BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Pagan Coming Out Pagan

Hello Folks,

Here is my latest article on coming out as a Pagan. Personally, I don't think we all have to come out if that isn't our thing. Do you agree or disagree? Should we all be "out and proud" for the greater good of Paganism?

Coming Out Pagan

Although I can see the point of coming out in order to show solidarity with those experiencing discrimination, and of course just to make life easier, I do see a danger in doing it as well.
What puts me off is this; In order to declare your religion, you have to label it, and be grouped with others under the same label. Dominant 'spokespeople' can easily attain the status of religious leaders, thus creating a hierarchical structure which in my view is the major downfall of many world religions. Less a case of unite and conquer than unite and form a monster.

Just a thought,

Trish, that is a good article. When one announces their beliefs, they must be prepared for confrontations from others due to misunderstanding, lack of knowledge or misconceptions. There is still a lot of ignorance in the world regarding Paganism and other beliefs that are not common to the general public. When I tell people what my religion and beliefs are I always face some sort of blockage or confrontation, which is ok because I know how to deal with it. But, for those who are not able to deal with confrontation or criticism, caution is always wise. It depends on how you choose to "come out" - if you announce to the world then make sure you are ready for possible attacks. If you choose to tell only a few trusted friends this would give you time to gain the confirmation and confidence within yourself of your beliefs. There is always the time in one's life when one reaches the stage of "this is who I am, this is what I believe and I am ok with this, regardless of what others may think."

I think coming out is as much a personal decision as being Pagan, in the first place.

There are still many places where, while it might not be physically dangerous to declare yourself Pagan, it could be still make life very difficult. Pagans can be "between a rock and a hard place" on this topic. While we would all love to see true equality, which can only be gained when the non-Pagan world sees us for what we truly are, there is so much misinformation around that some are afraid of us. And you know how people react to things they are afraid of. Unfortunately some of the fear and misinformation is kept alive purposely by some fundamentalist groups.

Ultimately it must be an individual decision. The only advice I have found to be valid is make sure the people who you are coming out to know you well enough to know you're not crazy or dangerous. That tends to give you a little more credibility, and as Trish says in her article, know your stuff, have rational answers ready for the inevitable questions. I certainly wouldn't come out your first week at a new job, just my opinion.

I believe that if one can it is best to keep a lid on one's beliefs. Don't subject yourself to undue persecution. People like me, however, are just tired of trying to "hide". I am older, been through countless wars with the church and numerous people that just want it their way. I do not have a way. I want peace but there are too many in this would who destroy just to have their way. I have lost my fear of death so what do I have to loose? If they off me I just become more numerous and powerful. Until you really know the risks and have empowered yourself keep it light.

Thank you for your input folks. You all made wonderful points. I was hoping not to come off as paranoid in the article. I just wanted to impress upon newer Pagans the reality of the situation.

Marianne - I agree that this type of hierarchy is what disconnects people from religion and brings it down. I'm comfortable having good role models of different Pagan faiths living their own lives instead of trying to pigeon hole us into one big family.

Phyllis, Helen, and Ancientflaxman - Exactly, you don't have to come out but you should be ready for the misconceptions and downright prejudice when you do. I'm not flamboyantly out but if my employer were to Google my name then voila - I'm outed. I don't think it will be a problem, but it is in the back of my mind.

I also don't lie to family about who I am. We just reached the point where we don't talk about religion. Pagans need to be prepared that a "live and let live" atmosphere may be the best they can hope for with family.

It's interesting that I just followed up on a similar thread in another forum... I enjoyed your article, Trish, and agree that it encourages a conservative viewpoint. It's important for each person, especially young people, to do some soul-searching before making such an important decision.

That being said, I consider myself out, but private. Being open is very important to me, and I sometimes find myself encouraging others to follow my "example." However, I understand that many cannot, in good conscience, participate in a public Pagan community.

I understand your stance, Marianne, but I think there's another edge to that sword. Remaining in the closet (or in a very private state) allows others to make public declarations about Pagans, Paganism, etc, without moderation. (I think of it along the lines of smart people not wanting to talk to the press after a disaster, so the guy on tv is always uneducated and ridiculous. "I saw the Jenkins' house fly overhead, and all I could think was, 'Carolyn still has my casserole dish!'" We're all groaning and shaking our heads, thinking, "How can this person be representing us," but unless someone else steps up, that's all there is.)

It's true, Trish, that there is a lot of yuk out there that Pagans who are out have to deal with. But I also believe that the Divine strengthens us when we follow our hearts into uncomfortable territory.

What it comes down to is the choice between freedom and security. You can't have both, and each comes with its own set of sacrifices.

Thank you for sharing your article. It's refreshing to see a little guidance for those who are considering coming out, rather than a "keep silent" mantra.

Anda

You are so right, Helen. People react strangely when they face fear. Beliefs, rituals and practices that are different from the "norm" (that which is well known) tend to attract more attention, cause fear (of the unkown) and therefore hostility, ridicule and criticism. Paganism has been around and active since before Christianaity. In the third century, Constantine, Roman Emperor, was a Sun Worshipper and followed the path of the Pagan in his beliefs. When pressure was put on to accept and acknowledge Christianity, Constantine decreed December 25 as Christmas day. He did this because December 25 was the Sun cults birthday of the Sun at Winter Solstice. Therefore, he turned the Pagan ritual into a Christian holiday so he could worship the Sun in secrecy.

I am not renouncing Christianity, for that is how I was raised, but I have a strong bond and connection to Native American beliefs, many of which are similar to Pagan and Christianity both. Shamanism is very much a part of the Native American Spiritual Leaders and medicine men and women's ceremonies. Constantine was a very superstitious person and rather than face attack or riducule stemming from fear, he tried to make it right for everyone, for all faiths, so that none would turn against him.