I have a Catholic friend who has had some personal issues with the Church and who is married to a pagan (not Wiccan, more of an Asatruar but not really practicing). She has become rather Liberal and Democratic in her views and for the last year has not attended Mass because she feels she will be rejected. ( I personally do not think she will be rejected because unless she starts talking about her views I don't see how anyone would know about it and the Mass is not the place for socializing anyway--the coffee-room is! )

She says she has no problem with Confession, or sharing her ideas with the Priest and taking any suggestions he might have to readjust her thinking, so that is not really a problem. But this "not feeling welcome" is. How can I help her feel welcome again until her conscience has been tweaked appropriately to make the necessary changes she may have to make in her attitude?

I don't think she should stay away from Mass because she does not agree with all the Catholic Social-Service norms....and basically that is the problem not the Creed or basic dogma.

I think she is closer to being "in the right place" than if she was not Catholic at all, and I want her to find peace again so she can grow in maturity.

How Liberal is still acceptable in the Catholic Church? I tried to look some things up on the internet but it is so confusing. There is not even agreement on what the Pope says and means! And it seems like the opinions of what is acceptable changes from one Priest to another! ( Again I am not talking about dogma, just matters of opinion and conscience. For instance--how literal is the Bible? or How far should govt be involved in religious/personal matters?... that sort of thing. )

Ravyn

At least she is making some progress... that is, becoming a progressive liberal. The Catholic Church is counterproductive in this regard, as it tends to side along with recalcitrant conservatives in its social policies and women's reproductive rights in particular.

A person doesn't have to be Catholic in order to have a personal relationship with God. This church may just not be the right fit for your friend.

It is more important that she finds a place to worship where she is comfortable and can be herself than what "flavor" or denomination that religion is.

ah but she wants to stay Catholic, which is why I was hoping there might be some Catholic answers! LOL
Ravyn

Ah, OK - I would still be willing to bet there are some Catholic churches that are more "progressive" than others.

I know they are all supposed to follow the same set of guidelines, but it is people in charge after all - so their personality would have to affect the way the church is ran to some degree.

Maybe there is an answer that way...

"progressive" is the word I was looking for! Thanks-Chelle!

The parish we go to has a lovely Church building with the traditional high arches and stained glass windows and alcoves with lovely statues and prayer nooks. But it is rather moderate/conservative.

There is another Church building that is in a near-by parish that looks like the Mother Ship landed and the congregation is more progressive and liberal--only problem is they are rather cold and no one there is younger than 65 or has an income of less than $200K a year! All retired doctors and lawyers who live on the golf course or lake. My husband and I tried going there for about a year and left without there being a single good-bye.

I think she just wants to know if it is ok to be herself and still feel like she belongs with the group. I really do not know myself how liberal/progressive is too much--not something they teach in RCIA.

Some of the things she has discussed with me are: she thinks there is more to the "historical" Jesus, Mary, Mary Magdalen and some of the Saints than meets the eye. I don't THINK she is too DaVinci Code-ish, but she does believe there are some "conspiracies" and cover-ups. She also thinks the Church should reform their teachings on birth control--altho it is not an issue for her, and the ordination of females and marriage for priests. Also she is involved in somethings that are considered New Age or Occult because of her husband---reading the horoscope in the newspaper and she has had her tarot read. Feng Shui, aromatherapy for chakras, crystals. She talks to angels.

I can't really say she thinks any differently than I do--but I don't know what to say to assure her of acceptance by the Church either--if you know what I mean!

Ravyn

If possible, she can shop around the Catholic parishes in her area and see if there is one that feels comfortable to her. I did that and am happy in my very diverse Catholic community. I tried the most outwardly liberal parish in my town and found the congregation to be smug and insular in their ostantatious liberality. In fact, when I expressed a differing opinion on a social matter to the pastor he asked me to resign as a cantor because he "did not feel comfortable sharing the altar space with someone who didn't agree with him"! I sure didn't feel comfortable sharing the church with him and immediately looked around for a more openminded congregation. I found it in a downtown parish whose congregation is diverse in income, race and opinions but who are welcoming and loving of all despite our political and social differences.
The point is, each individual parish is a community that can differ in outward ways, just as any human communities do. I hope that your friend can find one that feels right to her.

I wish I lived in the city again for that very reason Claybird! But unfortunately we only have these two here close.
What I need to get for her is a "Progressive Catholicism for Dummies" book! (Maybe I will read it first then give it to her!)
Ravyn

LadyLvsNyt, of which parish are you a member?

My daughter lives in PA - I think there is a Catholic church in every neighborhood. She attended one for a few Sundas when she moved there and then shopped around for another. She's happy where she is now.

I live in Bedford, VA- my friend is in the county. There is a Bedford parish and a Moneta parish, then nothing for 30 miles or more in the cities. And the Moneta parish is going to start sharing our priest the beginning of the year which means cutting a Mass on Sunday for one of us. This is the South, no such thing as neighborhood Catholic Churches.
Ravyn