logo
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
#364455 01/07/08 11:12 PM
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
P
patd Offline OP
Jellyfish
OP Offline
Jellyfish
P
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
Hi, I'm pat d, an alcoholic and food addict. I'm new to Bella and am checking everything out. How come there aren't posts for several days? Where are you all?

Well, a little about me. I'm 61 and have 27yrs sober. I'm struggling with my food addiction, though. Sigh!!! I'm not into sugar or flour but i'm all over the map with other things. I'm such an addict (generic). I often believe that if i've tried something twice i'm probably addicted to it. Sigh again!

Sponsored Post Advertisement
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 172
K
BellaOnline Editor
Jellyfish
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Jellyfish
K
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 172
Hi Pat D,

Sometimes I think everyone has been "cured" and doesn't need any more info on recovery! Seriously, as the recovery editor, my most difficult "job" is getting anyone to really participate in this forum. I have hundreds and hundreds read my articles but everyone seems to freeze getting involved in the forum. There is complete anonymity even to me as to who writes either here or to me at the site. But, thanks for writing. I think it would be interesting to hear from others out there who have changed one addiction for another. We all have and sometimes the new ones seem more difficult than the first! Happy New Year everyone and remember that what you write here just might be what someone needs to hear. And by the way, I am visiting my daughter in VA so I don't have the opportunity to read my own forum every day.

Last edited by Kathy - 12 Step Recovery; 01/08/08 12:02 AM.
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
P
patd Offline OP
Jellyfish
OP Offline
Jellyfish
P
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
Thanks for writing back, Kathy. I also hope people will show up again; i need the support and i know there have to be those out there who could also use it. I know that "The Season" throws a lot of us off and not necessarily becuz of slips but because it's so hectic and filled with obligations. Still...we have a chance now to settle down and focus on 2008. I am trying to stay focused on "the things i can change" so that my life is better this year. I have seen my disease take off around food even though i still have a long time sober. I KNOW recovery is about being "spiritually fit" and that's where i've lost it. The disease ruins that. So, people, ya all...COME ON BACK. I need you and i'll bet i'm not alone.

pat d

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 66,288
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Offline
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 66,288
Hi Pat congrads on yr 27yrs of being sober, it mustn't of been easy. but your doing it, good 4 u girl, i'm 60yrs old and have a problem with food also. should say I'm an emotional eater, what ever the emotion. ;o(, since Jan 1st I have walked at least 2miles aday on my treadmill. I thought it would increase my appetite but its doing just the opposite. i'm also TRYING to eat differently like small changes. i need to lose at least 85 pounds. I hope you can make some healthy changes. all we can do is try.
lots of luck


Rosie L
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
P
patd Offline OP
Jellyfish
OP Offline
Jellyfish
P
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
Hi Rosie,

Thanks for posting. I have such a difficult time with motivation around food. I had 8 years of abstinence (no flour or sugar; weighed and measured meals with nothing inbetween) and i'm REAL far away from that at the moment. I have gained 30 lbs. As i heard in Anonymous rooms so often: it's about the food and it's not about the food. It's really about my spiritual fitness. Since i lived food "clean" for so long i can sure tell the difference in my thinking and serenity. Alcohol is so easy for me in comparison to food; it's out of my environment and i don't have to deal with it every day as i do with food.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

pat d




Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 66,288
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Offline
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 66,288
I'm mostly trying to lose weight because I.m so afraid of Diabetes which runs in my family, with horrible consequences, my second reason is i believe 90% of all my aches n pains are caused by my weight ( if i lose the weight I'll lose the pain) and the 3rd reason I don't like the way i look. loneliness plays a major roll in my over eating. I know I need to make changes. maybe we can support each other in making healthy changes in our lives. wishing you the best of luck
Rosie


Rosie L
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
P
patd Offline OP
Jellyfish
OP Offline
Jellyfish
P
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
Wow, Rosie, (and anyone else interested) that would be great. I think i always thought being healthy would be "easy" ALWAYS. Now at 61 i see the path i'm on and i don't like it. My problem is that once i'm "off track" it is really, really hard for me to turn myself around. And what pisses me off is that i "know better." I know about the "disease of addiction" and see all the systems in myself. And, get this, i even co-lead a step study for food addicts! So what does all this say about my ability to really work steps 1-3!

A couple of months ago i broke my foot. I'm out of the cast and in a "walking boot" but it makes doing any kind of exercise really impossible at the moment. I have consulted with a personal trainer and have an appointment with her tomorrow. Thinking about that is what prompted me to say something about motivation (lack of). I get "gung ho" and then drop to the depths. I know i need to clean up my food issues and i'm hoping that approaching the issues from the exercise angle will help to get me (and keep me) on the right track. I think i slide back and forth between being "gung ho" and complete "collapse" around it all. And when i'm in "collapse" i get into the "poor me" syndrome and really feel like such a failure. Right now the best thing i can say is that i'm trying desperately to no withdraw and isolate. That's usually the outcome of my 'collapse." I guess all this means to me that i don't know how to ask for help. I don't know WHAT will help me get past this cycle i've been in for a year. I think i just need to keep "showing up" and trying to find my path to health. And, Rosie, here's the real burn: i AM diabetic, so i have urgency around getting out of this slump. Some years ago i heard someone in a meeting say she wished she had been diabetic so she'd take her food addiction seriously and i about fell off my chair. Having diabetes never stops me from my addiction when i'm in it. When i'm in "recovery" i am great at taking care of myself but no amount of "cognitive understanding" ever helps me get past my disease.

Rosie, do you know i could help you? Or, really, WHAT would help you? What do you know about yourself and this whole issue.

BTW, thanks for writing and suggesting we keep up to see if we can help each other.

pat







Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 172
K
BellaOnline Editor
Jellyfish
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Jellyfish
K
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 172
I don't know of any of "us" who have only one addiction and once that obsession is gone, we are home free! NOPE! We are just an addicted lot. Try something once and it becomes an addiction. But, the wonderful thing is that I am totally convinced we can use the 12 steps for any addiction at all. On Jan. 11, I am celebrating one whole year of being smoke free. I tried to quit more than I had ever tried to quit anything and it was definitely harder than anything. I kept using Step One and told myself that I couldn't have just one. So, smokes, food, whatever...progress not perfection and we just pray and try a little harder every day. Thanks for keeping the forum going, ladies. Now it would be great to hear from some of you other addicts out there. I know there are three of us! Oh, by the way, my latest addiction is Peanut M&M's! YUM!

Kathy L.

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 66,288
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Offline
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 66,288
congrads to you Kathy, before when i would fall i would stay down and dwell on my failure, now when i fail i pick myself up and say i will try it again. lots of good luck Pat n Kathy


Rosie L
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
P
patd Offline OP
Jellyfish
OP Offline
Jellyfish
P
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
Good luck to you too Rosie. I really relate to what you said about getting up and trying again. I use to think that slipping was failure; now i know that's not true. Having addictionS is a journey and recovery is not an event. Being "Perfect" is just not appropriate and i try to not go there.

Kathy...ditto on the congrats to you. I never smoked til i got sober (can you believe that?!?!?) and it took several years to stop for good. It is one of the toughest addictions to stop and i really do want to congrat you!

pat

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18
S
Newbie
Offline
Newbie
S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18
Hello All, I recently traded exercise and positive thinking for beating myself up. That just doesnt work. Everyone gets to that point where they say thats enough, and thats when life starts to change. It may seem to get harder at first and thats when you really have to be tough. We have all lived through some really tough things and we can do it again! I have been clean and sober for a few yrs, and I have to say, kicking dope and alcohol has been the hardest thing Ive ever done. Its also been 16mo since I have had a cigg. Hang in there girls! If I can do it so can you. I have confidence in us! If anyone would like to chat Im availible on yahoo messenger. Sierra

Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
P
patd Offline OP
Jellyfish
OP Offline
Jellyfish
P
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
Wow, Sierra...good for you, esp with the ciggs! I appreciate your input and it helps me to keep showing up. Interestingly, as i said b4, alcohol was a lot easier for me that food ever has been!
But i keep "on keeping on" as i hear people say and i know i'll get it. Please keep posting.

pat d


Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18
S
Newbie
Offline
Newbie
S
Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 18
Hey pat, Where in CA are you? I used to live in sacramento. 2.5 yrs ago I came out here to Belleville, IL to help a freind and kick the habits. We got married and now my husband Bill is retiring this spring from the USAF. We plan on traveling this summer and after that, but due to rising gas prices we are going to have to plan our trips carefully. I enjoy hunting, archery, shooting, sewing, bike riding, hiking, working out, and eating. Im 51, 15lbs over my so called ideal weight, if there is such a thing. What do you like to do?

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 66,288
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Offline
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 66,288
way to go Sierra, you go girl


Rosie L
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
P
patd Offline OP
Jellyfish
OP Offline
Jellyfish
P
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
Hi Sierra,

I live in San Jose altho' i wish i didn't! (But that's another story for a different forum, altho' i'm not sure which one.) What do i like doing? Reading, walking/hiking, traveling, watching tv. I laughed when i read your line of things you lie, Sierra...you put eating at the end of the list! I would NEVER do that! LOL (Which is probably partly why i'm a lot more than 15 lb above ideal!) You probably didn't think about it when you were writing your list but even the fact that I did says a lot about me! LOL.

Where is it you hope to travel???

pat

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 6
Newbie
Offline
Newbie
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 6
hi pat and everyone, i am 63 and 24 years sober..congratulations to all of you on your recovery, no matter how far you are into sobriety and joy..for me this past year has been about the food and smokes..i did drop 23lbs and quit smoking for 7 days...ahhh! i did so good, but as life would have it, i am not there yet with the smokes!!!..i still have 15-20 more lbs to loose..believe me when i tell you this..the steps are the key, and we need to "cease fighting all things" i believe ie: turn it all, and all of me over to my HP..the ans come..they did with our alcohol problem, and they will in these other areas...we just need to do the best we can today and stay in the day and stay sober...pat, you might agree with me on this..the longer we are sober, the easier one day at a time is because, we become unwilling to loose our peace of mind..we were shown in the beginning "one day at a time" and sometimes minute to minute, but it must be in the now for all us to stay sober...i am being tested again with this; as we are moving across country from az to fla in march, and my oh my!!!MY "i can't wait" little kid is popping up all over the place....i need to remember the program is a design for living all these things that need to fall into place happen "one day at a time" God bless all of you, and walk joyously once again in a new year of sobriety, and happiness with ourselves and others "right where we are". "God can, i can't, i think i will let Him"..Namaste', carol

Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 6
Newbie
Offline
Newbie
Joined: Jul 2006
Posts: 6
hey pat, i got sober in san francisco..california AA is the best!! i really miss it...Namaste' and hugs, carol

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 66,288
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Offline
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 66,288
Congrads to you also Carol, yes one day at a time, you go girl


Rosie L
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
P
patd Offline OP
Jellyfish
OP Offline
Jellyfish
P
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 116
Hi Carol,

Thanks so much for posting...lots of great stuff in your post. And, ya, i know what you mean about SF. Now, on the AZ to FLA thing, well, all i can say is have fun girl! That just wouldn't be my kind of place! But i think it's great you are excited. And i totally get what you mean about it being easier to do one day at a time when you have time. I think of it this way: when i was new i didn't believe i could really make it past any stessors that came up; after all, that's what i drank over...all those stressors in life. Now i know that no matter what comes up i can make it one day at a time not drinking.

What's really hard for me is that since i know that i SHOULD be able to apply that concept to eating. Shoot..i HATE the word"should." Nevertheless, i do pile guilt on myself for not being able to use the steps to stop my eating issues.

As an example, yesterday i met with a personal trainer for the first time. I didn't feel stressed and i really felt good about her and about what we talked about but after i left i felt VERY stressed and went out and bought oneof my fav binge foods. I KNEW i would do it and i couldn't use my HP or program to stop myself. I guess in the end i just had to not beat myself up for
what i was doing. I cling onto the belief that my HP has a reason for me being where i am. I have always believed that i never get the "reason" for the lesson until i'm past it. I am wondering if it has to do with guilt...about letting go of my guilt. I also know that the first time i go abstinent i had no problem and this time it's been really, really hard.

Carol, one of the things i really liked about what you said had to do (what i thought, at least) with living the program to the best of your ability even if your not "in recovery" in every area of your life and not beating yourself up for still struggling. Maybe that's what i WANT to believe your saying. Tell me, is that what you were saying and what you believe?

One more thing. My appointment yesterday was really good and i made a commitment to work with this woman. The way she works is you come into her small facility and she puts you through a workout while staying with you through the whole time. All of her clients come in by appointment and work with her for an hour. It's not like the usual gym where you work on your own unless you want to pay more to get personal help. This will cost me a lot of money i don't really have but i am hoping the personal help will help me stay motivated and not give up. I know from previous experience that if i can get to feeling better physically there is a good chance other things will begin to fall into place. I feel really crummy physically at this point in my life. Working to strengthen myself physically will go a long way to helping me in other areas. I said this before: up to recently i thought i would always be healthy and strong physically. I'm seeing that this just isn't true! I see people, particularly women, who let their weight and physical helath go to the point where they need to get around in a wheel chair. I am not being a drama queen here...i just don't want to go down that path and i see i am headed in that direction. Yet, i know without help i won't be able to get consistent and make progress with this either.

Im sorry this is such a long post, you all. It was good to meet you Carol and to know that Rosie is still here and i had a lot i needed to say. Thanks for listening and hugs to you all.

pat





Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 172
K
BellaOnline Editor
Jellyfish
Offline
BellaOnline Editor
Jellyfish
K
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 172
Hi all! I had the chance to read all your posts today because I had to get online to post my weekly article. And, I feel kind of left out because I am visiting my daughter and cannot join in your "conversation". I mentioned that today is a big one for me because I have been smoke free for 1 year! I will be returning to my home in AZ on Sunday so hopefully will be able to catch up. In the meantime, life is one day at a time. Not that we shouldn't plan some things but I was told that when we make a plan, God laughs! I think I usually keep Him in hysterics! Anyway, to all of you peace and namaste'.

Kathy L.

Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 66,288
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Offline
Highest Posting Power Known to Humanity
Joined: Nov 2005
Posts: 66,288
Kathy thats great, I'm sure yr daughter is so proud of you. I hope you can stick with it, there is nothing we can't over come. you go girl, congrads to your ONE YEAR! yippee for Kathy


Rosie L
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3

Moderated by  Kathy - 12 Step Recovery 

Link Copied to Clipboard
Brand New Posts
Make It Sew Easier
by Cheryl - Sewing Editor - 03/27/24 04:34 PM
2024 - on this day in the past ...
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/27/24 01:31 PM
Planner Template Kit - Weekly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:39 PM
Planner Template Kit - Yearly Layout Template
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:37 PM
How to Use Digital Planner Template Kit
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:36 PM
Review - 20 Illustrator Color tips Helen Bradley
by Digital Art and Animation - 03/26/24 07:32 PM
March Equinox to June Solstice
by Mona - Astronomy - 03/26/24 12:27 PM
Hobotrader unleashes never seen opportunity with i
by Jamal molla - 03/26/24 11:55 AM
Psalm for the day
by Angie - 03/25/24 09:05 AM
Genealogy, Sort of
by Angie - 03/24/24 05:39 PM
Sponsor
Safety
We take forum safety very seriously here at BellaOnline. Please be sure to read through our Forum Guidelines. Let us know if you have any questions or comments!
Privacy
This forum uses cookies to ensure smooth navigation from page to page of a thread. If you choose to register and provide your email, that email is solely used to get your password to you and updates on any topics you choose to watch. Nothing else. Ask with any questions!


| About BellaOnline | Privacy Policy | Advertising | Become an Editor |
Website copyright © 2022 Minerva WebWorks LLC. All rights reserved.


Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5