BellaOnline Forums Family Moms Letting go a little?

My son is 7 1/2 will be 8 in July and in 2nd grade. We live about a block and 1/2 away from his school. But I also live on a busy street corner. We don't have a back yard because we live in an apartment building. I let him walk to school every once in awahile by himself but have only let him walk home once. He does well. He walks to the cross guard and she crosses with him. There are 2 other kids in his grade that live just off of our street and their parents let them run all over the side walks and up in the school yard without supervision. I have been ridiculed for not letting my son out by himself. If we had a backyard he could play in, fine, he could go out there by himself away from the traffic but the sidewalk is too dangerous because of the traffic and I won' be able to see him even if I sit out on our porch. So my question is, am I being too protective? Should I let him go down to the school yard with a watch and trust him to come back? I take them to parks all the time around home but I am sooooo leary of letting him go out by himself even if it just here in the neighborhood. When I was a kid, I grew up in a country setting. We were in the middle of no where, hardly any traffic, fields to go play in, huge backyards to go play in. It is nothing like that where we live.

When I was in elementary school I lived 2 blocks from school and we were on a busy street. I walked to and from school on my own. There was a crossing guard and I was only allowed to cross the street with her help. In fact one time I got out of school very late and the crossing guard had left and I just sat on the corner for almost an hour, sad, because I couldn't cross. So I really wish my mom had given me permission to cross on my own, rather than giving me that order ... I'm sure I could have managed it safely ...

He does well going to school by himself. The older kids are rough in this neighborhood. Then generally do not pick on the little guys and will even walk them home. He has really proven to us that he can handle the responsibility of going to school and even coming home. I am leary of letting him play outside by himself though.

Hmmmm when you say play by himself do you mean like no other kids are around at all, anywhere? Or do you mean he has a best friend he wants to play with, so there will be two of them together but no parents around?

When I was younger, I walked all over town by myself. Of course that was the 70's. Jeanette, I can understand you being leary of letting your son walk home by himself. I live in a remote area, so my kids couldn't really walk home from the bus stop because it is about a mile away. Now they are older (middle and high school) and they do walk home from bus but with friends. The world is a scary place now, and I still make them call me at work when they get home!

Actually it appears it is rarer than lightning strikes -

"The most reliable research available indicates that there are only 100-130 cases of stranger abductions a year in the United States."

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I can understand your concerns. I think it depends on the kid. One 8 yr. old might be ready while another would need more time. Has your son shown himself to be responsible on a regular basis? I think I would definitely make a small boundary he would have to stay in. If you think your neighborhood is kind of rough, I'd take that into consideration. You aren't weird to be concerned, it's good that you are giving this much thought. If it were me I'd also set a strict time limit. At some point we have to trust our kids and let them grow up and learn to handle themselves outside the home. But it's a series of small steps. Maybe your son is ready for a small step.

Are there any after school programs available either at your school or your local YMCA? For kids who do not have a yard of their own to invite friends over to play in, local programs for them could get them off the streets for those few hours after school when they really want to play and unwind. Maybe you can get him into sports. My 10 year old grandson started getting involved with the YMCA sports teams when he was 8 and really enjoys it. He started out in baseball and now prefers basketball and is having a great time. We love going to the games and practices with him. Not only does it give the child an outlet and a fun time, but the whole family gets involved. His mom, my daughter, is a single parent and really watches where he plays and with whom and the sports programs gives her a little stress-free time as well as giving the boy some great time.