BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Baby machine

I happened to see a woman I know at the store tonight. She is ready to pop. I had her two kids in child care for a while. Very sweet, well-behaved kids. I mentioned to her once that both of her kids were really well-behaved and she said, "actually, I have five. Those are my youngest two." She can't be more than 35. And this will be her 6th kid. Her kids are all two years apart, I think.

She's a SAHM. Her husband must have a damn good job to support a wife and five (soon to be six!) kids. And they were at the store sans children!

She's a really sweet woman, but it does make me wonder what her life is like. I know the older three kids are in school, and she works out (well, when she's not pregnant) almost every day. She's in fantastic shape. She's always very stylish, too. And her kids are fantastic!

How does she do it????? I don't think I could do that. They must be filthy rich and have a nanny or something!!!

It's beyond me. I couldn't even handle one. They must have money if 1. she can stay home 2. she has time to work out! She must have a nanny of some sort, housecleaner sweep in, something. There are some women that seem to have boundless energy, and some people thrive on chaos. I can't identify with that either, but hey. Six is a lot these days. I know someone that has four and I can't figure out why he hasn't offed himself yet. His wife comes from a huge family herself, and pretty much all of the ten or so kids all have numerous offpspring themselves. I went to a baby shower once, and all of the kids and their daughters were there. They could fill up the restaurant with just their family. They are like the frigin Kennedys.

Hell, I don't know how they do it. If I was feeling less confident it would make me feel inadequate. But I'm feeling quite confident today (thanks you guys!). I think it's got to be money. Maybe they have family money. Also, sometimes I think people like that are motivated by being hecticly busy and they don't need the down time and the spaces.

Perhaps because she started so young she is just extremely practised and doesn't know any other life.

Either that or it's a complete front when she's going shopping and it's all a nightmare at home.

The main thing is - as long as I don't have to do it.

Sounds like family money to me too. Maybe real estate investing? They could also be in debt to oblivion for all we know. So hard to really know what's going on in people's lives...

And to ask about such a subject, IMO, might open yourself up to you being asked personal questions as well.

In any case, if it was important, that person would tell you. Until then, you just go about your own life and hope that they are happy with their life.

She might be one of those people who can actually do it all. Some people love being parents, thrive on it, and raise their children in a manner than means that they don't let the kids run them ragged.

People that can achieve that have my utmost respect. Hell, I wouldn't even try!

I know someone who is kind of like this. I'll call her Sara. Sara is a SAHM and her hubby has a full time job. He does not make a lot of money, by a long shot, but certain factors worked in their favor. They bought their home when the market was low, as were prices for our area so their mortgage is 1/3 of mine. She worked part-time when kid #1 was born and then quit completely when kid #2 was born. They are cautious with money and she is good with making it stretch. For a while they had no cable TV, no long distance phone etc. They do it all on their own (I have heard the stories)and just act very responsibly.

However, their house is very nice, warm and cozy. Their kids are well taken care of and Sara is always put together. Nice hair, nice make-up, great figure and she is very, very sweet. You want to hate her but you can't AND she and her husband are great parents with very well-behaved, well adjusted kids. They are great parents.

How she does it, I'll never know but she does it!

If someone wants to do it all like that, go for it! I'm not going to stand in their way. I do have the utmost respect for parents who DO take their job and responsibility seriously. If only other parents were that dedicated, the world wouldn't be such a crazy place, methinks.

But it still wouldn't make a difference for me wanting to be a parent, however

I've noticed that some people prefer not to think, and like to keep things insanely busy so they can avoid reflection. This is one of my main reasons for not wanting kids. I'm worthless if I don't have down time, time to think, and time to myself. That would be no life for me. Luckily there are women like this out there and they can keep the population going. I think some of these people really just living in the moment b/c something crazy is always going on - a spilt drink, scraped knee, you name it. Not for me!

There are some people who were just made to be terrific parents. I still don't agree with their having so many kids, of course.

She could also be covering up a lot of problems that you don't know about. They could very well live up to their eyeballs in debt. I've seen that more than once on Oprah and other shows.

I went to an intensive group therapy session for a month and quickly noticed that the people who usually intimidate me - pulled-together, with-it people, often cope with various addictions or abuse. You just don't know looking from the outside.