Hi Casey,
I'm just going to write what comes to mind... I just joined this group and consider it was Godidenced... I began seeking to find a 12-step line about being doomed to perpetual ignorance... didn't want to misquote it. Realize I'm not stuck in perpetual ignorance but the very fact that I've been 'stuck' and now realize most of my being 'stuck' is my 'automatic thoughts'. How much of my automatic thoughts would line up under 'Stink'n Think'n' and how much aligns with rational beliefs? The thoughts that would make me feel shame or guilt when another person I love has not sought help and I tend to try to help them and wind up hurting myself. My Higher Power is God and I believe I needed to be jerked up short about how alcoholism is still working and that I do suffer from the effects of alcoholism. I can get help for myself and I can avoid misery. Instead of saying pain is necessary misery is optional, I now say increase pleasure, decrease pain. How? Getting support that identifies the problem focuses on solutions, and fosters serenity, peace, and an opportunity to increase pleasure and decrease pain.
Reading your share gave me reminded me of the time many years ago when I called and asked, "How can I help my daughter without becoming part of a trauma drama?" My daughter had finally gone to DIVIS for help. I didn't just want to try to 'fix' something, I wanted to know how to really help ... The answer I got wasn't a shock. I was asked 2 questions: 1) what are you doing to take care of yourself? 2) Do you know about Al Anon? I�d been to Codependence Anonymous meetings and knew I had some basic guidelines to guide me� I needed Al Anon. The people in Al Anon helped me and added to my perspective about how far reaching alcoholism is and how harmful to everyone in a family for years to come unless they find appropriate help.
Long ago I wrote a piece about alcoholism being a multigenerational disease. Even this right now moment I am most grateful for the reminder. I had forgotten how insidious alcoholism is. It's also been called a baffling and cunning disease. I tend to think I can think rationally about the ongoing effects and realize the only rational thing I can do always comes back to What am I doing to take care of myself and begin helping myself by looking to the principles of the 12 Step programs.
Today I arrived at this site and believe my H P whom I choose to call God leads me toward things that bring help and health...
Thank you 12 steppers for letting me share, I needed to. I�m feeling a sense of joy and some freedom. I don�t have to feel guilty for not helping or responding to the same old stuff. I do have a choice. I can live with unsolved problems. I can take care of myself and I can write a share to fellow 12 steppers who know there are solutions. I am laughing as two words with the melody come as automatic thoughts. �Welcome back.� It was Good 4 me to write� Thank you again.
Casey, I wish you happiness, joy, and freedom�
Sincerely,
ibeme