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Joined: Apr 2007
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Koala
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Koala
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Hi glamgurl!! It's nice to see a new face around here... glad you joined us.

Sue (nadaurz), i really enjoy living with a house mate. It takes the pressure off of finances, but even without that, i just like the company! A housemate keeps me sane (and makes me a better housekeeper, LOL!) When i have a housemate, i have about $350 extra dollars a month. That makes a huge difference.

Did you see the thing i posted in the stress management section about panic attacks? It's in the "quick fixes" thread.

Do you know what it is about deciding that is making you feel afraid? It really isn't forever, you know. Most likely you'll love any place you choose, but if you don't, you're allowed to change your mind! It's not the end of the world! You'd just relocate. You can do this, Sue. smile

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Wolf
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Wolf
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It is imp. that we have confidence that we can attempt new things if what we do goes wrong.

Joined: Feb 2007
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Shark
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Shark
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So true, CD! I've been feeling fear of making the wrong choice when I should be feeling excitement of a new day. If I make a "wrong" choice, it doesn't mean I'm stuck with it, right? So...the only truly wrong choice is to not make one. It's time to start the new day! Today I am optimistic, tomorrow we'll see.

Joined: Feb 2007
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Shark
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Holly, I'm afraid of making a bad situation worse when I'm already at my limit. Silly, huh? My life would have been a breeze had it not been for me! I seem to make even the simpilist of things difficult for myself.

Joined: Jul 2007
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Shark
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Joined: Jul 2007
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How do you propose to correct that?

Joined: Feb 2007
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Shark
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That's where I am at a loss. I am afraid of my choices and that causes the panic and anxiety. Too many times, I've jumped in head first, only to remember I don't know how to swim.

Joined: Apr 2006
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Wolf
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Wolf
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That is difficult to solve Sue.
If you are not sure of anything and also worried that you will fail with every new choice you make, pl. surrender to almighty and ask for guidance. No amount of discussion will help.

Joined: Apr 2004
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Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
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Sue, look at what you HAVE BEEN DOING that has been positive. Don't forget that you are already on your way. You are packing some of your stuff. That is a BIG STEP!! You may not know what your next step will be, but at least you are moving forward. That is good. It doesn't seem like you are just jumping into something new, either. You are very calmly, collectively and quietly gathering information and weighing your options. THAT IS VEY GOOD!

With your boyfriend away for a month at a time, you have plenty of time to organize your thoughts, your belongings and plan your next step. Before you can move, you need to decide where you would LOVE to be, if you could go anywhere. (I read that you would like to be in SD) I know that right now that is a dream, because you want to stay where you are until your daughter finishes this year of college. But it is okay to DREAM! Because, while you are dreaming, you can also be making some long range plans with your finances. You actually have time to save some money while you are taking your time packing up (or de-cluttering as we all need to do). wink When the time comes, you will be much happier if you have saved a little bit of money to get some extra things that you need or want AND to help you move.

So, don't sweat anything that you are doing because it looks to me like you are on a pretty good time line for yourself. You really aren't jumping into anything or OUT OF ANYTHING. I know that you love your boyfriend but you want more out of life for yourself and more committment and recognition from him. All that you are doing right now is tring to keep your senses, and maybe it WILL BE enough to make him realize that you should be number one. Hey, if he doesn't realize that, then you are ahead of the game and you will be ready to make some kind of move. The good thing is that you don't need to do anything in a hurry. You have time. Take a deep breath and do something that you enjoy. Then get back to thinking. There real is plenty of time.!! smile

Trish


Joined: Feb 2007
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Shark
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That's a matter of perception, CD, and I respect your opinion, but I believe discussion, when done with an open mind, can always hold the potential to help. For me, a closed mind and blind faith leads to a brick wall. Discussion helps uncertainty. I wasn't looking for "THE ANSWER", just options.

Joined: Feb 2007
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Shark
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Thanks, Trish, for reminding me that nothing has to be set in stone.. I think my anxiety comes from being unsettled, but I need to remember that unsettled is better than being stuck in something worse just because I settled. You have a good heart. Thanks for sharing it with me today!

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