BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Drifting into childfree?

Definitely - a baker is always welcome!

Hey, then come on down to Auckland for dessert! Deborah,you never know, I will be in Melbourne in February speaking at a conference at the Arts Centre!

It was great to read through this thread again today. I had a major "kodak-moment" panic yesterday - partly hormones and partly that my step-son turned 21 and I was looking through a powerpoint of photos that his Mum's partner had put together with his old photos. (Literally a kodak moment....) DH was emotional for the old days of when step-son was a kid and a bit morose, and I was feeling left out and awful and thinking I would never look at pics of my kid. Then we went for a walk on the beach to feel better and everywhere we went were Dads building sandcastles with their boys and nobody looked harassed - they looked all happy. I nearly came home and put a plea on the forum for you guys to talk sense into me. Fortunately I got over that little hurdle and am back to feeling OK and happily CF again now. Helped by the fact that at his 21st dinner last night, stepson told DH that he (DH) is a pessimistic person and always has been. DH was so hurt by this comment, and it reminded me how darned hard and heartbreaking bringing up children can be.

I guess I just have to ride through these occasional moments until the pendulum stops swinging (and the clock stops ticking!)...

Poor Feebee ... those moments are really hard. Glad to hear that you got through it okay.

Thanks Ingilbert. This forum has been great for helping me to recognise what these moments are. ie they are not a deep sign from the universe that I need to have a baby immediately!

I think they could actually be more hormonal at times then anything else.

The reality is that while you see those kids playing on the beach so nicely, when they get home, they are probably hell on wheels. Your only seeing half the story.

When I look at babies now, I don't feel the baby lust anymore, I think about things like changing diapers, the smell, the laundrey that had to be done, the crying...I did well with her when she was born 10 years ago but I am past all that now.