BellaOnline Forums Food and Wine Etiquette Do You Send Thank-You Notes?

It's nice to be nice.

I rush to my computer and crank out a personally designed "thank you" card made with the help of my card software. Sometimes I insert a jpg of my own art, depending on who I'm sending the note to. I know how much I appreciate a "thank you" card so that's why I get one out as soon as I receive a gift or have been invited to dinner.

I recently gave $100 to a young woman who is distantly related to my husband, that I met once when she was a little girl. She graduated from college. I was surprised when 2 MONTHS went by and no "thank you" note came. I dropped some hints to the family that I was disappointed. Finally a brief note came saying, "Thanks for the money," and that's it. So I think timing is important as well as sentiment. Although I will say I felt somewhat better about her having gotten a letter, late as it was.

I admit that I do, indeed, sent thank you notes. I can honestly say that this has nothing to do with being an etiquette editor. I send thank you notes because first, I am a writer and second I truly love receiving physical, hold-in-your-hand, notes. Why wouldn't I want to make sure that someone who's done something considerate for me receive that same joy when they get their mail?
The thank you note was addressed in one of my correspondence articles, www.bellaonline.com/site/etiquette, questioning its demise.
The physical writing, addressing and stamping can seem daunting to one who opts out of the thank you note arena. But the rewards are huge when you follow through on your good intentions.
Note writing is something I have enforced with my children and the rewards have been numerous in recent years. Where before it was an annoying task that Mom insisted upon, now my children have found the groove of writing with a grateful heart and realizing how much joy the receipient receives when they collect their otherwise bill-infested mail.

I think that it is the epitome of ettiquette to send thank you notes. If one receives a gift or other sediment that should be good enough to send a note.

Plus the receiver will feel a great feeling of recognition when they receive a note.

It is contagious once a person recieves one they will in turn send one!

Mary Caliendo
Tea Editor

I do send thank you notes...I just think it is from my mom pounding it into my head when I was younger, if someone gives you a gift or helps you out you should send a thank you...

conniem, I too think that it is from the pounding of my parents too!

It is an old fashioned thing, and the younger set does not do things like this- I hope I single-handedly keep it going!

While I do my e-mail,twitter, and other social networks-the person to person communication needs to continue!

Ialways tell my twitter friends to mail a card,note,or letter to gramma as you're on twitter but gramma aint!

Mary Caliendo
Tea Editor

My son is probably tired of sending thank yous, but I hopefully have pounded that into his head as well! I do get them occasionally from one of my daughters so my magic worked on her!

Love it, your gramma ain't on twitter!

Most people in my family still send thank you notes. I think it is a very thoughtful thing to do. However, with the cost of cards now and such a large family, we often make our own from our own art ideas (scrapbooking supples).

Hey Phyllis, I love to make homemade cards! We also have a large family and to purchase b-day cards is a large expense. My daughter and I have been making all the "kid" b-day cards, and we attended a card making class and did make several thank you cards. They turned out beautiful!
And we had so much fun!

P.S. Not only is gramma not on twitter, social networks, or e-mail many over the age of 40 are not, this also saves a postal worker's job too, as you not only ressurect the timeless art form of written communication!

Mary Caliendo
Tea Editor

Its wonderful to know there are still appreciative receivers out there who want to let the deliverer's know that first a gift was received and second that it was appreciated.

We recently attended a dinner party. After sending out a thank you note which included my acknowledgement of their planning, cleaning and prep which go into hosting a party, the hostess called thanking me for the thank you. She was so appreciative of the fact that I let her know how much fun we had but also how much work it was for her.

We have friends who lament the fact that they are rarely invited to people's homes. I'm not outspoken enough to point out that they are the ones who show up late (and empty handed), leave without disposing of their own plates (to say nothing of assisting in other ways) and never acknowledge to the host(ess) the fun they had. Few people would want someone who does nothing to display their gratitude to return.