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#369425 01/24/08 06:17 PM
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trishh Offline OP
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Many of my business contacts are done over an informal meal. I am from the north and when I am in the south in particular, I notice that if I ask a question of someone at the table they will very often put down their fork to answer me. I am caught between wanting to make table talk and to avoid causing them delay in getting to their meal! You can imagine the oddness in this back and forth snatching a bite of food, praying that someone won't interrupt with conversation. I generally mirror my companion's behaviour, but I am keen to know...
What is the proper etiquette here?


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Ah but a meal isn't supposed to be a race smile In Europe meals go on for multiple hours, with conversation, wine, relaxation and healthy eating. It's often quoted as a main reason they end up slimmer than we do. In the US we shovel food in quickly and eat more than we should!

So consider it a sign of respect that they are taking the time to talk with you, to enjoy the conversation. When I go out with friends the meals can take 3 hours sometimes, because we're having so much fun talking. We consider this to be a good thing smile


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Setting a fork down is the polite response to a question asked. Many people, when holding anything, tend to be more animated. This animation can result in flaying one's fork. By setting a utensil down, you and the people around you are not going to be distracted by it and the person answering the question is able to give you their full attention.
Besides, you said these are business contacts and you are meeting during a meal. If meeting and eating are supposed to be taking place simultaneously, the meal will, indeed, take a bit longer.
So take your time and ask your questions. Conversation during a meal is a good thing. The fact that your contacts are being gracious eaters and talkers will only add to your meeting.
Bon Appetite!

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I hear what your saying about the flaying one's fork. i was sitting across from this guy who was talking with his knife, i wanted to duck.


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LOL Skyhaven I can imagine that very clearly!!

I definitely am a fan of long, slow, leisurely meals with great conversation smile


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Putting the fork down is a polite gesture to let the person know you are listening. People who talk with their forks really scare me. Lisa is right about the European tradition of long meal times. In my family, supper is when we all get together and discuss our days and share funnies, stories and other good things. My daughter and I love to sit at the table and just chat away, sharing and eating slowly. Too often, we are in a rush a gobble foods, taking the time to sit and converse also helps us digest foods in a more healthy way.


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