BellaOnline Forums Food and Wine Etiquette Help with Invitations!!

Okay -- here's my predicament. I am organizing a banquet and reception that is going to be a combination of a birthday party for my mother (her 75th) and my niece's bat mitzvah reception. We decided to merge the two since we have a lot of out of town relatives.

There will be some people coming only for the birthday party, and some people coming only for the bat mitzvah.

How do I handle invitations so that those people who are not coming for both the birthday and bat mitzvah do not feel weird about not having bought gifts for both women of honor?

The best way I can think to do it is to send out 3 different invitations.
1 that is inviting only to the birthday party
1 that is inviting only to the bat mitzvah
and 1 that invites to both

And then at the reception itself, set gift tables up on opposite sides of the room, maybe with a picture of the honoree on each table.

You might also consider doing two separate cakes and having them set up on either side of the room also. So that is has the feel of 2 parties in one room, rather than two parties combined together. Even decorations could be split down the middle if you really wanted to have fun with the theme.

That's what I was thinking too... My remaining concern though is that some of the people invited only to one may feel obliged to provide gifts for both once they learn about it. Can you think of a way I could let them know about the duality of the party and to tell them they do not need to bring a gift for the other? The people who fall into this category would be my niece's friends, and some of my mother's friends and associates.

Since you seem to have particular people in mind for this, you might just mention it to them over the phone.

If you are having called-in RSVPs, then you could say "BTW, just so you waon't be surprisd - we are doung a joint party, but I didn't want you to feel obligated" etc.

If people aren't calling in their RSVPs, then you might just call them up and say, "Some people have been concerned about this, but I wanted to let you know that bringing a gift to both parties is not expected".

And then some people are just going to do it, anyway, and there's no way of talking them out of it!

I agree! or you could put a note at the bottom of the cards for the single party goers that there is actualy to parties in one but gifts for the other party is not expected...

Wow that is a little akeward to write....

Good luck!

I suggest using: invite.evumeet.com . You can send as many invitations for free as you like. Personalize a home page for each invitation. Setup a separate gift list, gallery, forums etc for each invite. Each group of guests can reply/rsvp separately. Hope this help.

Jays