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#338279 09/04/07 06:55 AM
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many of us play the game- I am a failure!
Give them any advice or tips, they always fail.
How to coach them?

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I used to do this.
One day I broke the pattern.

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I've found that truth is a very powerful weapon in shattering lies (because the truth is we ALL have great value and none of us is a failure!).

I let them know "I" believe in them and that they are NOT a failure. True success is about being ourselves and not comparing ourselves with others.

How can you truly fail at being yourself?

We then plan a success map that focuses on "succeeding at being yourself". We look at their specific gifts and abilities and true DESIRES and invite them forward.

I've seen incredible people suddenly "wake up" and realize they only need to be the great person who already resides within them.


Tami is an Executive Leadership and Business Women's Coach. She invites women to use their genius in business in today's wild economy. http://www.UlimateBusinessCamp.com
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I wrote an article for my Success Tips for Women that someone here might find helpful. Here it is:

What if you couldn't fail?

What if your only true failure lies in not being all of who you already are? This would mean that if you allowed all of your true self, your true talents and your true desires to come forward...there would be no failure at being you. The only crime would be in failing to recognize your own greatness.

So much energy is wasted when we try to be like someone else or when we try to measure up to society's presentation of success. What if you are simply meant to be you? You are unique with a light that is meant to shine and fill a very important place in this world. Your importance and purpose is priceless - there is no other you.

Whatever you've truly hoped to be, you already are. You just need to believe it and embrace all of who you are. You are beautiful; full of value, talent and mystery. You have great passion and purpose...you only need to discover it and live fully alive as your authentic self.

I invite you to stop striving to be someone you are not and embrace the greatness you ALREADY are. There is no failure in being fully you.

Copyright 2006 Tami M. Szabo


Tami is an Executive Leadership and Business Women's Coach. She invites women to use their genius in business in today's wild economy. http://www.UlimateBusinessCamp.com
Tami S #338398 09/04/07 02:04 PM
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I fail myself in so many ways


Rosie L
"Rosie" #338552 09/04/07 11:29 PM
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I understand how you feel, Rosie.

K i K i #339250 09/07/07 11:46 AM
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This is a complex many people have. They refuse to succeed.

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is it really refusal, or is it just hard?

i know for me, sometimes it feels like finding my way out of a maze. Only mazes are easier.

i'd rather have easier answers. I just find that sometimes my behavior even mystifies me. i don't do what i intend.

Last edited by hollyelise; 09/08/07 03:17 AM.
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It is refusal Holly.
It is refusal to accept that we can be success. Why? I think childhood training, experiences and so on.

Manjari #339460 09/08/07 03:27 AM
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I think of refusal as being when a person doesn't want to. I know i want to. I see a lot of people struggle and i believe that most of them want to.

In me, i have trouble believing, and i have fear.

In someone else i can think of (not someone on the forum), i would say they have some unrealistic ideas that get in the way.

Sometimes there is an unwillingness to make the compromises necessary.

I think there are different situations. But to call it refusal ...i see people suffering. I have a hard time calling it refusal when i see people suffering.

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That is true. But some of us refuse to believe that we deserve success.

Manjari #339497 09/08/07 04:38 AM
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are you talking about me?

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I was not talking about you. But why did you think so? Do you think that you do not deserve success?

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Tami, great post!

People become what they think about on a consistent basis. For whatever reason (as you say Manjari, childhood experiences or whatever) if people focus on fear and the possibility of failure, this is what they will bring into their lives.

Wayne Dyer has a new book, Change Your Thoughts, Change Your LIfe. It's based on the writings of the Tao and it's really powerful.

It is within each person's power to change their thoughts. That's one thing the Law of Attraction is all about. You can choose how you think. It takes lots of practice to weed out the negative, disempowering thoughts but it can be done.

Just ask youself when you think something "Is this helping me or hurting me?" Reach for a better thought and break the old patterns.

Manjari #339538 09/08/07 09:24 AM
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Originally Posted By: Manjari
I was not talking about you. But why did you think so? Do you think that you do not deserve success?



No, i just didn't know, which is why i was asking a direct question. I'd want to know if if you were referring to me.


Deserve success? yes. Have the skills for it, can pull it off after so much? I don't know. But i'll do my best.

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Wolf
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If you believe that you deserve success and have skills, it is only a matter of time.

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Why would believe i deserve success have anything to do with achieving it?

EVERYONE deserves success. There is too much suffering in this world. But people very often do not get what they deserve. That is a harsh reality. People go hungry, and even starve to death. Do they deserve that? No. There are many people who live in war-torn countries. They do not have many opportunities even if they are skilled and work hard. I was just learning yesterday of the refugees flooding into South Africa from Zimbabwe, threatening economic collapse of S.A. as well. It is an extreme mass exodus.

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All right...

I came back because i realized that my last statement is a bad attitude to have. But i still don't know how to change it.

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[quote=hollyelise]Why would believe i deserve success have anything to do with achieving it?

EVERYONE deserves success. There is too much suffering in this world. But people very often do not get what they deserve. That is a harsh reality. People go hungry, and even starve to death. Do they deserve that? No. There are many people who live in war-torn countries. They do not have many opportunities even if they are skilled and work hard. I was just learning yesterday of the refugees flooding into South Africa from Zimbabwe, threatening economic collapse of S.A. as well. It is an extreme mass exodus.

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Manjari #340014 09/10/07 09:01 AM
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I agree, Manjari! Everyone does deserve success but not everyone believes they can have it - which makes the difference.

So what does that tell you? Change the way you see things and the things you see will change! (Wayne Dyer quote). It's up to you how you think. No one is controlling your thoughts but you.

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joanj #340022 09/10/07 09:43 AM
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I was never terribly impressed by Dyer, but i'll give him another try.

Thank you Joan, Manjari.

joanj #341262 09/15/07 02:27 PM
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Hi Joan,

I so agree with you. Our thoughts determine our actions. If we think we can, well, WE CAN. If we think we can't, guess what? We won't.

I know for me personally, taking control of my thoughts was like taking control of the direction of my life. Even now, if I let my thoughts go off track, it puts me on a collision course with disaster. I'm learning to get them back on track more quickly so I can keep moving forward into the life of passion and purpose I'm continually creating for myself.

Hey, if I can do it, anyone can. Even in terrible countries where bad things have happened, there are those who rise above circumstances and make a difference in the lives of those around them.


Tami is an Executive Leadership and Business Women's Coach. She invites women to use their genius in business in today's wild economy. http://www.UlimateBusinessCamp.com
Tami S #341371 09/16/07 03:23 AM
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Yes, those who rise above circumstances make a big difference in the lives of those around them.

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When I see the phrase "I am a failure" it reminds me of a hamster my children kept when they were young. That hamster tried every day to escape from his expensive and well-maintained habitat, and I was very happy every day he was a failure. On days that he found a weakness in the system, he escaped! And for some reason he would always find me, zip over and sit by my feet until I noticed, let him crawl into a paper towel holder I kept just for that purpose, and then put him back into his habitat. He would sip some water, have a snack, and then sleep. Then he'd be at it again. And I was happy every day he was a failure.

Having hopes, dreams, goals and plans might be more important to who you are as a person than what you measure as success. And for those who face tremendous challenges in life that block their path from what you measure as success - maybe their next breath has been the goal that they have not failed to reach. And if people around them have kept breathing, perhaps they are in the company of a crowd of highly successful companions.

We have so much potential for spiritual growth, I think we should be working toward it every day like my children's hamster worked to break out of his little hotel. As my daughter once told a younger friend, we were born perfect and are getting better every day.

Best wishes,

Pam W
SE of Seattle
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Pam, this story of hamster is cute.

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