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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 50
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Amoeba
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Amoeba
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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 50
Hi Duane and welcome!!
I was reading the post for awhile before deciding to join. It's been fun!
My husband and I can totally relate to you guys about not wanting to be the center of attention, especially at a wedding. I sometimes think people forget that it's about the marriage and not so much about the ceremony, or the big party at the reception.
I too work for a school district(teacher) and I only get pressure now from a few die hard co-workers who think they can change my mind. Whatever!
I love your license plate! I'm glad that people give you the thumbs up-we totally would! And those who have quizzical looks on their faces, it's probably because they didn't realize that there is a choice to have children, it doesn't have to be an automatic one like so many make it. Ick.
It sounds like you two are very happy and welcome aboard! Jenny

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Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 923
Parakeet
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Parakeet
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 923
Amazingly enough, one of my best friends is a woman what I've known online for 12+ years as well. In a nutshell, she is a Christian, a member of two churches, attends 3, and truly lives the Christian lifestyle and belief. Needless to say, a totally opposite lifestyle than Linda and myself. However, she and I get along quite well as friends.

Linda and I attended her wedding, only a few months after she and I got married. It was a large affair, 300+ people attending, in which, needless to say, she/they were the center of attention. I found myself feeling out of place, just because there were so many people there, as well as with the realization that being fawned over that much, that could have been me if I had been with a woman who wanted such a big wedding! Ack! Luckily, I didn't have any such worries. Yay!

It really was not extravagant, in the long run -- they only spent about $2,000 on the whole thing. In any case, we visit them on our trips up to Michigan two or three times a year -- its' been fun smile

The reactions to the license plate are nice. I'm not an outgoing person -- I'm known as a fairly boring person. We don't have any bumper stickers, magnets, etc on our van. The only thing that we do 'publically' state/comment on that way is with the Zero kids plate. smile We call what we do the "Zero Kids" lifestyle.

Still happy, and happier by the day... smile


Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 862
Parakeet
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Parakeet
Joined: Mar 2006
Posts: 862
Speaking of license plates/bumper stickers...I have a sticker I'm saving for when we find a "beater" fuel-efficient dog car to transport our dogs to all their outings in...it says "The Perfect Child is an Australian Cattle Dog"! (We have two, plus a Sheltie.) I bought it from Cafe Press and I think it's cute. It's for the dog car though, not our nice everyday cars. :-)

Cindy

Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 923
Parakeet
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Parakeet
Joined: Jul 2007
Posts: 923
The REAL reason why I got the license plate is that at my place of work, and on the local roads, I see various versions of the following license plates:

TWINS&2
MY3KDS
3HIJOS
SOCRMOM

and other "Kid promotion" license plate combinations. I've NEVER seen a license plate combination that promoted child-free living. Note: this was before I read this forum and learned about "Child-free" being the polite name for our lifestyle. We decided to see what plate combinations were available. Many variants of (zero, no, 0) (kids, kds, chld, chldrn), etc were taken. However, ZRO KIDS was available. Well worth the extra personalized plate fee smile




Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 614
Gecko
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Gecko
Joined: Feb 2006
Posts: 614
My wedding was very simple and most of it was put together by friends of the family. The dress was $130 off the rack at Jessica McClintock...just a plain white sleeveless number. We booked the ceremony at my Grandma's church, not because we wanted a religious ceremony, but because the town where she lives was the best place to get the family together. And the church was free. I just had to pay the pianist and the sound guy.

My dad pulled some strings and got us free use of the FOP Lodge, since he has friends on the police department. It was a dump, but my dad and his wife spent the entire day before the wedding cleaning and decorating. It ended up not being too bad. And the tables were long, so there was no assigned seating. Everyone just came and mixed and mingled.

My dad has a friend who used to work as a restaurant chef. She did my catering for free and just picked up bulk appetizers at Sam's Club and Gordon Food Service. We just did an appetizer buffet to save money. My dad was the DJ. He just burned a bunch of music onto CD's and played them. My stepmom knew a woman who baked cakes, and one who did floral arranging. So they took care of these things. We just paid $50 for a tiny 3-tier cake that was just for me and my husband, and had sheet cakes and cupcakes for everyone else.

We had about 30 people total at our wedding. And it was nothing remotely fancy. My husband wore his dress blues, but not a tux. The best man wore a suit. I just told my one bridesmaid to pick out any dress she wanted in black.

Our wedding was just about being together with close family and friends. It was like a fancier version of our family reunion, plus a few additional people. And everyone said how much fun it was, because it wasn't about showing off. It was just about being together and having fun. Four years later, people still talk about how much fun they had at our wedding.

I think we spent maybe $2000 on it total, if that.

Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 31
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Newbie
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Newbie
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Joined: Jun 2007
Posts: 31
Originally Posted By: lngilbert
Tiaali - I didn't live with my husband before we got married, either.


Wow! I didn't mean to generalize Ingilbert but, honestly, I think you are the first person that I meet in America that did not live with her boyfriend before marriage. Well, maybe not the first one, but the others are extremely religious, which doesn't sound like you. If you don't mind my asking, why didn't you? A lot of people I meet seem shocked every time they learn that I didn't live with my husband prior to marriage and, yet, we have been happily married for 15 years. I honestly don't know how to answer. I just knew I wanted to be with him, and I knew he was pretty serious in his commitment to make our marriage work, as was I, of course. To this day, our commitment remains strong, despite problems, disagreements, etc.. We have problems, like everybody else, but we are always willing to work through them.

Sorry, I didn't mean to hijack the thread, or change the subject.

Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,002
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Koala
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Koala
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Joined: Feb 2007
Posts: 2,002
Tiaali - I wasn't offended or anything. We were SUPPOSED to live together but then his parents freaked out so he backed out the day before we were supposed to take the apartment (yes, he told them the day before.) Then he ended up living with his best friend (my ex-boyfriend) near Wrigley Field in Chicago, so it took me about an hour to drive there if I wanted to see him. But actually, we didn't talk for about 2 months.

The reason we were going to move in together was because my mom got married and moved out, so it was just me in this house. She wanted to sell it, so she said "why don't you and Matt get an apartment together?"

After Matt backed out, my mom let me stay in the house. It was paid off, so I just paid her utilities.

However, it worked out in the end because if we had moved, my mom would have sold the house and we would have been unable to buy it from her nice and cheap (our village is very expensive.)

All the people I know who lived together first did it because they knew they were getting married eventually and it was economical. However, two of the couples that we hang out with didn't live together, either, for personal reasons.

Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 144
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Jellyfish
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Jellyfish
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Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 144
Tiaali, I didn't live with my husband before we got married. We each owned our own house, and we decided to wait until after the wedding to sell one of the houses. I am a very practical person. What if, for whatever reason, we don't go through with the wedding? If I've sold my house, now I have to find a new place to live. So after the wedding we sold my house and I moved into his. Our plan now is to buy land and build "our" house. We've been married two years and life has a way of getting in the way of plans, but that's still what we'd like to do!

Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 297
Shark
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Shark
Joined: Jan 2007
Posts: 297
Actually, I've known several people who didn't live together first- for various reasons. We did, and it was the right decision for us, but it isn't necessarily for everyone.


"I may not agree with what's on your bumper sticker, but I will fight to the end for your right to stick it." --Unknown
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,344
Chipmunk
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Chipmunk
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,344
I know a lot of people that didn't live together before they got married. I didn't think I would live with someone before getting married, but my fiance and I compromised. The idea of moving out of my apartment and moving into his home made me nervous because what if things didn't work out? I would be the one moving again, and without any rights. Because he knew I was concerned about this, we got engaged a lot sooner. He balked at the idea of getting married before living together until he realized it wasn't about some ancient religious tradition, but, as someone else said, being practical, and taking care of myself and my interests. So we will be living together about 7 months before we get married in October.

Last edited by happytobechildfree; 07/16/07 10:25 AM.

Save your own life - don't have kids!
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