BellaOnline Forums Health and Fitness Miscarriage Just needing to talk

Hello.

I am very new here, but I really need an ear or 2. I try to talk to ppl about my feelings but they seem to brush them under the rug as if I should be past my emotions.

I had my 6th miscarriage may 19th 2006. The 2 yr angelversary is comingh up and with Mothers Day and my own Bday right here, it just becomes too much to handle.

I have had numerous losses, and every single child was very dear to me, but this past child, just struck my core. I was 10 weeks along, I had found out 1 week before I lost him/her. What makes it even harder is that, right after my DnC my husband had a vasectomy without my consent.

SO I have drilled in my head that this was my last chance to carry a child and I must have done something wrong and that is why I lost it.......I call the baby Sage.......It makes me feel better then calling it.."IT".

I really dont know what I am looking for advise wise.....I just need to talk

Thanks for listening

I Am very sorry for you loses, and im lost for words
Sage is a very nice name. I know how hard birthdays n holidays can be. i lost a daughter who was just 3 hours old and a son who was killed at 13yrs old. I feel your pain
Don't blame your self, you did nothing wrong, you have a heart full of love, and a baby named Sage that you will carry in your heart for ever.

Oh Trish, I am so sorry! What a terrible loss. Poor little Sage. If there is an afterlife, he is in a better place than here, I am sure.

Never let anyone bury your feelings or push them aside with this. It's a true loss and you deserve time to grieve, however long it takes or however you choose to do it.

With 6 miscarriages and no further chance of a child (as you indicated) I really think you might want to seek some grief counseling. It will probably be very hard to move forward from this on your own. Find a grief expert who can help you through this, and help you decide if you have a next step, or how to come to a resolution with things.

I feel for you - big hug!!!!

Trish- I am so sorry for the pain and loss that you have been through. I miscarried twins this year and I know firsthand the pain of trying to reach out to express yourself to people and they can not handle it. It is not thier fault it is just where they are in life/ who they are. I was dumbfounded at how emotionally unavailable my BEST friend was the day after my miscarriage. She called the me the day after to talk about her latest love saga for 15 minutes before she could manage a hey how are you? Grief and the stages of it are a process and it takes a lot of time to work through them. I was really hung up on the anger stage- sometimes some counseling helps.

Hello, Trish. How are you? I hope you've found a little solace. I'm praying for you and your family. Let us know how you are, ok?

Hi Trish!
I have lost four babies myself and I know the pain that carries on with you day after day. I stll do not have any children. People say that it gets better, but it really doesn't. It bothers me to hear advice from people who have not been through it themselves. My birthday just passed, and it was so difficult. I am not sure what it is with birthdays and holidays that makes it that much harder. I am not sure what the relationship with you and your husband is like and if he understands, but I have found myself not being able to carry on a healthy relationship after my miscarriages. I just got out of a relationship with the father of my last miscarried baby. He has two kids of his own and I don't think he could understand the pain I feel of not having any of my own and potentially not being able to have any of my own. Well, I just wanted to let you know know that you are not alone out there. Write me if you can.

Trish,
I miscarried three times. It hurts so much, not just physically but emotionally.

Is there a support group for women who have suffered miscarriages near you? Check with your doctor's office or a nearby hospital.

Don't hesitate to get counseling. You are grievng and suffering.

Trish I am so sorry. That is heartbreaking.

I just wanted to say hi and hope all is well. I am new to Bellaonline and I am going through the same issues. It doesn't get easier but you have to be strong and be well. It will take time but there is nothing you can do except work on you. If by chance you do get pregnant again and carry full term you may be too deep into a depression to get out by just having a baby. I have had three miscarriages and am scared to death to have another one. What I am not willing to do is lose the people I do have around me. One thing I have done is priortize my life and the people I wish to share my time with. I hope talking to others helps you, as it has for me. I am so sorry for your loss and never give up.