BellaOnline Forums Beauty and Self Self Development Self esteem

I am desperately sorry people here go through such dreadful periods of abject internal pain. I think of you with much Love and Compassion (please - I hope nobody considers this patronising, I mean it with all my heart) and I offer up "prayers" for your relief and happiness.

Thank you both

In one of the best sermons I ever heard was this little jewel: "Being you must be pretty important, or God would not have created you." This helped me. Hope it helps someone else.

I had an "extreme mom," an experience that permanently affected my self esteem. I try my best to remind myself that God's opinion of my worth outranks anyone else's!

That gets into the issue of why God would give someone an extreme mom if he loves us so much. Well, to me, he definitely gives us free will. Extreme moms are among the people who aren't using theirs constructively. Free will is not an easy job.

Thank you both, also.

And i'm sorry guys... i'm just kinda "all spleen" this week and blathering.

Those were very nice thoughts, cela. You have a wonderful way of putting things. I agree with you that we are given free will. It is a precious gift, but obviously one we can misuse.

I heard someone say once, "parents aren't able to give what they don't have," and it stuck in my head.

Another thing I have personally heard is that "every parent just does the best they can with what they've got". I guess every perosn has their own agenda, and if a person has an abusive relationship with their parents, or their dad's a drunk, and their mother is uncaring and callous, it's easy to see their parents' faults and condemn them... and yes, indeed, they certainly should bear responsibility for their thoughts words and deeds... but events and experiences helped me to see that all people experience their own personal Pain and obstacles... whilst I would never presume to make excuses for others, I am merely saying that trying to understand that they had problems in their lives they couldn't cope with, made them subects for Compassion. Difficult - maybe impossible - to consider, I do know.... some folks cope better than others... when my parents were young, they did not have the advantages of the countless self-help books available today... they had no access to internet forums and like-minded people with whom to share their troubles... many things were internalised and blocked emotionally... And what a person is unable to face/control/govern within themselves, they will manifest outwardly... this causes them to express themselves very often in a negative, destructive way... so the pain inside is "alleviated" by pushing it outwards...
if they can just dominate and control something/someone else, then they will feel they have more power....
This is what I have learnt thus far, in such matters.
Many may disagree....

With deep bow and respect to all, and the fervent prayer that my words have not offended.

Well, let's see what we can do about our generation, and improving our self esteem.

cela suggested we remember that God values us... Tami said something similar in another thread that it helped her a lot with her self esteem.

What else might we do?

For healthy self esteem we need a strong sense of self worth and confidence.

Many times I was praised for something mediocre I did and ignored when I did something good. In both situations I made own judgment. I get rarely affected by other's opinions.

I think that we should all do that.

Hello Skyhaven,

We ALL have beauty to share, including you. True beauty comes from within. Our bodies are only a shell of who we are. It is our light which illuminates the finest points. If we are staying in the darkness within (especially with negative thoughts about ourselves), how can we expect to illuminate and see our beauty on the outside?

I have seen disfigured people look remarkably beautiful because they glow from within. They have chosen to live fully alive and not hide.

If I'm hearing you correctly on your posts, it sounds like there was some point in your life that you came up with the conclusion, "I am ugly" based on the negative things that happened or the negative words that were said.

What if that's not true? What if your true beauty is hiding in the darkness within because you haven't allowed it to come forward?

What if all you need to do is INVITE your true beauty forward?

What if you took a wild leap of faith and chose to believe you are beautiful and valuable and all those things you've always wished to be?

It's never to late to live fully alive as all of who you REALLY are.

With much warmth,

Tami

Tami,thanks for your insight. what you said really touched me.

Yes Tami. a lovely post.