BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Buddhism Go 21 Days Without Whining

I'll say whining in the title so it's clear what we mean You can still speak up if something is wrong. You can still stand up for yourself. The aim here is to stop pointless whining and griping.

You put a bracelet on a wrist, a coin in a pocket, or any other "thing to move". The moving of an object is a critical part of helping you self train.

The goal is to go 21 consecutive days without whining. If you find you have whined, you switch the bracelet (or object) and start again. It takes many people 8 months to achieve this - but it's well worth it! People report being MUCH happier when they focus on goals and family rather than past gripes or future stresses.

See a Complaint Free World -
a Complaint Free World

for more details!

Ok I just whined in my spider post...so I will start at midnight tonight...

Great thought provoking topic Lisa!

OK here's the first bracelet I made. It's a combination of phoenix stone, grassy stone and malachite.





We'll see how long I go before I have to switch it! Only spoken and written words count. Thoughts do NOT count - the idea being that you need some place to sort things out as you practice. Over time as you find more serenity in your life, your thoughts will naturally mirror that.

That is absolutely beautiful, Lisa! what made you think of making one like that?

The Only You part reminds me of the commercials I saw as a child: "Only you can prevent forest fires..."

I am assuming it means only you can change the world/your life/your serenity? Something like that?

Yes actually I did a thread in inspiration I think where I asked everyone what their saying would be, and I said I'd come up with this one for me. In part because of the forest fires But also there's a dance dance song that starts with that which is very cheerful. And also it's a reminder that only I can direct how I feel about things in life and how I react to them.

I already have a carnelian bracelet that I made, which is similar, which I really love. So when I was thinking about this project I thought I should make a few bracelets of my own.

I also made this one with shell and tiger eye -

Jilly if you want I'll make one for you - here are the stones I have -

http://www.lisashea.com/japan/origami/sales/beads/gemstones.html

they're part of my origami supplies. And let me know what you'd like the charm to say, I'm making them out of polymer clay. I love polymer clay

I do have some more of the shell (the pink beads) but not of the phoenix stone or mossy stone, those were a special purchase I made just for this bracelet.

Here's the final one I made, amethyst is my birthstone and "protects against drunkenness". I figured it would be appropriate with me trying not to drink wine right now The black is black onyx, for strength.

I *think* I went all day today without complaining. I had a drinks (water) out with 2 friends and tried very hard not to complain even slightly. I talked with them about the book and how books like these really can help people find new focus in their world. I wore my green bracelet.

Then I brought Bob some pizza, then came home. So after that there really wasn't any talking - but lots of posting.

I really am trying to be aware of what I say and type, to be encouraging and supportive.

I'm not *too* worried about being exact right now. What I mean is I accept the chance that maybe I'll slightly complain, not even think about it and go on with talking without realizing I should have done something. I figure I'll make a "real" mistake in a day or two and have to start again, so I'm more making sure I'm heading in the right direction

I would LOVE one Lisa! I would like mine to say Serenity. I am thinking lapis lazuli for creativity and to ward off depression, with carnelian for spiritual strength and the ability to rise above life's stresses, with onyx for setting goals and priorities. That all sounds like just what I need right now.

Hmmm, can you also add just ONE Larimar stone? That will be my Buddha stone (like as in a mala) to focus on what you wrote, "spiritual clarity, an open mind and a receptive spirit."

Doesn't this sounds exactly perfect for me? I can use it for the non-complaining and also for meditating!

I love the cute little wine glass on your amethyst one, BTW.

well, i am still wearing my band on the same arm, although I am not sure if I complained last night. Dan and I went food shopping really late, at like 10pm, and I said, looking at cookies, "there is nothing here I can eat." [because I am low carb and there were no low carb cookies]

I didn't say it with any particular inflection, but am unclear if this counts as a whine/complaint.

The study on complaining said that it is all about intention. You can say "It is raining today" and have it be praise because you're so happy the rain is watering your garden. You can say "It is raining today" and have it be a curse, that you are so furious that the rain ruined your plans.

So I think if you say honestly "There is nothing here I can eat" that that is a solid statement of fact, and an indication that you need to find something else more appropriate. If anything I think it would be a cause for action - to go find the customer service desk and ask them to bring in some low carb cookies

I *did* complain last night, as I knew I would soon. Not that I sensed complaining in my future, but I am new at this so I am cutting myself slack to make mistakes. We were working on the desk problem. My big heavy desk is blocking an outlet. We plugged the UPS into it thinking that was a great solution, that we would never have to change it once the desk was in place - but forgetting that UPS batteries have a lifespan. Mine died about a month ago. So I've had this dead UPS stuck under my desk and a new UPS next to it (these things are large) and Bob wanted me to empty out the ENTIRE set of shelves and content which I was diligently doing but I was running out of space to even put things. The house was not neat to begin with.

So finally I started grumping about this all and told him to just CUT A HOLE in the back panel of the desk and be done with it. And he didn't want to risk cutting into the wall behind the desk. And I said there was a good 2" clearance and I could manage it myself with the Dremel tool and a tiny blade. And then I said "And I know I'm complaining and I am just not wearing my bracelet for the next hour because this is going to be hopeless right now"

So it was a stressful project but when it got done it is SO SO much better. There is a hole right over the outlet. We can get to it. I reloaded the shelves with only half as many books, so it is much more open and I'm going to review and donate all the other books which really I don't need. The shelves are under less strain. Yes they're solid wood shelves but I had many VERY heavy books on them. So everything is good.

My office is much cleaner! The old UPS is in the trash! Hurrah!

I realize some of this may be complaining about the process so I'm happy to start again from now

It took me a lot of work to get that even remotely wine shaped, so that's about the limits of my shaping talents

OK I'll see what I can do on the bracelet!

I ALMOST complained just now but stopped myself right in mid-speech and changed what i said into something more positive. I was talking about how I at last allowed myself the time to organize my bookmarks on my computer. I almost said 'it was a pain in the a$$ before,' but instead said 'it's nice and neat now'...

so it's working! I guess the point is to have it become automatic?

That is awesome Jilly!! Definitely it is working! You have a fantastic, organized bookmark area now! Great job!

I was feeling grumpy by the time Bob got home because he was out all day playing golf and helping friends with their carpenter ants, and in the meantime only I am cleaning the house and organizing things and such. I want him to spend some time on our projects instead of always out somewhere. So I think I had to move the bracelet six times just when we went out to Walmart because I was feeling frustrated. But we did get some important supplies for the organization process. So that's a good thing.

And really, the book is right. I'm sure Bob just got defensive about my grumpiness so it didn't help anything, me being like that. It just made me unhappy and him unhappy. If instead I had figured out a more encouraging way to get us to spend some time on projects then he would be happy to help, I would be thrilled that projects were getting accomplished and neither of us would have stress damaging our health. So I have to figure that out.

I have been working on being Complaint Free since last November. I've made it to 18 days several times, and last Thursday I made it to the morning of my 21st day - then I had a BF (*** fit). I started over, and actually ended up getting so frustrated at something that I took my bracelet off and shot it across the room like a rubber band HA HA!!! So, now I'm back - Day 2.

Deanna, that is a funny story!

I am still having trouble deciding what a complaint is. Yesterday I made a joke to make DH laugh, but it was by calling our one set of mean neighbors, "meanies." I said just that. They don't even qualify as part-timers. I think they show up once or twice a year to just knock on everyone's door on our little street to yell at us all over various small things. And then we never see them again until next time. It's kinda a funny situation.

I said, "looks like they came in just the one day so far to be insulting to everyone on the street. Meanies."

It was true, and Dan laughed, but I am not sure if this was a complaint.

I haven't read the book you guys are following. Living alone and working mostly from home, I don't think I complain a lot and I'm trying to fix other stuff now. But, I am interested and think it's a great idea.

But, I think "complain" means you want someone to change something, right? Like you complain about a meal because you want someone to a--get you a new one, or b--know about their mistake so they can fix it next time. This is my service industry background view of a complaint. These, I always welcomed so I could have an opportunity to make it right for the customer and to fix whatever was wrong in the system that made it happen.

Or, do you mean "whining" which to me is just generic complaining (with a nasally voice) because you're miserable.

Or, what I think you were doing is "observing" and okay, "opining" (Is that the word for stating an opinion?)

One of my issues with not complaining is that nothing ever gets fixed if nobody says "Hey, there are too many potholes in this road." Again, I didn't read the book, and I'm sure the author didn't mean become complacent.

But, I'm probably wrong and you were supposed to shout with joy "oh, look, the far-away people are back to straighten us all out again! Whoopee!"

Don't you mean, 'whine-shaped'....?

Both of you just made me laugh here - too great!

Hi Jilly,

I wouldn't say that what you said about the "meanies" was a complaint. I think we are either accepting of something (oops, they got my coffee wrong - oh well), we are willing to change something (oops, my coffee is wrong - could you fix that for me) or we whine (egads, you got my coffee wrong again! What's wrong with you people!)

As for your neighbors, it doesn't sound like you can change them, so may as well just have your private joke to make the situation more acceptable.

Just my thoughts

OHHHHH I love the purple one! Purple is my favorite color.

I have been trying so so so hard not to complain in my life. It is really hard. At my new job, there is a lady who started around the same time I did, she finds something wrong in everything around her or finds something to complain about everyday. It is very tiresome working with her and I have to remind myself to breathe deeply and stay relaxed.

Okay as of yesterday i complained for sure, and then again today. Both situations are about my meanie neighbors - they have rented some VERY LOUD construction equipment like sanders, generators, spray painters and this awful crane thing that makes a beeping backup sound every - honest to god - 10-30 seconds. It is DRIVING ME INSANE!!!!!

[SWITCHING BAND EVERY FEW MINUTES HERE FOR THE LAST TWO DAYS]

Deb -

I bet your library has the book, if you want to check it out. It's actually pretty cool. I have a full review of the book in this forum which goes into exactly what they mean by complaining. It is NOT speaking up for yourself. If you have a fly in your soup, you tell them. But you don't whine about it. You say "I have a fly in my soup, please give me a new one for free." You don't say "You stupid jerk, can't you get anything right? Obviously you are an incompetent fool if you can't even see this fly right here."

It's about speaking up proactively for things that need to be changed - and finding a way to be tolerant of things you *cannot* change.

So for an example, they talk about changing a flat tire in the rain. You could spend the time cursing and grumping and being unhappy. The tire won't care - and all it'll do is hurt your own body with the stress hormones and such. So you're actively damaging yourself by doing something that isn't helping anything at all. You can't "stop" the rain.

So instead, you find a way to accept it. Yes, it's raining, yes the tire is flat. You'll change it quickly and then get back into your dry car. So that's the key. Not to be thrilled about it - but to accept it.

With the neighbors, you don't have to love them! But being all grumpy about it is just ruining your own day because of them. Which isn't right. Instead, you find a way to accept it. Maybe you consider that those people must be REALLY miserable in their own lives if all they can do on their one special "vacation day" is go around complaining about it!

I mean, they go up there, a long drive undoubtedly, and once they get there they don't even sit and enjoy their home. They walk around being upset! What kind of personality would do that? How sad must they be all day normally too? They're sitting in their vacation home and all they can focus on is the "problems"?

My suggestion would be that they next time they come over, you treat is as a celebration. The strangers are back! Go over proactively with a plate of cookies and talk about the gorgeous views and happy environment. Get to know them. I bet they feel like strangers and outsiders in "their own home" and that makes an us-vs-them mentality. I bet if they feel more welcomed that they'll be more friendly.

Jeanette - I would bet she is scared and uncomfortable in the new job and this is her way of letting off her inner fears. How about you get a copy of this book and leave it on your desk for a few days and then mention to her that you love the book. Assuming she doesn't comment on it first. Rave about how great it is and suggest that you could lend it to her if she wanted.

Jill -

Time to be proactive. Buy some cookies. Go over and be a friendly neighbor and be nice. Praise their home, their view, their decor. Get to know them. Ask them about the cool construction they're doing. Find out how long they're going to be doing it

hmmmmm, cookies. We have cookies. Everyone likes chocolate chip, right? I will bring them some cookies.

Thanks, Lisa. So, it's "choose your attitude" basically? That I love and agree with. Although, I sometimes have a hard time remembering!

My ex and I used to have "disagreements" about this a lot. He just couldn't see he had a choice about how he reacted if something bothered him. He wanted to get all riled up over everything (mostly external things like other drivers or neighbors or stupid people in general) and that just didn't make sense to me. Plus, I was the receiver of all the venom--he almost never confronted the people he was mad at. And, he couldn't see how his yelling and ranting bothered me!

So, when I had raging PMS and my hormones were choosing nastiness as my reaction, well, you can imagine.

I'll put the book on my list, but really, living alone, I don't get the opportunity to complain much. And, reading your posts here has made me more mindful of when I do.

Cookies are great! I'd love some.

Good idea. I have taken quotes I have found that are realated to optimism. She comments on those sometimes.

Deb - it sounds like a good thing that he is your ex! It's interesting, sometimes people who live alone then complain a lot when they go out because it's their way of getting attention. So I guess it all depends on your personality!

Jeanette - if she's commenting on optimistic quotes that's a good sign. She wants to see things in a better light but is having trouble doing it right now.

These are great ideas, but we must be aware that if someone puts us into a frame of mind, it's only because we have let them do so.
Nobody can choose the way we feel, respond and react, but us.
So when I too was habitually confronted by someone whose constant griping was doing much to undermine general feeling throughout the office, I made sure that every time she said something negative, I responded with something to indicate how positive I felt. Pretty soon, this person literally had nowhere to go, because she could neither demolish my positive reply, nor 'feed off' my good energy, because I never gave her a way in.....

That's an awesome point Alexandra. Negative people often want attention or validation of their complaint. If you keep positive, it defuses their attempts

Now of course if it's a valid complaint I would help them find a positive way to solve the issue

I complained about the heat yesterday. It just fell right out of my mouth with no pre-thought involved!

I whined, "it's soooo hot!"

Then, ooops, so I moved my bracelet.

I keep skimmiung yhis topic - and would love to join in, yet there are so many "tragedies" going on in my life right now - I don't thinkj I could gon10 minutes much less 10 days qithiout complaing.

I would love to get to thgat point of peacen in my famioly - but we have way too many physicalnand psychological problems to work out at thsis timel

I WANT the Buddhidst peace - but it seemes nowhere within my grasp just now.

The universe seemes to bo conspiring against me inthe other direction!!!

Michelle, i think the purpose of the exercise is mainly to increase awareness of what we say. So you may as well put on some kind of bracelet or rubber band and give it a shot. There is no 'failure' here. it's about paying more attention to our speaking patterns/habits.

I have noticed that I am starting to say things like i normally do, and end up stopping, then trying to re-phrase things from the other way of looking at them.

So instead of saying, "darn our poodle's fluffy head looks silly," I said instead, "I think I can get out a scissors tonite and make Maru's head look neater."

I am just *used* to saying things in a complaint-ey way. But I can change this habit. That's what i am working on.

Now, for your situation, you have some serious issues that are ongoing right now. That makes it harder. But you can still at least decide to *notice* how you phrase things. SO instead of, "Our child is never going to be self-sufficient," you can notice what you were going to say and think about how to make it a way to attract better energy into your life.

Then say something like, "I am committed to helping my child find ways to be self-sufficient."

According to the book about complaining, this way you are inviting God/the Universe to send positive solutions your way and that you will have the eyes/mindset/inner wherewithal to notice when they arrive.

Michelle - I definitely agree with Jill here. This is NOT about being in a place of peace and then commenting on and enjoying the peace. It is precisely about being in a place of angst and trouble - and realizing that you can make a difference there. It is probably MORE important to learn to take control in that trouble atmosphere. The way you react to things right now then causes others around you to react too. If you can find a way even to change 1/10th of your comments right now - and phrase things positively - it could have a HUGE ripple effect on the way things go. I really really recommend it and we can do everything in our power to help you out!!

Yep, we are all here for mutual support!

I have to laugh at myself. I went a week at first without complaining and now I can't get through a day. It amuses me. It's like my complaining mode/inner whiner realizes I am "on to it" - it now tries to get me to say things so quickly that I don't even have time to stop them before they fall out of my mouth!

The books talked about setbacks after a bit of success, so I am happy to be noticing my words at least. I had no idea before this just how many negative things I thoughtlessly say.

It's like picking up a penny from the ground. I always pick up pennies. I figure if God is going to send me free money, it would be rude to turn it down because the amount is too small.

So to bring this together, I also figure that if I can say more positive than negative things that I am saying to God, "yes, i am open to good things happening to me and will be better at noticing them when do they show up."

How cool, Jilly.

I always pick up pennies,too. Once, I had just started a new job (well, a few months before) and went out to lunch with some coworkers and the boss. We were leaving the restaurant and I bent over and picked up a dime from the parking lot and my boss who is a few steps ahead of me turns around as I'm standing back up and asks "Deborah, did you just pick up something?"

I said, "Um, yep, it was a dime," a bit embarrassed at having been caught at it. "Is that terrible?" I asked. He said "Not at all, I'm just surprised that I walked over money." Meaning, he usually picks up money, too. I was so relieved! LOL--it was funny, but you know, you just never know what people think.

I've seen people drop change before & act as if it's just not worth the bother to pick it up. Money is money to me. And, I do get a little "happy" when I find some. It's a gift from heaven.

There is an adage that states:
keep your friends close.
Keep your enemies closer.

This can mean many things but one of the essential lessons is that, by keeping our enemies close, we are less likely to be seduced by all things placid, peaceful and positive.
'Keeping our enemies closer' enables us to stay on our toes, be ever mindful, watchful and aware.

So although we are all mutually supportive - and this IS of primary importance - it's only by permitting yourself to observe attentively, the crud you are living in, that you really learn to build up resilience, discernment and Compasssion. Both for yourself, and others who might be experiencing similar things.
Michelle, I have known wonderful times of great peace, laughter, joy and happiness. I have known Life on an even and buoyant keel.
But I have also known depths of utter despair, bleakness, loneliness and seeminly endless misery....
And much as I felt uncomfortable in the depths of my suffering, were I able now to change any of it, I wouldn't alter a single second. Not a one.
because it was during those times that my Parctice and devotiuon to my path were tested to their limit.
And I never found The Buddha, the Dhamma or the Sangha wanting, in any way.
They proved themselves to be my rock, my fortitude and my constant.
It is only by applying ourselves in the worst of times, that we can really appreciate, unclinging, the best of times.

I hope you manage to exercise fortitude, stoicism and resilience. I hope your troubles fade and disappear very soon.
With much Metta and Karuna to you.

It's funny how we all think about things differently - when I find pennies and things lying on the ground, I move them to somewhere easier to get to. So for example we were on a midnight run at WalMart for something and there was a penny in the aisle, so I picked it up and put it on a nearby counter so that someone else could get to it more easily. I think of it as seeding the world with easier to get to wealth

okay i did not complain yesterday. So this is day 2.

Jilly - good for you for starting over!

Alexandra - thanks for your post, it made me remember a story from a few years back that basically said things grow in the valley where it is dark, not on the mountaintop where it is bright - I had forgotten that until I read your post.

It is still very hard. I'm trying to find a balance right now. Where does counseling leave off and complaining start? (Our family is in real counseling - not just the therapy I get from talking to you guys here, LOL!)

These past few weeks have seemed very dark. Reading other's posts has helped to remind me to look ahead for the light instead of getting lost in my own misery. Just wish I didn't forget so much!

Michelle - it all comes down to the intention.

It would be unhelpful if I said "Bob was a real jerk today. I wanted to strangle him."

It would be helpful if I said "I was frustrated when Bob left dirty dishes on the coffee table. It makes me feel like a maid. How can I help him to remember to put them in the kitchen?"

You have a goal in mind when you voice a "problem". The key is to voice it in a "this is my issue and the solution I want to reach". You want to avoid voicing it as "this person is flawed! Let's all poke at the flaw!"

Poke, poke... [owww! Stop poking!]

I was seriously complaining for about two weeks for some reason. I think i have gotten some of it out of my system and am being better at changing what I say, or not saying things (just thinking them).

I realized a lot of my personal sense of humor is wrapped up in being derogatory about my life. I am trying to develop a new sense of humor. I am trying to be more like Willow on Buffy. She's funny but finds a sweet way to word things.

Michelle, we are all here with you as you go through this. You are not alone.

I think a lot of people grow up learning to put themselves down for all sorts of reasons. Sometimes it's because others put them down and they can sort of "preemptively strike" by doing it first.

One of the self-help books I was reading recently - I don't remember which ones - talked about how the author was feeling depressed at a school dance. One of the guys he was sitting with was talking about it being hard to go over and talk with the girls. The author said "well at least you've got a chance - I'm fat and ugly. Nobody would ever dance with me. I'll end up alone". Suddenly all the guys were being sympathetic and understanding and such, taking pity on him. So he got "social acceptance" by putting himself down.

I know a lot of smart people who put themselves down so that others feel less threatened by them.

In a way it's a shame we can't all be proud of our strengths and be happy for other people. With all the trouble in the world, why should we add to it by putting ourselves down even in a "joking" way ...

I am very proud of YOU Jilly!! You are an awesome person

Thank you so much Lisa! I am honored.

The book with that anecdote is the World Without Complaining one - i remember seeing it there.

Also, am on day 3.

Congratulations!! That is so great!!

I am still on day 1 but I am becoming much more aware of what I say

Day 5

Back to Day 1.

Are you incorporating the Four Noble Truths, the Noble Eightfold Path and the Five Precepts as prmary practice, Jilly?
How are they working for you?

Hello, I'm new around here and your original post caught my eye. I'm going to try this challenge and go 21 days without whining, starting now.

Pleased to meet you all!

Alexandra i am taking baby steps. So trying to have all of those in my brain at once is a lot.

Just trying to be mindful of complaining.

Hi Jan! Good luck!

Also, for me, Day Two.

"Mindful" is the operative word, Jilly. That one skill wraps the Four the Eight and the Five into one single virtue. Mindfulness.

Good on you!

Mindfulness in everyday living is something to be practised from moment to moment. The Four Noble Truths need careful consideration, because of course, our experience of suffering, or unsatisfactoriness, may not be the experience of the person next to us. And even though similar situations may arise, day to day, hour by hour, moment, by moment, our evaluation or View (understanding) of them, also alters fractionally, according to circumstance.
"Whining" has its place. Sometimes it can be therapeutic and beneficial. providing it is done Mindfully (We've been over this, I'm elaborating to assist Jan....)
The Four Noble Truths indicate that Life is Unsatisfactory; They are thus, because we grasp at, and cling to an intended or desired ideal which cannot be attained due to impermanence; That there is a way out of this cyclical desire, grasping and unsatisfactoriness; that this 'way out' is known as the Eightfold Path. Right - View, Intention, Speech, Action, Livelihood, Effort, Awareness, Meditation (Concentration). The Five precepts are signposts or guidelines furhter designed to guide us in our daily intentions:
To not:
Kill; Steal; be inappropriate in our sexual behaviour; speak dishonestly; imbibe or ingest intoxicating substances.

The Four, the Eight and the Five, can thus be practised all in conjunction with one another by Simplifying, and being Mindful.

We can do nothing to change what others may think, say or do: that is for them to wilfully engage in. We can only look to ourselves and to address our own Thoughts, Words and Deeds, and channel them accordingly. Maybe that will be an influence upon others. if that is so, all well and good. We can guide and instruct, and demonstrate that which we practice. but the change of Mind and Heart in others, must come from them.
Hope this helps, Jan.
Any questions about anything, feel free to ask us!

The idea of "mindfulness" reminds me of of the threads where we set our priorities, then set our goals afterwards.

Mindfulness is the first step in not whining, because we can't make changes to something that we are not aware of doing.

So, I'm not yet to the no whining stage , but I am trying to be more aware of when and why I am doing it - and what I can do instead for next time.

I hope that by making these changes, one day I'll GET to the no whining stage!

I was on day 2 but I just whined at the grocery man. Tut! Tut! Back to Day 1. It sounds so easy to do this but it's not.

Today is quite warm, and I wanted to mention to DH that it's hotter than usual upstairs. So i was able to for once say, "it's hotter than usual upstairs," to him, instead of "MAN, it's hot up there!"...which is my usual knee-jerk reaction.

A big difference. It may seem like a small thing, but with the first scenario i don't have to move my bracelet. :-)

Day 3.

I don't see any difference.....

They're both acknowledgments that it's hot upstairs, except that one is a comment, and the other is an exclamation.
How is one or the other, not Right Speech?

That may just be the difference between how Americans and Britains talk - because I got the difference right away.

And I know several times here on the web we've had some confusion over whether something was said sarcastically or "mean" - just because people in Europe and people in America tend to phrase things differently.

It's a lot easier to figure out when we're talking face to face - but reading over the net gets tricky!

Yes exactly. The difference is in how you feel, if you in essence feel at peace with the situation or if you feel angry about the situation

I am definitely becoming much more aware about how I feel and express myself! I think this is a wonderful exercise and very helpful.

I will count myself on day 1 - I am pretty sure I complained yesterday but I've not been keeping careful track. I'm happy to start August as a fresh start!

I will also start again today, as my trip to see my family put me back in my usual speaking patterns.

Yes, I get that, but how is one defined as "whining", and the other one not?
They're both comments or observations about the heat. There's no complaint as such...
Now if Jilly had said:
"For goodness' sake, why does it have to be so hot up here? I'm frying!" I could understand....
(And I still wouldn't categorise that as 'whining' strictly speaking.....)

I categorise whining as apportioning blame onto someone or something, when in actual fact it's nothing of the kind.....

I am trying to do this myself. It is an interesting excercise. However I just broke it on day 1, within a couple hours of beginning. I decided last night to start today, and all it took was me getting to work and checking the answering machine.

Needless to say, a client thoght her appointment was 30 minutes after what it was to begin, and right out of my mouth to my boss was "why can't they respect us by keeping their appointments when we repeat constantly the time and give them a stupid card".

We shall see how I do for the rest of my day at work since this is going to be one very stressful day. Instead of whinning that i will not be able to have a lunch, I was mindful and went downstairs to the tea room and ordered a lunch to be delivered in between my two sets of parties today so that I could actually nibble on it when I had the time. So it's a good first step.

I'm gonna spin a tpoic off of this one so we can see what makes us lose it the most...

Find enlightenment, and you'll never believe in a drama again. You think it is easier said than done, but enlightenment is available to everyone.

The thing is: each time i write on a forum that i'm enlightened, most people think it is impossible to have such a person write on a forum. Well, my karma is to be born in this era, and to teach awakening and enlightenment to whoever wish to.

When you are asleep, you think that your dreams are true. When you awaken, you know your dreams were illusions because now, you have a good grasp of what is reality. It is the same with spiritual awakening. Once awakened, you do not believe anymore in the dreams of drama. Awakening will get you rid of any type of suffering.

An enlightened person never mentions their enlightenment. It comes out in their skilful communication.
Advertising isn't on the agenda.
Or shouldn't be.

If you still have kamma, then you are not enlightened, because your kamma wopuld be ripened, and you wouldn't have had it bring you here.
Kamma isn't a thing, or a vehicle. It's a process that has to ripen and be eliminated.
Once it is all eliminated, then you're enlightened.
if you still had kamma to bring you ehre - you're still on the path, and in samsara.

When I'm asleep, I am aware I am dreaming, and I know my dreams are illusory.
There is no grasp of reality, because even 'reality' is illusory.

Dual thinking.
very samsaric

nice to meet you.
How are you, by the way?

Karma is the effect of posing an action. You seem to define karma as a punishment for your sins, or as a consequences to wrong doing. Karma is not consequence, but effect.

The sanskrit word "karma" is the verb or object "action". Simpe as that. Karma is the effect of your actions. It does not imply punishment nor sin, nor ill effect. While i have a body, i am subject to karma, even in a state of enlightenment. This is so described by the Buddha himself, and by many enlightened masters.

Karma is not negative. It is simply what it is. When one purifies his past karma, nothing will happen again because of his own past actions, but still, karma remains, as every new action brings a new reaction. Karma is not evil. It is the law of nature.

It is recommended to have compassion towards the notion of evolution, and the mechanisms implicated. Be at peace.