BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development What Are Your Priorities?

In the process of goal setting, it is always key to start with your priorities. If you set a random goal of "get a new job" - but never thought about your priorities, you might end up with a new job that is really awful for you. If you make a wish list for things like "new TV" and "new stereo" you might get them - and realize that what you really wanted was more quality time with your family.

So let's brainstorm about priorities! It's always good to start with a calm center - we talk about that here -

Finding a Calm Center

If you start planning from a calm center, you have a better chance of finding priorities that really are best for you long term and not quick-escape ideas.

So - sit down with a glass of wine, a calm center, a moment of peace. Think about your life 5 years from now. What would be most important about that life? What are your overreaching priorities? Not specific things like "working at xxxx" but more general priorities about how you would like things to be?

I'll start! Again, this is about priorities. Specific goals will come later, once we talk about our priorities

It is a very important priority to me to help others. I have a number of ways in which I like to do it (the goals) but the underlying priority is that I like to help others.

To be more specific, I like to enable others to help themselves. I like to provide the training, support and environment for people to achieve their dreams.

Health is very important to me. When I was younger I never understood the sayings about "your health is everything". Now that I'm older I really do feel it is true. It is so important to be healthy.

I also want to be ... "serene" is the best word I can think of. I'm not worried about where I live, or what we live in, or what I have. I want to be content, relaxed and calm.

What are your priorities in life, for the next five years?

I love what you have said about priorities vs goals. I have been doing some self-analyzing lately, in my head/heart and in my reading. Reading a couple of Jennifer Louden's Comfort Queen books, Elizabeth Gilbert's Eat, Pray, Love and some of Susan Wittig Albert's journaling and women's enrichment titles. Within that exploration, I am beginning to both reach my center of calm more easily. I am a late starter to this, being in my mid-50's, but some of my priorities are obvious and typical (health, comfortable income) others a bit more bizarre and more goal-like (learn to play the drums, get my novel written)... Bella has been a marvelous place for promoting growth, self-understanding and enlightenment. Thanks!

I think a comfortable income is a goal we all want to aim for! In terms of priorities, what would that goal enable you to do? Do you want to travel more? To stop working completely? To spend more time with your pets? What would that enable you to achieve?

I say my priorities are God, husband, kids, work. But the way I use my time doesn't quite reflect those priorities accurately. So I need to re-order my time to make my actions reflect my priorities.

Getting rid of our debt and making ends meet has now become a top goal because it's a priority for us to have me homeschool and work from home. To that end, my income needs to increase.

So, I now get up at 5 a.m. and work until about 9 a.m. My husband is re-doing our office so I will have a desk with my stuff ready to go. Before, the thought of getting up at 5 a.m. would've made me break out in hives. Now, I love it. I feel so productive, even before anyone else gets out of bed.

I mentioned in another thread about how I've been getting rid of dread. I realized most of my dread was focused on things that take me away from my priorities--because I felt like a failure for not taking care of my priorities. I had some weird delusion that those things "had to be done" and were compelling enough to take me away from my priorities.

Part of getting rid of the dread was realizing that those things are NOT necessary and getting rid of them. If you focus on priorities, you have to make tough decisions to let things go. But you feel freer to do so if your justification is PRIORITIES. You don't care as much what doesn't get done or what people think. You are living by your priorities and fulfilling your goals.

So my priorities are:
--more time in spiritual search and reflection, at least 1/2 hour a day
--more focus on my husband, which initially is simple things like having more of his favorite meals, more time alone
--focusing on the kids and doing a better job of listening, saying "yes" when I can, and not reacting to everything as though they need to be corrected and re-directed
--taking my income potential (and myself as an entrepreneur) more seriously and having regular work hours from 5 a.m. to 8 a.m., a full week of 40+ hours once a month (When someone asks what I do, I now say "I do marketing work from home")

Power to all of you to make your reality reflect your priorities!

:-) Cate

Ok, priorities... This is hard for me because my ADD seems to bring me a new priority every week!

But, most of the time they center around:
Be self-sufficient. Be strong. Be at home as much as possible (and conversely) have time to travel as much as possible (I guess I just don't like being stuck in my office -- as nice as it is.) Live without regrets. Help others. Ensure that future generations have the opportunities I had. Leave a legacy that my family can be proud of.

More specifically, these priorities include (this week):
--Getting our websites up, running and making money
--making more time to really dig into my bella topic
--writting my classes/syllabi written for next year, and not have to do so much work during the school year
--working on the various books and plays that I have in various stages of half-finished-ness
--helping my parent's business
--more vacations with my hubby and our cats
--starting a theatre company.... but not before next summer...

I'm pretty sure these priorities won't change much for the next year or so... Maybe by then I'll learn to say "No" without adding an, "ok" after it.... But I think that goes in the "goals" topic.

Well, for me, on a very limited income due to health concerns, creating a "Comfortable income" means enough money for food and bills, not luxuries like travel and such! I am not trying for income increases for time related activities, per se, although I would like to generate enough self-created (self-employment) income to not have to work outside the home...Hmmm. I guess what I am saying is I want enough money to not have to have the specter of government assistance (except for our social security check!) looming over my head! I want to enjoy a family-centered life, with time for crafts, gardening, grandsons, movies, reading, writing (but NOT arithmetic!)and that kind of thing. Sorry, I seem to be rambling as I think "out loud!"

My priorities are:

More time in spiritual reflection (thanks Cate - I love how you worded that )

Getting in great physical condition. Get my food allergies under control, loose weight and get back into a regular exercise routine.

Nurture my relationship with my husband and children.

Helping others. I enjoy helping others along their spiritual path, and really feel that it is my calling.

My priorities over the next 5 years are I would like my health issues sorted out. I would like to quit my current job and be able to work from home full time and maybe persue a writing career more seriously.

Paying the bills and really being on top of them. I have this dream we will move house again but I don't know how long that will take. It seems unlikely now, but I keep on dreaming and trying to get on top of our finances.

I would like to know the difference between when I should be helping others, and when I should be helping myself, because I seem to do more of the former when I should be doing more of the latter.

Although I could never stop trying to help people I just want to strike a better balance.

I'm sure there are more, but those are the main priorities.

I've spent a lot of time since my near-death experience in October thinking about priorities. I've realized I had a strong tendency to put everyone else's needs before my own.

My top priority at all times now is placing my own needs, especially my health, mental well being and time, above the needs of others. After all, how can I help improve the lives of others if I'm not first taking care of myself and living by positive example.

One of my greatest sources of support is my husband. We just celebrated our 8th anniversary. He definitely comes in as my second priority. The love and support he offers me at all times is a joy to reciprocate.

Everything and everyone else falls somewhere below these top two.

This reprioritizing has created a some ill feelings among my friends and family. No one likes to lose their top spot for something lower. But, I clearly discovered who the takers are in my life and now I decide when to give. It's very freeing.

Gregory