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Joined: Dec 2007
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I have a couple married friends who are parents, and they have enough difficulty! I just don't understand how a single mom (or dad) could do it and stay sane! I think I would become utterly depressed with no time for myself at all.

I saw this video on You Tube about a little boy who was born with a severe kidney dysfunction and required TONS of care- and his mom is a single mom!

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I raised 4 children and a grandson by myself, by all means it was not easy. I thank God none of them had any medical problems as that child has, what a touching story


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Believe me, it is not easy! crazy I raised my two children myself from the time they were 9 and 6. I thought I would never see any freedom for myself. But, I had made a commitment to those kids when I decided to have them and commit I did. I made my life's schedule to revolve around them, they were my first priority. Of course, I did not lose my friends or my sense of identity or my own interests. I loved bowling with my friends and joined a morning league. I took my son with me and put him in the nursurey there that had wonderful caretakers. When my daughter was born, I still did things for myself, but made sure I was involved in things where my children were welcome and also had fun. It was very tough on me - I was a soccer mom, a little league mom, a dance lessons mom, a girl scout mom, worked in the co-op pre-school I enrolled my kids in and the most fun I had was when I was with my children at the dinner table and early evenings when we relaxed and chatted about our days or I read stories to them.

My son had severe allergies and asthma and eczema and several times I almost lost him. But, faith in God and many, many prayers everyday saved us both. My daughter was in several serious accidents and other issues and again, God and prayer helped us.

Then, suddenly, they had grown up! They were adults and on their own. I had not lost anything of myself, but gained two wonderful, life long friends and some lovely grandchildren as well. grin

You just have to have that inner strength and determination to do the best you can for you and your children. Take very good care of yourself (you will find time for a soak in the tub even if it is 2:00 in the morning) and eat right - so you can give the little ones all that they need from you. smile

When this question comes up, I stop and look back over the years to wonder: was all that hardship, stress, frustration worth it? crazy Would I do it again if I had the chance? Yes, and you bet I would. smile

Last edited by Phyllis, NatAmEd; 06/27/08 07:01 PM.

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Phyllis Doyle Burns
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Wow you both definitely put things in perspective- I guess even if you're a single mom you have time for what's most important to you. I would just be so afraid of not having any time to myself and then resenting my children a little for it... I mean obviously not LITERALLY resenting them, especially if they have health problems, but resenting, to a degree, the lack of control over my own life that would necessarily occur. How do you deal with that?

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Well, I feel if you make a committment to have children, you must realize that this is at least an 18 year ordeal you must cope with. It is natural, I think, to at times feel resentment because your children take up so much of your time. If it gets to the point where it is really affecting your mind in a negative way, then I would suggest some counseling.

If only people could understand, before they have children, the scope and trials ahead, then they could be better prepared for the time it takes to bring these kids to a place where they can be let go and sent out with love and prayers to the world.


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Phyllis Doyle Burns
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A lot of young people do not fully realize the responsilities of raising a child and the long road ahead of them. Babies are cute and precious to hold but they do grow up. The older a child gets, the bigger the problems are. I think people who are considering having a child should take parenting classes. I would love to see a class on the realities of raising children - not just how to change their diapers, but the whole life ahead of them.

Make the time to scout around and find a trusted friend, Auntie, cousin, sibling, neighbor who can take you children once in awhile to give you a break! Having an afternoon or morning to yourself is a wonderful gift for you and your children - because you appreciate each other more when you get back together. An afternoon out or an evening spent with good friends is a treat you deserve once in awhile. Time away from the daily routine is also good for the kids.

My daughter has made it a point to have friends with kids so she can trade babysitting and spend time with her friends for an occasional evening out.

Last edited by Phyllis, NatAmEd; 07/03/08 05:02 PM.

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Phyllis Doyle Burns
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I have spoken to women in their 50's who never had the pleasure of being a parent ...

For me, that would be much harder to live with! In a lot of cases, have a sadness about them!

In the blink of an eye, children are grown up and gone.

Also don't think that because some children have both parents, that both parents take a hand in their upbringing ... you can never tell what goes on in other families ... all you can do is enjoy each moment with your own and their friends!


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