Hi, I'm pat d, an alcoholic and food addict. I'm new to Bella and am checking everything out. How come there aren't posts for several days? Where are you all?

Well, a little about me. I'm 61 and have 27yrs sober. I'm struggling with my food addiction, though. Sigh!!! I'm not into sugar or flour but i'm all over the map with other things. I'm such an addict (generic). I often believe that if i've tried something twice i'm probably addicted to it. Sigh again!

Hi Pat D,

Sometimes I think everyone has been "cured" and doesn't need any more info on recovery! Seriously, as the recovery editor, my most difficult "job" is getting anyone to really participate in this forum. I have hundreds and hundreds read my articles but everyone seems to freeze getting involved in the forum. There is complete anonymity even to me as to who writes either here or to me at the site. But, thanks for writing. I think it would be interesting to hear from others out there who have changed one addiction for another. We all have and sometimes the new ones seem more difficult than the first! Happy New Year everyone and remember that what you write here just might be what someone needs to hear. And by the way, I am visiting my daughter in VA so I don't have the opportunity to read my own forum every day.

Thanks for writing back, Kathy. I also hope people will show up again; i need the support and i know there have to be those out there who could also use it. I know that "The Season" throws a lot of us off and not necessarily becuz of slips but because it's so hectic and filled with obligations. Still...we have a chance now to settle down and focus on 2008. I am trying to stay focused on "the things i can change" so that my life is better this year. I have seen my disease take off around food even though i still have a long time sober. I KNOW recovery is about being "spiritually fit" and that's where i've lost it. The disease ruins that. So, people, ya all...COME ON BACK. I need you and i'll bet i'm not alone.

pat d

Hi Pat congrads on yr 27yrs of being sober, it mustn't of been easy. but your doing it, good 4 u girl, i'm 60yrs old and have a problem with food also. should say I'm an emotional eater, what ever the emotion. ;o(, since Jan 1st I have walked at least 2miles aday on my treadmill. I thought it would increase my appetite but its doing just the opposite. i'm also TRYING to eat differently like small changes. i need to lose at least 85 pounds. I hope you can make some healthy changes. all we can do is try.
lots of luck

Hi Rosie,

Thanks for posting. I have such a difficult time with motivation around food. I had 8 years of abstinence (no flour or sugar; weighed and measured meals with nothing inbetween) and i'm REAL far away from that at the moment. I have gained 30 lbs. As i heard in Anonymous rooms so often: it's about the food and it's not about the food. It's really about my spiritual fitness. Since i lived food "clean" for so long i can sure tell the difference in my thinking and serenity. Alcohol is so easy for me in comparison to food; it's out of my environment and i don't have to deal with it every day as i do with food.
Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

pat d

I'm mostly trying to lose weight because I.m so afraid of Diabetes which runs in my family, with horrible consequences, my second reason is i believe 90% of all my aches n pains are caused by my weight ( if i lose the weight I'll lose the pain) and the 3rd reason I don't like the way i look. loneliness plays a major roll in my over eating. I know I need to make changes. maybe we can support each other in making healthy changes in our lives. wishing you the best of luck
Rosie

Wow, Rosie, (and anyone else interested) that would be great. I think i always thought being healthy would be "easy" ALWAYS. Now at 61 i see the path i'm on and i don't like it. My problem is that once i'm "off track" it is really, really hard for me to turn myself around. And what pisses me off is that i "know better." I know about the "disease of addiction" and see all the systems in myself. And, get this, i even co-lead a step study for food addicts! So what does all this say about my ability to really work steps 1-3!

A couple of months ago i broke my foot. I'm out of the cast and in a "walking boot" but it makes doing any kind of exercise really impossible at the moment. I have consulted with a personal trainer and have an appointment with her tomorrow. Thinking about that is what prompted me to say something about motivation (lack of). I get "gung ho" and then drop to the depths. I know i need to clean up my food issues and i'm hoping that approaching the issues from the exercise angle will help to get me (and keep me) on the right track. I think i slide back and forth between being "gung ho" and complete "collapse" around it all. And when i'm in "collapse" i get into the "poor me" syndrome and really feel like such a failure. Right now the best thing i can say is that i'm trying desperately to no withdraw and isolate. That's usually the outcome of my 'collapse." I guess all this means to me that i don't know how to ask for help. I don't know WHAT will help me get past this cycle i've been in for a year. I think i just need to keep "showing up" and trying to find my path to health. And, Rosie, here's the real burn: i AM diabetic, so i have urgency around getting out of this slump. Some years ago i heard someone in a meeting say she wished she had been diabetic so she'd take her food addiction seriously and i about fell off my chair. Having diabetes never stops me from my addiction when i'm in it. When i'm in "recovery" i am great at taking care of myself but no amount of "cognitive understanding" ever helps me get past my disease.

Rosie, do you know i could help you? Or, really, WHAT would help you? What do you know about yourself and this whole issue.

BTW, thanks for writing and suggesting we keep up to see if we can help each other.

pat

I don't know of any of "us" who have only one addiction and once that obsession is gone, we are home free! NOPE! We are just an addicted lot. Try something once and it becomes an addiction. But, the wonderful thing is that I am totally convinced we can use the 12 steps for any addiction at all. On Jan. 11, I am celebrating one whole year of being smoke free. I tried to quit more than I had ever tried to quit anything and it was definitely harder than anything. I kept using Step One and told myself that I couldn't have just one. So, smokes, food, whatever...progress not perfection and we just pray and try a little harder every day. Thanks for keeping the forum going, ladies. Now it would be great to hear from some of you other addicts out there. I know there are three of us! Oh, by the way, my latest addiction is Peanut M&M's! YUM!

Kathy L.

congrads to you Kathy, before when i would fall i would stay down and dwell on my failure, now when i fail i pick myself up and say i will try it again. lots of good luck Pat n Kathy

Good luck to you too Rosie. I really relate to what you said about getting up and trying again. I use to think that slipping was failure; now i know that's not true. Having addictionS is a journey and recovery is not an event. Being "Perfect" is just not appropriate and i try to not go there.

Kathy...ditto on the congrats to you. I never smoked til i got sober (can you believe that?!?!?) and it took several years to stop for good. It is one of the toughest addictions to stop and i really do want to congrat you!

pat