BellaOnline Forums Career Business Owners What reduces your stress as a Business Woman?

Hi Ladies,

I'm just curious about what kind of stress you experience in your business and how you cope with it. I thought it would be great to support one another as we deal with the different aspects of being self employed.

Of course, I'm willing to go first so no one is shy! My webdesigner/hosting company suddenly withdrew from our webhosting contract a few days ago. This could be a HUGE deal for me, but I've really focussed on being positive about the possibilities this has opened up for me.

I really feel like positive thinking helps me reduce the stress I experience through my business. If I allow myself to think negatively, it's a huge landslide and I can feel buried pretty quickly!

I take things a step further by also visualizing what I really want my business to look like in the future. It gives me encouragement to know that I CAN do this! If I can dream it, I can certainly do it!

What's your stress around your business and what helps you deal with it?

My stress right now is Cash Flow.

I'm kinda of a single mom as my husband is in Ponoka during the week and once they start drilling it will be solid for 4 months. That part is great, love that he's gone most of the time because his attitude is a huge stressor in itself.

However, he doesn't send money home and if I ask for money it's a huge deal and I can't stand asking for it in the first place.

Since I moved to the Okanagan for two months started my business there got it going and then moved back to Calgary and had to start from scratch again, I've had a lot of expenses and not much income.

Add two kids and a messy house and you have more stress. It's not all that bad, just more frustrating than anything.

I started my own legal practice 16 months ago and I find that the biggest stressor is the [b]constant[/b] worrying that it will not work out, that if it doesn't work out I will be left with huge debts and will have to pay it all back and of course trying to keep business coming in and the business overdraft under control. Due to the way we are regulated here, there is very little I can do to attract business. It's a word of mouth type of thing. For me Yoga, exercise and positive thinking are the only things that I find help. Like you Tami if I let negative thoughts in at all I am way back at the beginning and have to start the mantra all over again to get myself back on an even keel.

I'm ready to quit!

As a freelance writer, I'm always looking for the next project, which can be stressful. For over 2 years, I had the perfect client, part time, high pay and creative freedom. When my client pulled the plug on his project, it was a hardship for me. I turned to developing my own health and wellness website, which gave me something to work on and build for the future. It's now starting to pay off.

Working on my own website, which will hopefully lead to some independence from taking freelance work, has been a stress reliever for me.

I recently wrote articles for about 3 months for another client who looked like he would be in for the long term but he had a business problem and that work went away too.

I've come to believe that working on my own projects is the best way to have security so I've tried to be positive about the ups and downs of freelance work.

I do walk every day for about an hour, do meditation and some yoga too, which also helps me. I've learned to live in the moment more and appreciate whatever happens, instead of always worrying about the future.

Hi Carennedy,

It sounds like you are really taking steps to create some financial independence and not become a victim of your situation. Good for you!

Thanks for expressing your strength and your vulnerability at the same time. Sometimes, part of our answer is in knowing what part IS working and what part ISN'T working for us.

What part IS working for you? What part isn't working for you so that you feel ready to quit? Empowerment comes when we look at these areas and decide what we CAN do to strengthen or change those areas.

As well, what has worked in the past to reduce the stress and make you feel stronger?

I invite you to begin strengthening yourself by reminding yourself, "I CAN do this!" Look how far you have come already

Take care,

Tami

Hi Becki,

I see you are new here. Welcome to the Forum!

I understand what it is like to worry about things. One day when I was feeling really stressed about wanting to develop my business, it hit me really hard that most STRESS IS ACTUALLY FEAR. What you are saying just sums it up once again. Does this ring true to you, too? One thing that helped was recognizing that what I was fearing was really not a life or death situation.

Have you ever noticed that whatever we focus on just gets bigger? If we focus on our fears, they get bigger. If we focus on the positive, we see things from a bigger picture and suddenly the little things don't seem to bother us as much.

Another thing that I find helps is mindset. Our belief system can either limit our options or expand them. Have you ever considered opening up to the possibility that there IS something you can do to attract business? Yes, there are laws, but you may just get an idea that honors the law and your practice! When we say yes to possibility, amazing ideas can come. If we say no, the ideas are prevented from coming to us.

Becki, I'm so glad you shared what helps! I'm sure many of us would like to hear more about how you implement positive thinking. As long as we are on this earth, we can learn so much from one another!

Hi Joan,

Thanks for sharing. I'm glad to hear your website is starting to pay off. Congratulations!

It really does seem like there are a lot of ups and downs when we run our own businesses! Like you, I've also found that focusing on enjoying the moment and embracing whatever happens as a learning experience really acts as a cushion for me. It helps me enjoy the "now" more and worry about the future less.

I'm just getting frustrated from lack of patience due to lack of cash flow. I know that starting out takes time, lots of it and you have to establish trust, once you have that the rest will fall into place and one day I won't have to be constantly flogging business. Most of what I do is a free service for now because it is a start up. I just don't get people sometimes, you offer them free marketing etc and you get a slap in the face (mediphorically speaking). I understand that you have to address the WIFM principle in order to get people to buy in but sometimes its like pulling teeth and you start thinking, why am I doing this???????

I have a meeting with Community Futures this week so I'm doing my business plan from scratch because it's changed so much from when I started it last. This is helping because I realize that this is a small part and once the concept is fully understood by business women and I get a cooperative marketing group working successfully then I won't be bagging my head against the wall anymore.

I have my networking meeting tomorrow and we'll see how many serious business women show up. The topic is Cooperative Marketing so hopefully they'll understand by the end of it exactly what that means and how it's going to help them compete in the market place.

When I was getting frustrated with my website-lack of traffic and earnings-a friend and mentor told me to have patience. She said websites need to "age" with the search engines so I should go away and focus on something else for a while. My friend earns about $30,000 a year with her website, which is 10 years old now, so I tend to listen to her!

I did that and all of a sudden, about 4 months ago, it just took off! Now my site is about 18 months old and I feel re-energized.

I am really in to multiple streams of income-a little here and a little there-to make one big income.

Carennedy, starting any business takes time. Your networking meeting could help you a lot. Perhaps you need an impartial person to look over your business and how you're doing it and make suggestions. I couldn't have gotten my website where it is without that kind of expert advice from others.

I think your concept is very good but worrying and fear tend to stifle the creative juices. Take a deep breath and try to relax and visulize where you want to be in a year and how you'll feel about reaching your goal. Keep that picture in your mind.

Joan

What you said is interesting, Joan. I've been focusing on the internet for almost a year. My web traffic increases every month, but sometimes it can seem really slow! However, I'm still doing what I can to increase my traffic like free article submissions, publishing an ezine that people can forward and even posting on Bella.

That's something else I just realized helps my stress...having a plan! I know what I need to do next (information products). I just have to keep focused on my goal and do what I need to do.

What did you do specifically to build your website traffic before you left it to simmer in the search engines?

Please bear with me, I feel I need to give some background to the last 6 months.

In April I was working as an account manager for an oil supply company and loved the job but due to certain limitations on the company being able to deliver and other issues I decided to quit. It is a long story but everyone I talked to before I made the decision in the industry and personal said I had no choice.

This was my 4th job in 2 years, I was laid off, I was fired, and I worked at home depot to bring in cash until I could find a career job as and account manager. So to quit a job I was striving for and loved doing was hard. It also meant no money coming in. I started Carennedy Solutions and the first effort put me $1,000.00 in the hole and got me one angry husband, who now looks at me like I'm a failure.

My husband, a negative overly stressed man at the best of times, decided enough was enough I'd had my chance to make it in the big city and we were moving back to the Okanagan. Moving back to the Okanagan to me was admitting I was a failure in the big world and I couldn't make it on my own. I was devistated but looked at it as an opportunity, started as a rep for Latasia Jewellery and went to live with my parents 'til we could find a place in order to get the kids settled for school.

4 days after I moved my husband got a call from a drilling company to interview for his dream career. As a mechanic, even a self employed working from home one, he was miserable and we had invested years and 10s of thousands of dollars for him to get his pilot's licenses. Part of his stress and negativity was he couldn't find a job that paid as pilot - lots of $5.00 a week jobs and $12.00/hr loading bags & gasing up plane's in Fort Mac jobs -- if you know anything about Fort Mac you'd know you can't live on $12/hr in Fort Mac. People that work at Tim Horton's make $25.00 /hr. So to get a call to go fly and be a mechanic and make a mechanics wage was too good of a chance to pass up. So I told him to call the dealership in Kelowna and ask them to hold the job and try to get this flying job. So he stayed in Calgary and I stayed in the Okanagan (6 hrs. apart) and it took 1 and half months for him to get the job.

In the meantime I had thrown everything I had and more into promoting Latasia to the Vernon - Penticton areas and went into debt as a result. It took a month and a half but then I was beginning to make really good profits, due to the high margin. But by then it was time to move back to Calgary and start all over again.

My husband pays the mortgage and bills. If we want to eat I need to sell something. So he now lives in Ponoka (2.5 hrs from Calgary) and I'm a single mom here with a kid in Kindergarten & another in grade 3. I did sell $900.00 of jewellery last week so things are beginning to look good money wise and I can breath.

There has been a lot of change, and a lot of failure in the last year, a year I was hoping to be one full of success due to the hard time I had the year before.

I was feeling the crunch last week as I would run into more selfish people and had no support of my own. I figured out who my real friends were last week. It is rare for me to have those moments of crisis but when I do I do. With my husband thinking I'm a failure and my mother telling me to go get a real job and my husband bitching about money and his mom asking me why I wasn't looking for work or wasn't going to move the kids to a third school in the spring to be closer to my husband.... I don't know how these people think I can get a job when I have to take the kids to school for 8:00am and then pick up my daughter at 10:30 am and my son at 2:30pm have them all evening and weekends when my husband can't make it home, which in the oil field will be most of the time for the next 5 months.

I just vented huge, something I don't usually do with friends let alone online to strangers.... but AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Now you know why I was a little impatient and down last week. Things are better this week and I can handle selfish motives again.

Venting is good Girl It helps alot. Yep you are right you find out who your real friends are when the tough times come. Also sad to say family wise also. You know what it makes YOU stronger and YOU are NOT a failure girl. Just had a rough voyage in the sea for a spell. You hold that head high. Things will work out. Keep the faith. Whistle or hum.

I'm whistling dixie.....


Things are looking up I have a number of interested WAHM coming next Tuesday to the network meeting to learn about Cooperative marketing and how it can benefit them.

Doing my business plan really did help because it made me refocus on how it was all going to come together. I just didn't know which bite to take first.

As well, Some products I ordered from my store came in and they ended up lookiing way better than I thought. I was really impressed with the clock, the calendar, and the christmas cards. Ok that's a plug! The mug though -- not sure what happened but I'm not happy with the quality of the image.

And the coffee is amazing...... it came Friday and I gotta tell ya if you get a chance to buy coffee from costa rica you should. OK another shameless plug.

I'm excited OK ... Which is way better then where I was last week.

Congratulations, Shannon! I'm glad to hear things are looking up.

Look at how far you have come Thanks for sharing your story. Isn't success that much sweeter when you know how much you've invested into your dream?

This makes me think of another stressor us Entrepreneur women face. So many people don't believe in our dream, our businesses, until they see it paying off according to their own perceptions. We need to keep our own personal vision strong in front of us.

Actually, that is something I do. I regularly visualize my business as thriving and developing exactly as I hoped it would. I then keep that vision in my mind and regularly tell myself I CAN do this! My future is up to me and no one else. Of course, I need to make sure I'm keeping my thoughts on this positive track in order to support my vision. (I can't remember if I'm repeating myself on this thread. If so, my apologies.)

What do some of you other women entrepreneurs do to overcome the stress when someone close to you doesn't believe in your ability to succeed at what you are doing?

Remember, there may be someone who reads this who really needs to hear what you have to share.

Wow! Great conversation here.

The thing that signficantly reduces my stress is maintaining a strategic long-term view of what I do.

I am currently married to an active military member, which means that I have to constantly adjust...and readjust...and readjust.

So...after a lot of movement and change and feeling like I was living my life in constant state of unsettleness caused by the "just-waiting-until-we-have-to-move-again" reality of military life.

I had to look at my life for what it was. I had to take the good and the bad...and stare myself in the face...and say "what is it that you REALLY want to use your life to do...and to be."

Then I had to equip myself with the tools, strategy and patience required to make it happen.

And yes...I was forced to stare my reality in it's face and then design my action plan in such a way that what I do works in congruence with my reality.

I also have to accept a reality-based fact of life: there will be some bad days mixed in with the good.

Thus, this meant that I had to define success in such a way that it meshed with my reality.

It was then that my personalized-definition success emerged.

My personal measure of success was to challenge myself to continually move at least one step - or even one thought - closer to what it was that I wanted to accomplish with my life.

Thus, I began to rest more peacefully at night, knowing that I was at least one step - or even one thought - closer to what I wanted to use my life to accomplish.

This simple principle has helped me to keep moving toward my goal despite having to constantly adjust to military pressures, geographic relocations, and family re-adjustments.

For me the path to success requires a sagacious dose of stick-to-it-ness mired in purpose, strategy, clarity, and passion-driven action.

For way too long...I stood in the recesses of life...just waiting.

But I can't want no more. I must use my voice, my gifts, and my my talents to release a sparked-passion into the world.

Thanks for listening...I look forward to hearing from more of you soon!

Totally understand -- that in itself is stressful.....

YOU GO GIRL!!!!!! KEEP ON CHUGGING TO SUCCESS

Latarsha, I was raised in a military family and we moved a lot. When I compare my life to others my age who lived in one place all their lives, I wouldn't trade my experiences for anything.

I like your attitude! Taking a larger view of life in general can make the small details less worrisome.

Hi Tami
Thank you for your welcome. I haven't been on the forum for a few days. Everything you say is true, stress is definately fear and the things that I am worrying about are not life and death situations. I will try to remember that.If it does not work out, I just go back get a job and thats that. It's the "as one door closes another one opens" philosophy we have here in Ireland! Life is a journey of ups and downs and it is the way we cope with the downs and enjoy the ups that make the difference. I agree with one of the other posters who tries to live in the moment. When I try to live in the moment I feel way more relaxed because we cannot control the future and worrying about it is pointless because we cannot possibly know how things are going to work out - I should heed my own advice! I like the idea of embracing life situations as and when they arise and treating them all as learning experiences.

I Love this Forum ! messy houses, waiting for websites to take off, risking everything to start up alone, hubbies away, kids, stress- it s all here! Why do we do it?? (Becuase we need to know we can?)

Siobhain
Short Stories Editor (new)

Do pop over and see me too - That would help My stress !! (10 Years! - hope i dont have to wait that long!)

Hello Ladies, I so appreciate you all sharing from your heart. After all, I kinda think this is what this Forum is meant to be about. We're here to encourage each other as Business Women while also giving each other business tips. I invite you all to create specific threads on topics we can really enjoy and help each other with.

I like the emphasis on living in the moment in your comments. Just today I realized that I have sometimes created stress for myself lately by pushing forward a little too fast without always enjoying the moment. Now I feel so much lighter as I'm focusing on "simply being me" while enjoying each and every step.

Here I thought I was doing that, but somehow I got distracted. Now I'm back on track and full of joy!

Tami,

I know what you mean. Pushing forward is like an ebb and flow kind of thing.

There are moments where you have to put your blinders on and just push yourself forward with all your might...while there are other more tender moments when all you really need is to give yourself a moment to breathe...and to think.

The real mark of making your business a reality is to recognize each moment as it comes...and to evaluate each moment on it's own merit.

As business owners we must recognize that success rarely happens as a result of one particular action...it happens as a result of a series of consecutive actions - each one building on the momentum exerted by the last.

Tami you've started a great thread here and have been very supportive. You are an asset.

Have you solved the website issue yet.

Shannon, it's funny you would ask about the website... I just posted the answer on the other thread. Thanks for thinking of me. I appreciate your presence on Bella as well.

Latarsha, it's good to have you here too. Your words make me think of how everything we do towards our business is an investment that keeps adding up. It's OK to stop to smell the roses for a few minutes because everything isn't hinging on that one moment. Every step forward is progress and all those steps add up! It also means that the payoffs to some of the investments we've made are still coming even when we take a few minutes to rejuvenate.

A few things actually:-
- Enjoying a glass of wine,
- Nice long bath,
- Patting my cats,
- Exercise - I've found I often can't sleep if I'm mentally exhausted - physically exhausted, I always sleep well.
- Yoga
- Time out - just sitting quietly enjoying my own company after a mad day at work.
- Cooking - I turn my brain off work and start chopping onions, mixing and stirring...heaven.

Tami,

I couldn't have said it better myself.

For me, it's about cumulative impact.

I can't lie awake at night bothered by a long list of to-dos because it's such a distraction.

Instead, I use my nighttime energy to congratulate myself on the small steps I made...and then top it off with laying out plans for the next small step.

And over time, I promise...all those small steps WILL add up.

In fact, it's a blast to watch how each small step adds to the big picture.

And then, each day I can go to bed with a smile on my face and satisfaction in my heart that I have used my life to make a definite difference in the lives of others.

Which is my bottom-line measure of success.

You sound exactly like me Deborah! I swear...I could have written that list word for word.

Exercise is a must. It makes an enormous difference for me. I've been pretty diligent about yoga for the last few months. It's addicting, and seems to take care of the exercise plus the deep breathing and meditation at the same time. It takes a little longer than, say, going for a run, but it's time well spent.

I find that doing my best at any given moment reduces my stress quite a bit. And by "Doing my Best," that doesn't mean pushing myself until I drop - that means being honest about what my best is at any given moment.

Somedays I'm a business rock star. Others, my best is just getting through the day without eating my weight in french fries. But as long as I've done my best for the given moment, the given day, I have nothing to beat myself up about or stress out over.

Aaaaahhh-hhh ! Finishing the last article for the last deadline before Christmas - now that's a real stress-buster and what Ive just achieved!

Funny how so many of us do exactly as deborah does! Me too!

I will now give myself a treat - browsing and choosing a website!

Way to go, Siobhain! I hope you can really enjoy Christmas even more now.

I find it fun looking at website possibilities for a website I'm planning too. Who did you end up going with for a website hosting company?

I find that escaping into TV or work or the computer takes away stress until I'm faced with the piled up stress of reality.

Hahahahaha!

Don't we all know what it's like to escape on our computer? Otherwise, we wouldn't be on Bella! However, perhaps we should call it "Procrastinated Stress" because we really don't escape it, we sometimes just make it worse.

Hi Gals,

I did something to really reduce my stress around my Business. I gave myself permission to do the absolute bare minimum for two weeks over the holidays. It was wonderful! I didn't realize how I had unconsciously slipped into "striving" again until I stopped. I am so much more relaxed.

Outside of supporting my ongoing coaching clients, I did very little writing and even decided that it was OK that I didn't put my Success Tips Ezine out for New Year's Eve when so many people are doing New Year's Resolutions. I AM WORTH TAKING A BREAK!

So dear women who read this, remember YOU are more important than your business! You are just as important as your clients and your well being is essential. It feels wonderful to prioritize yourself!

What do you need to do to lower YOUR stress today?

My PA..."S"
She's been on leave for the last month and even though, work has scaled back over the Christmas break - boy, have I missed her!
I know she reduces my stress levels in lots of ways and deals with so many things that would otherwise, end up on my desk.
I can rely on her...
She's also, flexible...we work as a team - she'll stay back if we're trying to meet a deadline or arrive early with no complaint, we get each other coffee and often, dine together.
We often enjoy a glass of wine together after a hectic day or I'll pick up some cakes for afternoon tea after she's worked very hard meeting a deadline. It works so well...
She's back on the 14th - I'll have a box of her favourite peppermint chocolate frogs waiting...

Massage. For me, it's physically necessary, too as I get terrible muscle spasms and knots and massage helps more than medicine. But, it is very relaxing, too and I try to clear my mind and focus on really enjoying it and destressing.

I am trying to convince myself to go every month this year.

A massage.... mmmmmmm....... Ya in my dreams maybe. 'til then I'll keep escaping or maybe I really should just try cleaning the house for a change.....

I worked hard right through the Christmas holidays trying to get my online store ready for 2008 and my website store revamped. I finished finally on Friday Jan 4th after working a straight 36 hours. I was tired but now the online stuff can be done for 1 hour before bed - includes Squidoo, uploading a new design into the store, and posting here.

One day a week I'll post ads on kijiji and froogle, I'll blog, work on my website-adding all the new reviews I'm going to be getting and adding some affiliate products to the store that kind of thing.

I bought a book to start reading... Smart woman and Small Business. I also started the Secret by Rhonda Bryne, a gift from a friend at Christmas.

I feel set for this week to start without any stress..... tomorrow.... house cleaning and laundry.

To check out the online store you can either go through my websiteBellaOnline ALERT: Raw URLs are not allowed in these forums for security reasons. Please use UBB code. If you don't know how to do UBB code just post here for help - we will help out!

massage, that's really good. I mostly take my break going for a hike or spend time at the beach.

I've just learned a quick and new "Pure Awareness" Technique in which I step back from a particularly stressful emotion and see what it's like to view it from the outside. It's a great place of realizing that the stress is completely separate from me. I suddenly find myself relaxed and stress free.

Well I still haven't cleaned the house, still escaping into the computer world, another store, that makes 5 total, and 1 sale. One step at a time, or is that one bite at a time.

Here's what I do...

Instead of putting too much focus on fulfilling what my clients want, I emphasize on giving myself a relaxing time. But instead of just by doing it myself, I invite my client to join me to go bowling, play golf or karaoke together. Not only it has reduce my stress at work, I have an enjoyable time with my clients and they are very happy with my service.

Talk about achieving two things at the same time.

Izrul Fizal

the greatest stress for my business was being involved in only one business.
i started out in jewelry making years back. not that many people were doing it back then. and then all of a sudden everyone is a "designer" and the market became flooded. i went from sustainable income to no income to speak of.

i sat down and wrote on paper all of my skills. pondered for quite a while which ones i'd feel comfortable offering the public and gave it a go.

that was 7 years ago when i was out of work. then i ended up staying home to take care of my dear mother who was dying. Mom went home to Heaven and i stayed working at home, and further refined my goals, objectives, professionalism, etc.

i'm still at home today and review my business plan every quarter (every 3 months) and move on it according to which way the wind is blowing at the time.

when i get really stressed, i do pray for guidance, and i also shut the computer off and do something creative. that way i have a chance to assess the situation, make a plan and later i get back on the computer and research my thoughts. if it passes my "is it viable" test, i move on it. if not, i think some more.

my mom taught me that. i used to cry and get upset. she taught me the difference between a really critical junction in business and something that is unpleasant and will pass.

Hmmm... Stress...

Stress is a weird thing. Just enough - and it helps you grow in ways you wouldn't have had it not been there. So I'm grateful for the lessons stress brings, sometimes. Too much, though, and it really hurts your health.

And as the boss of my body and of my business - it is of utmost importance that I stay healthy.

I write, play music, and take breaks when I need to. Being the owner of my business I can take time to stretch, dance, talk to my own Coach (yes, good Business Coaches use coaches of their own), and even sometimes "nap on it" when I've got decisions stressing me out.

I also make sure to "unplug" and take entire days or weekends away from the computer, tv, radio, newspaper and phone. Seriously, if you haven't tried this, do it. It SO works for those of us who are always too plugged in. Visit with friends, take a class unrelated to work, or get out in nature. It really recharges the batteries!