BellaOnline Forums Family Child Abuse Is Belt Spanking Abuse?

Wow, Lisa, that is amazing. I have the same story. One day i was simply too big to just take it and looked like i was going to fight back. Right after that, groundings became punishment.

I admit the spankings were a lot easier than the groundings.

My DH says his step father used to beat him 10-25 times at a time with his belt. That is abuse in my book. He also got hit at school with paddles. Quite a bit.

In many cultures children are treated as treasured, important parts of the family and are never hit. The children tend to thrive in this environment and behave well.

If you've put a child into a situation where you had to hit them, often it is because you expected an unreasonable decision from a child who was not yet ready to make that kind of decision.

Any form of violent physical contact designed or intended to subjugate or bend another person's will to your own - is abuse. Even a smack on the back of the hand.
period.
No more, no less.

I agree,Alexandra
Hitting a child or adult with a belt, or any other object is assault, and abuse

I was belted by my father up till about 8 years and to this day I will go over to an adult hitting a child in public and stare at them till they stop, sometimes with tears in my eyes.

Like when people expect a baby to be toilet trained before they are ready. It's futile to punish a child for being unable to perform a task that they are simply too immature to master.

It's not only abuse, it's not effective. Belts can seriously injure a child.

I was occasionally spanked as a child. My dh asked what I had done. I have NO idea -- told him my folks probably were having a bad day. He thought that was hilarious, even though I was serious. When he told my folks this (thinking they would find it funny, too) -- they nodded and said I was probably right.

Spanking, whipping, etc. tends to cause children to be sneakier, harbor resentment and so forth. There are MUCH better ways to discipline a child than hitting him or her.

I suspect that the more restrictive and controlling a parent is, the more "difficulties" they will have raising their child. Obviously, we can't give a very young child complete say over all aspects of their life -- but as they get older, they need to learn that they ARE to be in control of themselves, and if the parent is always telling them "to this or else!" -- they learn the wrong lessons. If the parents, instead, enlist their child as a partner, the child grows up feeling respected, and respectful.

I remember my mother saying "wait until your father gets home", but I don't remember my father ever hitting.

I also remember my mom pulling her arm back to hit my rear end once. I waited for the painful blow, wincing with fear, and got a little tap. When I asked her what happened she said she couldn't do it because she was too mad. She believed that abuse was when you hit in anger. I was about five when she explained this to me. So I learned two lessons. One, whatever I did made her really mad; I should never do it again. Two, anger should not be displayed physically. My mother promised to punish me when she calmed down.

Hitting with a belt means that time has elapsed from the action, so the anger had time to settle. Go pick your weapon that I will hit you with cruel and manipulative.

Any form of physical "punishment" is abuse. You can punish a child for wrong-doing by taking away privileges. I see no reason whatsoever to physically hurt a child to make your point.

Hands/belts/hairbrushes/branches/spatula's/paddles/etc more than I can possible remember all were used as forms of punishment in our household. And to be honest I can't tell you what I did any single one of those times, I do however remember - in great detail the punishments themselves. Seems to be counteruntive to be left with the memory of the violence over the lesson.