BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development how do you improve yourself?

Jase, you are getting a deal at that tea room! Less than $5 a day is great for lunch away from home!

There are several reasons.

The other job has to do with writing, which has been a dream of mine since i was nine. It helps someone i care about very much. I benefit too by being guided by that person, and they are very good at what they do. I think if i get good at writing, i have the potential to earn good money one day (six figures is my goal) and be able to do many things i wish, and looking at other possibilities, i think this is my best bet.

I am sad that i am not more prolific at it yet but i refuse to give up. The thing that seems to get in my way is stress, so it seems to me that situation can only improve the more familiar and regular it becomes to me, and as i grow more confident in writing.

Some days, with stress, my mind just goes absolutely blank. I get that "doe in the headlights" stupidity. I can write naturally until i think my writing counts for something and then i get stupid. I've tried getting around it with little tricks like posting and then turning my post into an article, but it doesn't work well because my unconscious knows why i'm doing this and that someone is relying on me and if i don't write i can't be successful at it and so forth.

I think it's a matter of belief. Deep down inside, i don't believe i can be successful and i don't believe i can be lucky, and i don't believe my dreams can come true. I've had it drummed into me so cruely over the years that i can't do anything right and unfortunately, i finally came to believe it right down to my unconscious. I don't know what to do about it except to soldier on.

Holly, the one thing we can control in this life is our minds. So, reprogram. Take back the power you gave to whomever to tell you that. What makes them so all-knowing anyway? Who are they to say what you are capable of?

Then, drum it into yourself that you are a fabulous, prize-winning writer. Create your own Awesome Writer Award & post it where you will see it everyday. Write yourself a check for royalties on your future best-seller (Jim Carey did this when he was trying to make it in Hollywood). Call yourself a writer.

And, when those doubts and fears come up, just tell them to shut the heck up. Writers write and you are writing. End of discussion. Would they like to see your awards? LOL--seriously, act like you are a successful writer and you will be one.

And, when your mind goes blank with stress, write about the stress. Ramble on until you get it out of your system--then write what you want to. Sometimes it helps to exaggerate your fears until you see how silly they are. "I can't write a single decent word. I suck. Nobody writes worse than me." and you know that's not true, so you just put it aside and write what you want to write.

By the way, 99% of writers think they suck. Even the great ones often think they are writing [censored]. They just keep writing it anyway. And, that's what makes a writer.

I keep trying to think of J.K. Rowling writing Harry Potter while she was on welfare... going to that little cafe to stay warm. She was a late bloomer.

I feel a little like crying today. The awards is a good idea. Wish my printer were working. I got blasted a bit recently. Someone told me to quit trying to write, that i'm a failure at it. I know they didn't mean it... they were just having a very bad day. But you are right... i need to choose to reprogram.

Seeds don't look like anything before they germinate. Even once they do, they don't look like much. They still need good water and soil, and lots of patience, don't they? I'm like a sprouted seed. Nothing to show, yet, but that doesn't mean i won't be a tall tree.

Thanks for the encouragement!!!

Holly - Meryl Streep's acting teacher told her she didn't have what it takes to become an actress....
Don't ever listen to someone telling you what you cannot do.
This is a horrible mistake on their part.

Good luck

Yes it is a good deal. I just got my october tab and it was a whopping 80 bucks ;0)

I love working at a business that is part of three businesses. Our set-up is three seperate businesses sharing a large building that used to be a downtown JCPenny's. I get a discount on my vitamins and supplements (30%) from the health food store downstairs, and then my 25% off from the tea room. Then at the spa I get 30% off massage, facials, pedicures, and wraps, pay cost for color, and free mani's and haircuts. Sometimes I can get free other stuff as well if I trade services. Waxing is free too. LOL

Wow, how cool is all that? I'd be broke before I left the place. I'm a sucker for spa treatments, especially massages. In fact, I need one! LOL

yeah, I have to budget myself. I allow myself one paid service every two weeks. Plus my color only costs 5 bucks so that doesn't count, neither does my bi-weekly haircuts.

Today I had to give up my massage for a paying client. It's the choice between me paying 30 dollars or a client paying 75. Of course we go with the client. And we understand this policy when we put our names down for services. Clients come first even on our days off

Thirty dollars--I'm telling you I'd be broke!

Today in the mail I got a birthday card from the spa I go to with a special for an hour and a half massage for the price of an hour massage! I'm so there! My birthday is Nov 30, but I'll never make it that long! LOL

LOL what is their 90 minute price if I can ask. 60 minutes too?

You can check out our prices (even though I know you are in TN) at www.therandrspa.com