Earlier this week, one of the girls in my daughter's Girl Scout troop was killed in a plane crash. Her mother, who had served as our troop's cookie mom and was very active and involved with the girls in the troop, was also killed in the crash. As you can imagine, my daughter's been having a hard time coping with the loss of her friend and with the loss of an adult she really liked and trusted.

The troop leader has set up a special meeting for the girls and parents tomorrow (Friday), to give the girls a chance to share their memories and to talk about the grief and feelings they've been going through this week. The memorial service will be the following day, and my husband and I will be taking our daughter to it.

Obviously, the pain of this loss is going to have long-lasting effects on these 10 and 11-year-old girls. For those of you who work for GSUSA, are you aware of any procedures at the national or regional level for helping a troop going through this kind of an issue? As a parent of one of the affected girls, I'd like to have an idea of whether we could see help at some level from GSUSA, or if the troop leaders and the parents are going to have to figure out how to help the girls on our own.

My heart goes out to you, your troop and your daughter, as well as the family. I understand all too well what you're going through, as our Brownie troop of 4 girls lost one in May very suddenly. It has been difficult.

When I asked council if they had any resources for us, I was told no. I'm not sure if national has any information or resources, though, so if you find out, I'd be interested, as well.

Hugs to all of you!

Lesley, I'm so sorry to hear that, I hope your daughter and every one can get through this. And also like Kerry my heart goes out to all of you, God bless!

Lesley and all Leaders in Girl Scouts,

I am a Service Unit Manager from Vermont and I found information on Helping Children Cope with Grief and Loss in girl scouts. I hope this helps. May god comfort you and your troop though this.
God Bless.
Diadel

Helping Children Cope with Grief and Loss
Grief is a normal reaction to change brought about by loss � whether a loved one, a pet, a home, a
community or a way of life. Across the nation many of today�s children have been exposed to the loss
related to natural disasters, such as the recent fires in California, or war or other traumatic events. Whether
experiencing these events directly or indirectly, a child�s world can be turned upside-down with sense of
loss, stress and concerns about safety.
Children feel grief just as intensely as adults, but may not have the cognitive or emotional coping skills that
adults have, nor do they always have the words to frame their feelings and reactions.
Some children whose feelings of grief and loss are extremely strong may show no emotion or even exhibit
seemingly inappropriate behaviors, such as making jokes or laughing. These children need assistance in
dealing with their pain just as much as the children who show their sadness more openly.
Here are some ways you can help children deal with grief:
�� Children need to have the opportunity to talk openly about their grief and sadness, as well as their
fears. They must be reassured that the emotions they are feeling are valid and normal.
Conversations with adults about feelings and concerns should be ongoing.
�� Some children may feel guilty about being alive or OK when a loved one is dead or affected by a
disaster. Children need to be reassured that they had no role in the events, and that there was
nothing that they could have done to prevent them. They need to know that they were not at fault.
�� Answer children�s questions honestly, simply and in age-appropriate ways. Listen to what the child is
really asking.
�� Share your own sadness and grief, but remember that children need the stability and strength that
adults can provide. Keep in mind that children take cues from non-verbal communication as well as
the spoken word.
�� Share memorial preparations with children and allow them to participate as much as they care to.
The reality of the services and the comfort of the rituals can help them heal. However, children who
are afraid to participate in a service or funeral should not be forced to do so.
�� Give children outlets to let go of anger and stress. Sports, hobbies, physical play, and the arts are
good methods for children to cope.
�� Allow children to feel they can have an active role in rebuilding community, whether it is through
making family decisions, helping others, or taking action to prevent future loss through emergency
preparedness.
�� Watch for difficulties such as nightmares, separation anxieties, reversion to babyish behaviors,
withdrawal, and intense anger. Set aside some time to help the child explore her feelings and
thoughts. If a child's grief and anger persist and interfere with daily activities, professional help may
be needed.
�� Avoid a constant diet of television programs focusing on the horror, destruction and sadness of
events. Choose what a child is exposed to carefully and provide an opportunity to discuss what is
seen by the child.
�Program Development: � Girl Scouts of the USA, 2004-2007

Diadel, welcome to the forum, And thank you for the very helpful information you have provided

Thank you. It is going to take me a while to read and learn the ropes here.

I am glad I could help.

Diadel

Diadel, thank you so much for the information you provided. After reading it, I think my husband and I have been doing a lot of what they recommend already.

We haven't heard anything from the Girl Scout leader yet as to when she's planning to have the troop meet again. I've been rather hesitant to ask her for any information, because she may still be dealing with her own grief and may not be ready to start meeting as a troop again.