BellaOnline Forums Career Fiction Writing It was a dark and stormy night...

Hey guys - wait for me - I havent even done the first one yet!

How about:

"....as the slates rattled on the roof and the weatherboarding was slapped with such force that the shutters shook, the warring heavens were sliced by the earthing of a towering spark of cold radiation white."

er - did I get carried away and lose the "active" bit?

Yes - you've started the first part active, and then slipped back into passive from "weatherboarding was slapped..." onwards.

thought so - its a terrible habit and a hard one to break - is there ever a place for it?

Passive voice is great for non-fiction writing because it allows for neutrality. You can use passive voice in fiction if it's appropriate; it's just that if the active form makes for a stronger sentence, you want to make use of that.

The starless night was shrouded with thick foreboding darkness with nary a soul brave enough to venture into the rain tossed landscape. The only respite to this unending darkess was the terrfying displays of power by the ungoverned lighting followed by the distant rumble of the ancient gods, awaiting to release their unsated anger on the ungaurded.

here u go.. my two cents in. a newbie

Still passive voice...