HI,
I don't want to hurt your feelings but to me it sounds like she might be trying to use you. You mentioned that she lives with another lady & they are a couple. Also, a warning sign to me was when I read that you did loan her some $. It sounds like you do alot for her. But what has she done for you? I would not give her any $. You probably won't get it back. She is also already living with a lady & in a relationship with her. That is another warning sign.
I agree with Vance that these work place relationships can bring alot of trouble into your life. I know how it is to really like someone & care about them, but to me it seems like she is giving you mixed signals. You mentioned that she said she was not comfortable being friends with you because of your feelings for her. Yet she is comfortable taking $ from you. That is another warning sign. I mean she tells you she did not want to be friends with you because of your feelings. Then when you asked her if she wants you to stay away, she told you no. She migh just want to use you for $ & what you can do for her.
Again, it does not sound like she is doing anything. for you. I know you like her alot but if i was you, I would back off. Just keep it professional & polite. Trust me there are many women who would love to have a man care about them so much. Maybe she is just getting off on all of the adoration & attention. But from reading your letter, it sounds like she is stringing you along to possibly use you.
Since she keeps giving you mixed messages then you might want to put that attention & care on a lady who would appreciate you more. You have to keep in mind that she does live with that lady & it sounds like a intimate relationship. So, she does have someone in her life already. I would not keep wasting my time & attention on some one who keeps playing games. Good luck to you. Have an nice weekend too. Judy K. Chicago.