Sue, look at what you HAVE BEEN DOING that has been positive. Don't forget that you are already on your way. You are packing some of your stuff. That is a BIG STEP!! You may not know what your next step will be, but at least you are moving forward. That is good. It doesn't seem like you are just jumping into something new, either. You are very calmly, collectively and quietly gathering information and weighing your options. THAT IS VEY GOOD!
With your boyfriend away for a month at a time, you have plenty of time to organize your thoughts, your belongings and plan your next step. Before you can move, you need to decide where you would LOVE to be, if you could go anywhere. (I read that you would like to be in SD) I know that right now that is a dream, because you want to stay where you are until your daughter finishes this year of college. But it is okay to DREAM! Because, while you are dreaming, you can also be making some long range plans with your finances. You actually have time to save some money while you are taking your time packing up (or de-cluttering as we all need to do).
When the time comes, you will be much happier if you have saved a little bit of money to get some extra things that you need or want AND to help you move.
So, don't sweat anything that you are doing because it looks to me like you are on a pretty good time line for yourself. You really aren't jumping into anything or OUT OF ANYTHING. I know that you love your boyfriend but you want more out of life for yourself and more committment and recognition from him. All that you are doing right now is tring to keep your senses, and maybe it WILL BE enough to make him realize that you should be number one. Hey, if he doesn't realize that, then you are ahead of the game and you will be ready to make some kind of move. The good thing is that you don't need to do anything in a hurry. You have time. Take a deep breath and do something that you enjoy. Then get back to thinking. There real is plenty of time.!!
Trish