to help us cope.

Rosie, I'm so very sorry for your loss and know that there are no words anyone can say that will mend your broken heart but hope the support you receive in these forums helps you in some small way.

Thanks to everyone who has joined us and posted your answers, stop back if you have additional thoughts on this subject and share them. It's good to hear everyone's opinions on this topic. If you're reading this post, please let us know what you think - do you think that Everything Happens for a Reason like Psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum, the author of the book of the same title - or do you disagree?

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I do believe everything happens good or bad for a reason. But, I hate that answer.

In detail I beleive everything is a reaction (like energy) and can be traced back, obviously, to something else in a sense like cause and effect. I feel energy intersects, like we are all a bunch of cross stitches or something but attatched to each other and every reaction or event causes a certain type of gross energy, sometimes in bulk - like wars.

When something of nonsense seems to happen, like I had cross words with my daughter and she was in a car accident. I don't beleive that alone is cause and effect. I believe we come into this life with a set agenda and pass at a certain time in connection with our outline.

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I do believe everything happens good or bad for a reason.
I remember a long time ago a book (not sure of the title or author) Why bad things happen to good people.
It is not what happens to me...but my ability to handle it. In my case I am a Christian..I try to put everything in God's hands.
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I agree and add that 'Nothing in this Universe is by chance'

If we start thinking from little to big happenings in our daily life, soon we could be able to get the 'reasons' behind them. There are links between these happenings which are not visible until we have had an 'Eye' to see inside.
Another approach could be to get the ability to read our 'subconcious'. I think meditation is a great way to get this approach!!!


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I also remember a book aboaut bad things happening to good people, although I never read it. It does seem as though most of the answers seem to be leaning toward agreement that maybe not everything happens for a reason but that many things do. Some people seem to feel that everything is predetermined while others believe that there's a link between what we do and what happens, and others think that what happens just happens and is not interrelated to any type of a reason. The responses are probably as varied as the ways we choose to live our lives.

Again, thanks to everyone who has joined us and posted your answers, stop back if you have additional thoughts on this subject and share them. It's good to hear everyone's opinions on this topic. If you're reading this post, please let us know what you think - do you think that Everything Happens for a Reason like Psychotherapist Mira Kirshenbaum, the author of the book of the same title - or do you disagree?

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I don't believe that everything happens for a reason. However, I believe that we can find meaning in everything that happens. There isn't anything that occurs, good or bad, that we cannot learn from.


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I believe everything happens for a reason. I also believe that somehow that all are connected. Sometimes something we don't like that happens is to prepare us for possibly something else that may happen down the line in our future to make us stronger and be able to cope with it better. It is soemthing that I feel more than I know so hard to explain. Sort of like intuition of karma. Everything in this universe is directed by energy and we are pushed and pulled in all directions.

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my mom used to say - god doesn't give us anymore than we can handle.....and i do think that in a way -everything happens for a reason - but we are where we are at a specific time for a reason - we make choices in our life - and because of those choices - certain things happen. We are in control of it all -just like that old saying - when one door closes another opens (or a window?)

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Yes, I believe everything happens for a reason - even the bad things. If bad things happen, it's God's way of testing how strong and faithful we are.


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I believe that things do happen for a reason. I believe that even the bad things are all part of God's plan to prepare us for what lies ahead. The key factor here is not to question why, but to ask the Lord to show you his purpose. Keep your heart and mind open. In my opinion, God gives us children as a gift. The gift is not the human being. The gift is being part of thier lives for how ever long they are here on earth. Love your children as if today is the last day. Ask the Lord how may you serve Him through the gifts he has given you. To any parent who has lost a child. I am truly sorry.

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I believe that we all have free will in our lives. We are faced with decisions every day and we make choices and things happen as a result of this. But, we have to keep in mind that while we may be making good choices, to help ourselves and our families, our lives are intersecting with other people, who may be making horrible choices. Perhaps they choose to drink and drive and someone we love comes into their path and becomes a part of their bad choice.

So, in fact I do belive that things happen for a reason and I believe that God can use the good choices and the bad choices to bring about things in our lives. Maybe to teach us something or to make us see something when we won't listen any other way. Bad things do happen to good people, it's what we choose to do when things are bad that makes us who we are.

Just my thoughts on the subject and to Rosie, I am sooo sorry that you and your family must face this trajedy. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

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Hi Kate:

First off I LOVE Mira Kirshenbaum's work. Her work taught me how to make a hard decision, you choose what's closest to your heart. One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received. So I'm not suprised to read your positive review of this book.

I haven't read this particular book yet however, I have to say I do think things happen for a reason, but we may never KNOW for sure what that reason is ever, but it's our job to try to make sense of it and make peace with it for our own growth and sanity.

I was the child of a teenaged mother, was given up for adoption, I have a whole long story and I never ever, ever think WHY me. I mean why NOT me? We've all had our trials and tribulations to confront and hopefully overcome.

Last edited by leahmullen; 12/28/08 11:18 PM.

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I am so sorry for your loss Skyhaven. I did not lose a son - but i lost my mother when i was 3. I have 5 sisters and brother. One of my sisters NEVER got over the fact that our mom died - and although my mother was very religious (roman catholic - church everyday) - my sister NEVEr believed after that - and she's 48! No amount of counselling or talking could make her think that our mother's death was 'for a reason'. All of us in my family have always said -that had she lived - our lives would've been very different. I missed not having a mom- ALOT - especially when i got married and had kids. I had my sisters - and aunts but it wasn't the same. Just like losing your son - people TRY to be helpful - but its not really. UNLESS you've lost someone close in your life - you have NO idea the feelings of loss you go through. All these years later - almost 40 - i still grieve for my mother. Each year on her birthday i say a prayer - and the day she died. About 4 years ago my dad died. This is a story to tell......he was in the hospital - and he was doped up on morphine so he was saying alot of stuff - weird stuff - but we chalked it up to the drugs. One day i went to the hospital and sat down on the bed. He said - oh - your mother's here - it's time to go.....so i respectfully said - hi mom - and tried to talk to my dad - but it disturbed me - later -my sisters told me the same story. My one sister who is psychic (she does tarot and stuff) - said she could feel someone in the room. I don't believe in that stuff at all......but HE believed it to be true.....months later my one sister was driving on a highway and got into a serious accident - her car slid down the highway many many feet - and landed on the roof. Observers said it flew through the air - and they were amazed she was okay. She told me later that she felt someone was there.....holding onto to her. She walked away from that accident and she shouldn't of......i feel at certain times in my life -especially when i feel like giving up - there is that something there pushing me forward - and i know i am where i am today BECAUSE of all the things that have happened.

At the time it's happening you think - WHY ME! There is no answer as to why a young child dies. I just hope that i can do my part while im here on earth to make sure the people i love know i love them...

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Hi All,

It's so nice to read all of your thoughts on this topic. Leah, if you stop back I'd love to know which of Mira Kirshenbaum's books your quote is from if you recall. I'd like to read it. I just received a review copy of her recent book "When Good People Have Affairs." I will be posting a review on it soon. I believe there's some truth in all of your comments, even though they are not all in agreement. Everything can happen for a reason, our responses can be made from free will choices, some things are possibly predetermined while other things happen because of our choices and reactions to things that happen. Why things happen to us is something we all seem to want to know. Is it fate, or faith, predestined or caused by our own choices? Tomorrow is New Year's Eve and I plan to keep trying to move forward with a purpose. I'm not sure if I feel that way for a reason or if I'm making that choice, but I'm ready to welcome a New Year.

Happy New Year!!!

Kate

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NO! NO! NO!....For that to be true, it would somehow make my pain and misery ok and I think that a child does not deserve to go through what I have, I been through so much that I twice thought bout killing myself but didn't. There was no one who cared, and I never felt anything that happened to me or anyone else for that matter is justified by a higher purpose. Things just happen randomly and some of us get it worse than others, as bad as my abuse was, at least I never watched my famliy die of aids and was orpahed, as many are in third world countries...then die alone...sorry there is no reason or excuse or good to that, no one deserve that or to be abused as a child.

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No, of course not.

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I do believe that things happen for a purpose in our lives.

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I think everything is to teach us or show us something important.


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