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#351863 - 11/02/07 06:55 AM And they wonder why we don't want them!
Kt-n-Luke Offline

Registered: 08/02/07
Posts: 120
It was the screaming temper tantrum of a 3 year old yesterday that confirmed, once again, that I have zero tolerance for whining children and zero desire to have one of my own when I see this occurring.

A woman I work with brought in her two daughters during the work day yesterday. They're 3 years and 6 mos. The 6 month old is adorable and very laid back. She didn't make a peep unless she was laughing.

The 3 year old was sitting on the floor in our hallway which is surrounded by offices in a usually very quiet office screaming, "I WANT MY DADDY!" in her mom's face. Her mom's only tactic was to say, "You're not getting your snack unless you be quiet" or "Come on and race me down the hall!" to get her daughter's mind off of her apparent desire for daddy. I think I heard the 3 year old say that 100 times within 30 minutes until finally daddy came to pick them all up for a lunch date and the office was silent again! (And of course dad thought it was adorable that his little girl had missed him so much while mom is frazzled and it's only 11am)

I am the only voluntarily childless person in our small office, so I am the only one with a very unpleasant aftertaste in my mouth after this occurence. All others are happily parents and just calmly would smile and say "Guess mommy is having a bad day today!". It made me appreciate being able to enjoy kids when they are being good and then hand them over to the parents to let them handle the dirty work.

Living Without Children - Automated Note
For New Visitors: This forum exists as a support community for people who are living a child-free existence. This area is here to help nurture, inspire and educate those who, for whatever reason, are living their lives without children in the home.

Posts made here must be supportive of this lifestyle choice. Comments should not question a person's decision to or reasons for being child free. Those negative comments are called "bingoing" or "trolling" and are not allowed. Please be sure you are aware of this forum's intentions and rules before posting!

#351865 - 11/02/07 07:10 AM Re: And they wonder why we don't want them! [Re: Kt-n-Luke]
lostanddesperate0601 Offline

Registered: 10/29/07
Posts: 20
Makes perfect sense to me Katie. I think now and days kids are not disciplined as they were when we were growing up. My parents definitely went by the be seen not heard statement. I knew how to act when we went out. Of course all kids have thier moments but I knew if I acted up, I would get it.

And I do appreciate having my time and no kids. People say I'm missing out on so much but mmmmm....nope....I think I can definitely deal without the screaming and crying. I have no patience for kids unless they are happy and as soon as they aren't I can give them back to thier parents!!! LOL!

#351927 - 11/02/07 10:37 AM Re: And they wonder why we don't want them! [Re: lostanddesperate0601]
indigo2 Offline

Registered: 05/10/05
Posts: 351
Loc: Buffalo, NY
i agree that the screaming, whining(it makes my skin crawl!), and tantrums is just awful! i work with kids too and i can handle a lot of things except the above. when it does occur i tell the kids i watch that it doesn't work with me! i really can't stand how parents just cow-tow to kids when they engage in that kind of behavior. my mother would NEVER have tolerated that from me! she would have put me in my room to cry, scream or whatever until i got it out of my system and then probably said something like"you done now!"i have a kid who i watch at the gym and i hate to say it but i;ll be honest who sometimes is a total brat. she's the type of kid who will scream and cry until she gets what she wants. well she doesnt' get it from me. if it goes on for over 5 minutes i make her mom take her and that's that. sometimes i'll just ignore her and when she realizes it doesn't faze me she stops. i don't know why more parents just do that.

i also like watching kids when they're good and returning them. it's such a great feeling!


#351944 - 11/02/07 11:24 AM Re: And they wonder why we don't want them! [Re: indigo2]
Pikasam Offline

Registered: 04/17/07
Posts: 793
Loc: Calgary, Canada
I've lost count of the number of times I've seen a tantrum throwing, out of control child performing merry hell, and thought "I am SO grateful that I don't have to take that home with me".
Childfree? Join us at www.thechildfreelife.com.

#351991 - 11/02/07 03:03 PM Re: And they wonder why we don't want them! [Re: Pikasam]
Lisa_Orlando Offline

Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1112
Years ago, I used to work in the mall, you would NOT believe the things I saw there. It was a new store so there were times during the week that it was DEAD slow.

The funniest thing I ever saw was this little boy who was whining and crying to his Mom about something, she turned away from him so he fell on the floor in a full temper tantrum, she turned and walked away from him...well needless to say he looked up and saw he didn't have an audience and ran after his Mom.

Thank god I didn't get stuck with a kid that does that. The only thing my daughter did was when I would try and make her try new food, she went through a stage where she would say it made her sick and she was going to throw up, she even seemed to be gagging, I told her "if you make yourself throw up, your cleaning it up." I told her to finish her food and be quick about it or I was going to shovel it down her throat for her and walked away from the table. Nothing annoys me MORE then children who play that kind of game.

I used to have a girlfriend whose daughter would sit at the table ALLNIGHT rather then eat something she didn't want. Every meal was a nightmare. I noticed that even after they got her to eat it, she went directly to the bathroom, I told her that I thought she was throwing her food up, which they found she was.

Another thing I couldn't stand are those kids that will not go to sleep for their parents. I lucked out on that as well. I am worthless without sleep, god or karma knew it and gave me a child that has always slept well. Even now at 10 years old she is sleeping 10 hours a night which is recommended by doctors.

#352006 - 11/02/07 04:26 PM Re: And they wonder why we don't want them! [Re: Lisa_Orlando]
CFFB Offline

Registered: 08/08/07
Posts: 543
Originally Posted By: Lisa_Orlando
I used to have a girlfriend whose daughter would sit at the table ALLNIGHT rather then eat something she didn't want. Every meal was a nightmare. I noticed that even after they got her to eat it, she went directly to the bathroom, I told her that I thought she was throwing her food up, which they found she was.

This is actually quite amusing to me. As a kid I would sit there for up to two hours while my mother waited for me to eat my veges. Usually it was peas, which to this day I still can't stand (unless they are raw). My mother hadn't worked out yet that I would love to eat raw veges - I just hated them soggy, which is how they were cooked in those days. Anyway, I fast worked out that if I stuffed all the peas into my cheeks and pretended to need to go to the toilet, I could spit them all down and flush them away.

#352124 - 11/03/07 01:59 PM Re: And they wonder why we don't want them! [Re: CFFB]
Lisa_Orlando Offline

Registered: 08/22/07
Posts: 1112
That kind of situation with a child is about a power struggle. I have learned to NEVER loose a power struggle with a child or they tend to forget who is the parent.

I have never had to go to the point of sending her to bed with no food because she would usually give in and eat. BUT long before I would allow a child to sit there for hours and NOT eat, I would send her butt too bed with no dinner and warm the food up for breakfast and make her eat it then.

I have never been unreasonable, its not like I ask her to eat outrageous things but honestly, broccoli is pretty tame.

#352216 - 11/04/07 06:42 AM Re: And they wonder why we don't want them! [Re: Lisa_Orlando]
Athena_Marina Offline

Registered: 05/30/07
Posts: 476
I know I work with kids and actually I'm WAAY firmer than I used to be but actually I do NOT like disciplining kids and do not want to have to have my own and have to discipline them, tell them no and no again! I feel so mean! I know as a parent I would have to because if I didn't they'd probably grow up a train wreck so if I had kids I WOULD discipline them and be firm but fair but I already know - from what I do for work and how mean I feel even there, and they're not even my OWN! - that I would HATE doing so!!
Also I feel upset when someone says a kid in my class has been misbehaving but I imagine if my child's teacher for e.g. told told me my child had say hit another child I would be I'm sure 10x more upset!!!
So I'm opting out!
Oh, but i'm good with the food too Lisa_Orlando! I would do exactly the same!!
I leave the child-rearing to people who feel called to it. I've never felt that call.

#352277 - 11/04/07 02:02 PM Re: And they wonder why we don't want them! [Re: Athena_Marina]
lngilbert Offline

Registered: 02/02/07
Posts: 2002
The other night I was at work and a family came upstairs. There was mom, dad, 5-year-old daughter and baby brother. The girl was crying really hard. Mom was yelling, "you embarrassed me! You really embarrassed me! You will NEVER act like that ever again!"

The girl continued to cry really hard, and Mom yelled, "what is the MATTER with you? Why are you crying?" And Dad looked really mad, too.

Gee, I can't imagine what could POSSIBLY be the matter.

It's times like these that I want to say something, but I don't. I mean, who does? You have an angry parent yelling at the kid, then they're going to yell at you. And probably complain about you to your boss (maybe if I wasn't at work and saw some lady treating her kid like that somewhere else I'd say something.)

What a HORRIBLE parent!

And I know this has been discussed before, but why, oh WHY can't anyone say anything to parents anymore? I mean, no matter what anyone says, yelling at a 5-year-old like that is WAY out of line!
You can't take the sky from me ...

#352300 - 11/04/07 04:42 PM Re: And they wonder why we don't want them! [Re: lngilbert]
Malamutes own me Offline

Registered: 02/21/07
Posts: 208
I have to admit, I said something to a parent one day. It didn't end particularly well (possibly because I do look about 16). He was in the dairy aisle with his 3 daughters ranging in age from about 5-9. The man had obviously lost it and was yelling at the girls who were merely trying to help him by telling him which ones Mum would buy.

I was hanging back at first (basically because I needed to get some cheese and they were in front of it) but after a couple of minutes I'd heard enough. I asked him if he needed any help and complimented him on how quiet and well behaved his children were. He lost it. I hadn't even said anything about his behaviour and he lost it anyway. I got told that I was meddling and his children were (insert bad language here). It was shocking. I left without some of my groceries and now, I have to admit, I don't offer to help people screaming at their kids.

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