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#381166 - 02/25/08 11:20 PM One of the guys  
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 139
ilove1978 Offline
Jellyfish
ilove1978  Offline
Jellyfish

Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 139
TN
Well I know I have seen posts here about some of us having more guy friends than girls. I am definitely one of those people. I feel it is hard to have anything in common w/ most women esp. for me since every woman I know has kids and that is mainly all they discuss. So here is my question to those of you who can relate - Have you ever felt like all the women are staring at you when you and your DH or SO are hanging out w/ all the guys and all those women are wondering why you are over there instead of hanging out w/ the girls? Maybe I am just paranoid, but I do feel this way sometimes when I am hanging out w/ a larger group of people who don't know me extremely well. Like I said, I don't really have any girlfriends. I could care less what anyone thinks of me, but I will admit it makes me feel a tad awkward from time to time. Hope everyone here is doing well today and hello from me since I have not been on in a few weeks =)

Last edited by ilove1978; 02/25/08 11:21 PM.

I am a mom - to my sweet baby Pekingese =)
Living Without Children - Automated Note
For New Visitors: This forum exists as a support community for people who are living a child-free existence. This area is here to help nurture, inspire and educate those who, for whatever reason, are living their lives without children in the home.

Posts made here must be supportive of this lifestyle choice. Comments should not question a person's decision to or reasons for being child free. Those negative comments are called "bingoing" or "trolling" and are not allowed. Please be sure you are aware of this forum's intentions and rules before posting!

#381169 - 02/25/08 11:26 PM Re: One of the guys [Re: ilove1978]  
Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 148
Nancy - Motorcycles Offline
Jellyfish
Nancy - Motorcycles  Offline
Jellyfish

Joined: Apr 2007
Posts: 148
Maryland
When I was younger, I had more guys friends. As I have gotten older and took a chance on getting to know some women, I have found out what I have been missing. I have children but that is certainly not all I talk about. Good fathers talk about their children alot as well. Some people are fascinating and I love to share but I have more in common with women. I don't do sports, fix cars, although I do ride motorcycles, which more and more women are finding to be fun. The only negative is that I am very extroverted and sometimes women perceive that as ball busting. Not at all, I am very pro woman and always have been.

#381174 - 02/25/08 11:46 PM Re: One of the guys [Re: Nancy - Motorcycles]  
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 139
ilove1978 Offline
Jellyfish
ilove1978  Offline
Jellyfish

Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 139
TN
I would definitely like to have more girlfriends, but at the moment in my current situation, it isn't really all that possible. My only co-worker is my brother (family business run by only members of my family) so no way to meet anyone at my job like alot of people do, my church is very small and the few women I do know are all old enough to be my mother (however they are all extremely nice) and there are no women my age there. So I am kinda the odd person out as far as meeting new people to be friends w/. I am happy and I am grateful at least to my DH who is my best friend in the whole world =)


I am a mom - to my sweet baby Pekingese =)
#381221 - 02/26/08 01:05 AM Re: One of the guys [Re: ilove1978]  
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 42
yorkiesRcool Offline
Newbie
yorkiesRcool  Offline
Newbie

Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 42
Charlotte, NC
I have always been the only girl in a big group of guys. I have liked it because girls can be so @itchy sometimes. I was like that all the way through college. But now that I am close to 30 I have almost all girlfriends, with the exception of my DH few friends, but then I have become friends with their wives...I can relate more now to other girls now that I am older. But I like being one of the guys. It is nice being the only girl, 'cause you get all of the attention!!

#381226 - 02/26/08 01:16 AM Re: One of the guys [Re: ilove1978]  
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 60
Bifumus Offline
Amoeba
Bifumus  Offline
Amoeba

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 60
MO
ilove1978 - I hear ya. I run an office where I am the only full-time person, and the p/t employees come in, do their job, and leave, so I don't get much interaction that way. I work odd hours so most women I knew in college are not home when I am (the only ones that are would be the SAHM's).

When I was first getting my business going, and for a few years into it, I worked most nights until 8:30, and missed out on a lot of social opportunities. I find now that even though I leave early some nights, it's almost an engrained habit to turn down an invitation even if it's during a time when I can go. Weird, eh?

My best friend from high school was a guy. He now lives about 10 minutes away from me, with his wife and three young kids. We talk occasionally, mostly online, but rarely get together. His wife tries to act confident but he's told me that she's a very jealous person and doesn't understand how he and I can "just" be friends (I'm sure she would get it if the shoe were on the other foot and it was her and a guy in question.)

I think the place where I feel like the biggest outsider is in my neighborhood. We moved in almost 3 years ago, and are the ONLY people on the street w/o kids. I have nothing in common with these women, as their entire worlds seem to be focused on their kids. It's also obvious that the previous family had kids (they had 3) because the neighborhood kids think nothing of playing in our yard (actually ran through our backyard right in front of me once during a game of tag. Ask me why we now lock our gates.), which ticks us off to no end.

Wow... didn't mean to write a thesis there. Apparently I had some pent-up thoughts on this issue. Getting back to the main topic, I do wish I had more girlfriends too. My DH definitely helps keep me sane by being my best friend. grin

#381230 - 02/26/08 01:22 AM Re: One of the guys [Re: Bifumus]  
Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,606
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames  Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity

Joined: Jan 2004
Posts: 22,606
I always liked hanging out with the guys; the types of interests I had seemed to align more with them than with the girls in my area. I was never into dressing up or makeup or anything like that. But as I've gotten older things have changed - I've found a lot of women who are very much like me and we enjoy greatly spending time together. So I think it's a matter of who you are able to find that share interests. I still like hanging out with guys too, but now it's not a matter of "the only real choice".

For example, I love computer games and programming. It used to be that only guys did those things. Now many women do too.


Lisa Shea, Low Carb / Video Games Editor
Low Carb Forum
#381252 - 02/26/08 02:04 AM Re: One of the guys [Re: Lisa LowCarb / VideoGames]  
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 998
M.B. Offline
Parakeet
M.B.  Offline
Parakeet

Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 998
Since I was in first grade, I've never had more than one close female friend at a time. For the last decade, it's been the same girl. Everyone else I'm close to is male, and most of those guys are straight and single. (I admit I get weird looks from people who know my fiance and see me hanging out with another guy.) I've always felt more comfortable with guys in general.


Happily Living The Childfree Life!
#381270 - 02/26/08 02:33 AM Re: One of the guys [Re: M.B.]  
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 923
NotInterested Offline
Parakeet
NotInterested  Offline
Parakeet

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 923
My best friends that I get along with best tend to be women! No, not romantically, but my general attitudes (not liking sports, not being macho, empathizing with others...) tends to make me not like guys as friends, but I tend to get along with women better.


#381370 - 02/26/08 08:36 AM Re: One of the guys [Re: NotInterested]  
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 48
softstuff Offline
Newbie
softstuff  Offline
Newbie

Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 48
I tend to relate better with guys, I also work better with them. They seem to prefer a jokey bantering approach and that's how I work best. We take the [censored] out of each other, but never take it personally. In addition I enjoy action films with plenty of blood and guts and UFC, plus I work in the video gaming industry so deal mostly with guys.

I struggled recently working with a girl who was image obsessed and very girly... considering the last time I had a haircut I did it over a sink myself, we had little in common. She bingoed my hubby at the works Xmas party... "so when are you guys having babies?", My hubbies answer of "never" brought that convo to a quick end!

#381521 - 02/26/08 03:03 PM Re: One of the guys [Re: softstuff]  
Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 518
CF 4 Ever Offline
Gecko
CF 4 Ever  Offline
Gecko

Joined: Feb 2008
Posts: 518
I can go either way. I really value the female bond. My mother and Grandmother raised me and all my cousins but one when I was growing up were girls. I'm very female in my thinking, but not overly "girly" if that makes sense. But since my husband is my best friend, and we've been together since I was 16, I've gotten to understand the male mind really well. He tells me everything.

A few years back, before all his guy friends had kids or moved away, he'd take me along on guys' nights out. The guys were cool with it (they'd always invite me!) because I had no problem with guys just being guys.


"The world might be considerably poorer if the great writers had exchanged their books for children of flesh and blood." ~Virginia Woolfe
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