TOTALLY AGREE. And it really just makes women look bad.

I dont know when I worked fast food I never made that kind of money either! I would like to know what BK pays that much I think I will Apply for that job!! That might be worth putting up with all the [censored]!

I am a massage therapist and when all is said and done I made like 1500 this year and that is not talking out expences!!! and I have a good year!

So all the years a woman stays home with the child because she and her husband have agreed that this is how they wish to raise said child... all those years out of the work force.... and he decides to split.. leaving her high and dry is totally acceptable to people without children.... awesome....
so basically, screw the kid.... it doesn't need a mom who can actively care for it not because she not only has to enter the work force - as that would happen anyhow in this situation..but because she no longer has the money to feed and house a child... because all of you feel child support is enough... and all that time being out of the work force has created a lapse in her perceived skills..because as a couple, they chose to have children... so she rightly should suffer al the hardship because of this...
And since none of you want kids..this makes perfect sense to you.

I am getting a kick out of reading these. For one fact of info. All of you would not be here if you didnt have a mom.
For those who choose career over motherhood, that is a choice. For those who choose motherhood over career, that is a choice.

Some men actually make the decision that the wife is to stay at home and raise the kids. I should know. I was one of them.
I wanted to work, he didn't want me too. Does that make me a bad person, I don't think so but then again, I didn't go around complaining I wasn't getting paid enough to do it.

And yes, I think the argument for $144,000 is a little over the top, but the truth is that stay at home moms do do alot of work, I should know. I did it myself. I always had a saying that if you want money, you sacrifice family, if you want family, you sacrifice money.

Just remember, I'm sure your moms didn't complain about bringing you into this world and taking care of you for all these years.
I was in corporate America for many years working my tail off and found that it wasn't worth the headaches, the stress, the backstabbing etc. So for me, being a stay at home mom was a privilege. I liked not missing out on my kids daily lives, but that's just me. And as far as the bills went, I handled everything. He was a police officer and didn't have the time for those kinds of things. I took care of them all. And when we split out of mutual differences. I didn't ask him for anything. I knew he worked so hard all those years. I wasn't going to take anything from him, but then again I am a different kind of woman.

It's abundantly obvious you two didn't read the quoted passage very thoroughly. The point is that the departing working parent should pay to support the kids, not continue to support the (former) stay at home parent. So let's just skip the whole argument and jump straight to posting recipes, shall we?

bahrain -

'Some men actually make the decision that the wife is to stay at home and raise the kids. I should know. I was one of them.
I wanted to work, he didn't want me too.'

No offence intended.. but if my boyfriend made a decision I wasn't happy with, I wouldn't go along with it.... you wanted to work, he didn't want you to.. so you agreed with him and that was that?

No 'Sod off mate, I'm going back to work, if you don't like it - tough'? or.. 'ok then.. if you want a parent at home, YOU stay at home' ....?

As for 'screw the kid' .. isn't it odd how the Mother is expecting to look after the child when couples split? My sister said if she had kids with her boyfriend and they split.. she would foist it off onto him - maybe she wouldn't, but I think the sentiment is that it's unfair for the Mother to be a single parent, raise the exes offspring whilst he lives a batchelors lifestyle and she's burdened with the child... I don't see a problem with the ex paying for child support... but as everyone points out, it's a *choice* to get pregnant... and if you do, you usually choose to sacrifice things... e.g. money.

It's so obvious in this CF room when we get a drive-by, because it usually is so off-base, usually because someone didn't take the time to read details of previous posts.

*gently takes Discombobulated_bunny and bahrain by the hand to guide them back through some post details*

Um, no -- did you miss happytobechildfree's disclaimer, which was repeated at least once? Yep, ya did. Here, I'll help you:

The missed point that went whizzing by your head is that we don't agree with mothers who take advantage of child support. As happy said, of course we advocate the father pays child support. It's the law. What we don't agree with are the mothers who victimize themselves into thinking they're entitled to continue to stay home after hubby leaves, and also as happytobechildfree said, "expects to get half of what her working husband has been making." Taking advantage of child support comes in so many ways I witness on a daily basis: Not getting a job; using it to pay for anything from pedicures to cruises; not changing their lifestyle to compensate...it's rampant.

It was a joint decision to have the kid, and it should have been a joint decision for the mother to stay home. It's no secret that the divorce rate has gone over 50%, and with those odds, I think it's foolish for any woman to become 100% dependent, though it would be nice to live in that kind of bliss. And I believe, someone else said the same thing. Ah yes, thank you, LinuxLady:

That's why Bahrain's situation is so utterly foreign to us:

My husband would never decide a THING for me - nevermind something with which I would be overwhelmingly uncomfortable, like becoming 100% dependent on him. In America and other non-Arab countries, women don't have to do what their husbands say. We don't have to wear burkas, we can continue our education, we can have jobs, and we can even talk to other women to see how they're making out.

You know, I'd hedge a bet that ALL people in corporate America feel the same way you do about their work environment and would have loved the same privilege -- to duck out and go home. But just because you choose that life doesn't mean your now ex-husband should have to continue to subsidize it now that the two of you split.

Lastly, I promise you I get a bigger kick out of your comment, bahrain, than you did out of any one of our posts:

This is a repeated breeder comment in which we in here fail to find relevance. Frankly, I don't know which direction to go with it, but I can have fun trying:
1. If my mother never existed, you're right, I wouldn't be here. But thank God I am to be able to help pay taxes and unemployment...and to help people cope with poor decisions.
2. If my mother made me and split, my father would have found a way to make ends meet and provide a decent life for me. He would not have thrown his hands up in despair, crying, "VICTIM! VICTIM!"

My father, at one point, held three jobs AT THE SAME TIME my mother held down TWO of her own. Latch-key kid for a while? Yep. But I made it. WE made it. Though women in our country enjoy such freedoms as being able to make their own decisions and holding their own jobs, what we lack as a whole is ACCOUNTABILITY.

I'm not saying that life as a single mother is a cakewalk or that you're expected to pull through it smelling like a rose. God knows, I'd probably off myself if faced with that situation. Raising a kid is hard enough when you have an active, participating husband to help with that behemothic task. The thought of being at risk of going it alone is...well, about #3 on my list of why I'll never have children. My choice.

I really wanted to stay out of this topic, but I just have a few things to say, and hopefully I won't get bashed.
I can kinda see both sides of the argument here. People definately shouldn't take advantage of child support- it should go solely to the child. However, a mom (or dad) who has been staying at home because that is what the couple decided is at a huge disadvantage when it comes to reentering the work force. A large lapse in employment is a terrible thing on a resume, and most companies, I'm sad to say, perfer to hire younger, just out of college people, because they typically ask for less money.
I don't think it's a bad thing to be 100% financially dependent on your spouse, if that is what you decide together. In my opinion, one of the parents SHOULD stay home with the children, although I know that is not always possible.
I think the whole debate is really bringing women down, when we should be respecting and supporting each other.

I agree, Owl. But when someone drives by a room with accusations and judgments and the whole "You people..." mentality, they should expect to come across some land mines.

Ok. Ok. All of you have made your points and contrary to popular belief, my opinion is just that. An opinion and no, I am not offended by anything that any of you have said. I can see both sides and I wasn't accusing. Never assume as they say.

Land mines don't bother me, they only intrigue me. And I wasn't judging, I was stating my opinion, that's not judging the entire population and yes, I read every single written statement.

In Detail.......................

And yes, I don't agree that women should take advantage of their spouse once he is gone, but some do unfortunately and go for the jugular. I was stating the simple fact that there are women out there who don't. And on top of that, I commend you women that say that a man will never run your life for you. Congrats. Yes, I could've told mine at the time "Screw you", I'm going to work anyway, but yes I made the decision in the end, and No, I don't regret it one bit.

And finally, I agree with Owl. We as woman should respect and support each other no matter what decisions we make in this life in regards to having a family, staying home, etc.