BellaOnline Forums Relationships Married No Kids Odd things you've heard people say regarding kids

Yeah. Also, in a tone of voice that is either dripping with judgement, oozing with condescention(breeders are martyrs after all) and/or saturated with pity(we are CF and we are missing out on sooo much!).

Let's face it though, most are so jealous of our freedom, they are gangrenous! That's why my hubby has heard from 2 of his friends within the past week who have kids, to NOT have any!

It always bugs me to hear people say that children are little blessings from God. Not if I don't want one. To a CF person, who has zero desire to have a child, it would not be a blessing. To some it is a blessing, but to others it is not a blessing.

What I never get is why some people - especially in-laws - get SO excited and can freak out when they hear someone in the family is expecting? You never, ever see that kind of reaction during any other point in the child's life except when it's found out they're on the way! That just irks me.

It is the genes screaming out "part of me is going to live on! Woo hoo!" But good, logical thinking can overcome the gene's desire to scream out, with the, how was it said, "look of horror" when learning that a friend/coworker/boss is pregnant.

HERE'S ONE FOR Y'ALL:

Upon learning that I had applied to be a Big Sister with the Be A Friend Program, I got the following comments before I stopped telling people:

1. "You don't like kids! Why would you want to do that??" (Um, I don't dislike kids. I don't want any. BIG Difference!

2. "What do you know about raising kids?" (Hmm. I'm pretty sure I won't be RAISING the child. I'll be being a FRIEND. A positive influence! A few days a month!)

3. "That doesn't sound like something you would do." (Okay. So now I'm an evil cretin that isn't charitable? These are comments from people who know me, and have in the past said how caring and generous I am...)

Why does the world go nuts when it comes to not wanting kids? If I had my own kid(s) I certainly wouldn't have the time/$$ to donate to charity...

People just always assume the worst when you express your dis-interest in having kids. It immediately becomes "she/he doesn't want kids because they must not like them". That's today's "child-centered" society for you! It's a shame that people can't see the good in what you are doing, though. Why not just be happy when you hear someone is giving back to the society you're a part of??

TheBlonde:

That is ashame that you can't be comfortable sharing the fact that you are doing such a selfless act for kids.

I have been thinking about suggesting to people who have/had kids, who feel the need to question me about my CF position(particularly the IL's), that maybe they should volunteer some of their time with children not of their "loins" if they love kids SO MUCH, and really be the self-sacrificing person that they think they are just because they "spawned". I'm considering daring them to do that instead of harassing ME about being CF.

Here's an odd thing I have heard several times regarding having kids:

"Don't you just want to have one so you can see what he/she will look like?"

If I wanted to have a child for that reason, I could go to one of those machines in the mall where you pay $1 to have my husbands' and my picture meshed together.

And someone commented in another post about the suggestion:

"It's always different when it's your own."

But I'm curious....what does "different" mean exactly? They never do say "better" or "less hectic" or even "more fun"...just "different". Hmmmmm....

"You would have made a good father." The receptionist at the doctor's office where my fiance got his vasectomy said this to my fiance. Unreal. How do random strangers know whether someone would be a good parent?

I would have asked to speak with her supervisor.

I'm sure she meant no harm, but doctor's offices are places that deal with sensitive issues. I mean, a voluntary vas is one thing. But such a boundary-less person would probably have said the same thing to a woman who'd just had a hysterectomy due to cancer...who'd had no kids, and who'd wanted them.

Wowza.