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A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed home.

He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

"Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen."

God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. -

He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened the kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home and picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping, then drove home to put away the groceries, paid the bills and balanced the check book. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog.

Then it was already 1P.M. and he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home. Set out milk and cookies and

got the kids organized to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

At 4:30 he began peeling potatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.

At 9 P.M. he was exhausted and, though his daily chores weren't finished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said: -"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh! oh! please, let us trade back."

The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied:

"My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait nine months though.......... you became pregnant last night."

A drunk was staggering down the main street of town. Somehow, he managed to make it up the stairs to the cathedral and into the building, where he crashed from pew to pew. He finally made his way to a side aisle and into a confessional. A priest had been observing the man's sorry progress. Figuring the fellow was in need of some assistance, he proceeded to enter his side of the confessional. His attention was rewarded only by a lengthy silence. Finally he asked, "May I help you, my son?" "I dunno." came the drunk's voice from behind the partition. "You got any toilet paper on your side?"

HAHHAHAHAHAHA.... i loved the punchline on that first one!

The second one i'd heard before... it's good!

Those are so funny! I had heard the first one before but had to read it outloud to my husband. It was really cute, especially the last part. The second one I had not heard before but laughed myself silly at the punch line. OH, THE THOUGHT!!

I needed thoses laughs! Thanks!

Trish

After the first
takeoff of the fully
automatic airplane, the passengers heard the soothing,
reassuring voice
of the pilot: �Ladies and gentlemen, this is your
automatic pilot.
In my modern and carefully tested sytem an error is
absolutely
impossible, absolutely impossible, absolutely impossible,
��

How many lawyers does it take to
change a
lightbulb?
None, they�d rather keep their clients in the dark.

Lawyer: �Now that you have been acquitted,

will you tell me truly? Did you steal the car?�
Client: �After hearing your amazing argument in court this morning,
I�m beginning to think I didn�t.�

�How can I ever thank you?� gushed a woman to
her lawyer, after he had solved her legal troubles.
�My dear woman,� lawyer replied,
�Ever since the Phoenicians invented money
there has been only one
answer to that easy question.�

Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?

A: His lips move (or her!)

Why are there no Irish lawyers?

They can never pass the bar !