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Joined: Jul 2007
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Amoeba
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Just my opinion...

Wounds, whether physical, emotional or psychological, always leave a mark on us. It's something you can't erase anymore even as time goes by. But you have a choice whether to look at it as a badge of courage or something to be humiliated about. If you choose the former, then this wound can give a positive effect on your life. You learn from these wounds and rebuild yourself from this pain. What doesn't kill you will make you stronger, right?

On the other hand, if you see this wound as something hideous and humiliating, then this will have the opposite effect: you live in eternal depression. You thrive in pain. You lose yourself in the process. That's the downside.

Bottomline, scars form as time passes by, that is inevitable, but how you deal with the pain and the healing process is what really matters.

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Gecko
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What if the wounds were humiliating to begin with?

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Shark
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That doesn't mean they have to be humiliating in the end! You may not have been in control when they happened, but you can be now! You can determine the end result!

Last edited by nadaurz; 07/24/07 06:07 PM.
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Shark
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I am sorry AF, I did not mean to imply that scars do not remain. I was trying to say that we can learn to accept what has been, and that if we see these things as challenges to overcome, and become stronger, we can move on in our lives.

I have experienced things which left me with legacies which will be with me all my life. I just didn't want to speak of these because I did not want anyone to feel discouraged. Also, had I received help early in my life, the outcome may have been very different.

We are discussing the present, - how things are now, and not 60 years ago! It is a very different situation nowdays, and there is hope for those who have suffered serious trauma.

I hope I have corrected any misconceptions I may have created by that post.

Kerryanne.


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Koala
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Originally Posted By: Manjari
What if the wounds were humiliating to begin with?


One thing i thank my mother for, is that she showed me how she respected all human beings, no matter what their condition... if they were poor, ignorant, ill, alcoholic, old, dirty, infirmed, silly, ...anything. She would give them as much respect as anyone else. I have tears in my eyes thinking of it. She knew how to see the real value of human beings... in all human beings... that we are all worthy of respect no matter what our state. I hope some day i am that good to people.

Humilation is a hard emotion...

but usually when we find ourselves in such conditions, it isn't something we chose to happen, is it?

Your circumstances or past circumstances do not reflect your value or dignity as a person, or the respect to which you are entitled.

I just looked up the words humiliation, humility and humble in my dictionary and it is very interesting... i will highlight the part i found most interesting:

humiliate - to hurt the pride or dignity of by causing to be or seem foolish or contemptible; mortify. SYN. see degrade.

humility - the state or quality of being humble; absence of pride or self-assertion.

humble: in a favorable sense, suggests an unassuming character in which there is an absence of pride and assertiveness (a humble genius) and, unfavorably, connotes an almost abject lack of self-respect.

...so what i am seeing in this is when we feel humilated, in spite of not being given due respect by others and perhaps more because of it, we should seek to give respect to ourselves and feel respect for ourselves and our inherent dignity that is beyond our circumstances.

Easier said than done, i know.


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Gecko
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Right Holly. I was humiliated some times and memories surge in . But I quickly assess my worth again and try to forget it.

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Koala
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Manjari, have you ever read Victor Frankyl's, Man's Search for Meaning...? He was quite a remarkable man. He was a survivor of the Auschwitz camp... and a very thoughtful psychologist. He studied what it was that made a difference between those who survived the horrors of the camp, and the many who didn't, and observed that though the inmates did not have liberty... some were more free than the camp guards. He has many profound insights in the book, and it is often listed as one of the top 100 most significant books ever written. I thought of this book particularly, because Auschwitz was certainly an intensely humiliating experience for the prisoners, and yet Frankyl speaks in the book of the great dignity of some of the prisoners. It is a very moving and insightful book.

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Shark
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Personally I don't think its a negative quote, I don't take it that way, even though I agree with it.
I don't see myself as a victim, and I am happy but I take the quote in the sense that its the scars of life that give us character and motivation to do better.

I look at it in the sense that the scars can be seen as a reminder. Notice I said reminder not focus on your scars and wound & use that as an excuse as to why you can't do better & why you can't move forward but to use them as a way of pushing yourself to do well.

That's the sense I've taken it in. It's all about perspective and the way each individual perceives the quote. Hopefully in a postive way!



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Originally Posted By: Anastasia-Beauty B's
Personally I don't think its a negative quote, I don't take it that way, even though I agree with it.
I don't see myself as a victim, and I am happy but I take the quote in the sense that its the scars of life that give us character and motivation to do better.

I look at it in the sense that the scars can be seen as a reminder. Notice I said reminder not focus on your scars and wound & use that as an excuse as to why you can't do better & why you can't move forward but to use them as a way of pushing yourself to do well.

That's the sense I've taken it in. It's all about perspective and the way each individual perceives the quote. Hopefully in a postive way!


True. It will also depend upon the kind of scars we have.

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I think its a great quote myself, Take the death of my son in 1985, i will aways have the pain of losing him but over the years i handle it differently


Rosie L
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