BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development Is self confidence key to contentment?

Do you think that self-confidence is a key factor to personal and professional contentment? Will you share your thoughts?

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~Sharon

To me ---- Self-confidence can make the difference between going for my dreams or staying in the house and not coming out.

I'm very shy and wouldn't say I'm too self-confident. I don't take a lot of risks. I guess it's because I don't believe in myself.

Any suggestions?

Start with small risks, and don't compare youself to others. My dreams mostly revolve around my writing career, so I break my goals down into itty-bitty achievable steps. And I don't compare myself to the Big Writers (though I do watch and learn from them).

Once you tackle the little steps and start taking small risks, you develop the self-confidence you need to take bigger risks and live a fuller life.

Yes, Self confidence is key to contentment.
True self confidence comes from an attitude where you "promise yourself, no matter how difficult the problem life throws at you, that you will try as hard as you can to help yourself. You acknowledge that sometimes your efforts to help yourself may not result in success, as often being properly rewarded is not in your control.
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Wonderful pointers Sharon! We so many times equate our self-value with sucess, or money, or beauty, or any other number of things.

I don't think self-confidence is the only key to contentment, but it is definitely the first building block, the cornerstone as many Christians would say. But it is a hard stone to lay - and make stick where we want it to go!

Other people (especially those close to us, like our parents or spouses) can easily knock that out from under us with just a few words. I know my parents are the worst for me. I think I have myself centered and going in the right path - and then one snide comment makes me feel like I am 7 again. And it can be something as inconsequential as "what did you do to your hair?" (said with that tone of voice) when it is obvious that I just had my hair cut and colored.

Finding my voice with my parents is hard. I have a hard time finding the balance between "respect your elders" and "stand up for yourself" - especially with my parents. On the other hand, I can't imagine some stranger making the comments to me that my parents make.

I think self-confidence is important, but some of us just don't have it, still we must press on anyway. In his book 80/20 Principle, Richard Koch calls it "parsimonious positive action." That's when you do what you have to do no matter how you feel-even if you are fearful or shy or lack confidence.

That's how I always am when I mail in a short story to a confession magazine or go on a job interview. I think "oh they'll NEVER hire me or buy my story. Despite my thoughts I still show up and do my absolute best. And lo and behold most of the time I am successful!

Unfortunately success doesn't increase my confidence much at all, but that's okay because I've got PPA, which is just as good.

My Favourite Topic!!

I believe that Self Confidence and Self Esteem are at the root of All issues!

If you think about it, everything we think, do, say - and the decisions we make - are all coloured by how we feel about ourselves, and the beliefs we have about ourselves.

A person with High Self Esteem will have automatically Healthy Self Confidence, and will be more likely to create financial abundance, attract and maintain healthy relationships, take the opportunities to do what s/he loves... and will be less likely to over-work and do things that don't feel good.

I believe that even Health is affected by Self Esteem. A person with High Self Esteem is more likely to look after themselves health-wise. It's easier to eat healthily when you feel good about yourself and when you have a basic subconscious belief that you are worthy of good, healthy food. A person with High Self Esteem is also more inclined to do exercise and sport they enjoy - because they believe they can do it, and that they are worth the money and time.

A person with low self esteem and confidence is more likely to feel down, medicate with unhealthy food, feel incapable of doing the exercise or sport they would enjoy - and/or that the time or money should be spent on someone/something else.

The list is endless... finances, health, relatonships, state of mind, motivation, career satisfaction, .... everything I can think of, I can see a connection to Self Esteem.

I believe that if a person focuses on raising their Self Esteem (meaning a person's basic beliefs about himself), most (if not all) other issues would Automatically resolve as a result.

Love and Light and Magic xxx