BellaOnline Forums Religion and Spirituality Dreams Need help to understand this dream

Ever since I was a child I have had dreams about NOT being able to find a toilet. (I know, it sounds funny!)

Lately I've been having these dreams repeatedly, often more than once a week and they are driving me nuts!

This is a brief outline of the dreams.

I need to find a toilet.
There are none around, or they are locked; or too high to reach, or they are in public view with people around. These toilets don't have doors.

The one I had last night was on a ship in port. The only toilets were in the cabins and they were not private. (no doors) There was a stranger in my cabin, unpacking, and I couldn't use the toilet while they were there.

I searched the ship for a public toilet, but there were none. So I went ashore and found a rest room, but the only toilet (there were shower rooms, but only one toilet) had the lid secured with a padlock.

I saw a nearby house with a Chinese couple in the garden, so I asked them if I could use their toilet. I woke up before I heard their answer.

(And in case you are wondering - no, I didn't find on waking that I wanted to go. I just went back to sleep.)

Why do I keep getting this particular dream? It seems that I don't only 'not find' toilets, but when I do, the use of them is denied me, either by them being in public view, or being locked, or unavailable for some other reason!

What is all this about? And why am I still getting these dreams which began over 30 years ago in my childhood?

Can someone please help? There has to be some underlying reason for this dream.

AF.

Hi AF,
I found your dream really intriguing so I did a little searching through a variety of dream dictionaries. Maybe one of these definitions ring true with your feeling of your dream(s):
since you are being prevented from using the toilet it would seem that you are feeling that you can't express something very private and personal, or that you can't get rid of something you should let go of (shame is often part of peeing dreams). Another interesting suggestion is that this is connected to your inner creativity (productivity?) that you are being prevented from releasing. I like puns, so if it were my dream I would lean toward the idea of not being able to "go" or "let go".
Since you have had these dreams from childhood, it would seem that the repression angle might fit. Did you have an encouraging kind of upbringing? Do you feel that you could always talk to your parents or was it the kind of household where everyone was very private? What is going on in your life right now where you feel the need to say what's on your mind, or feel locked out of somewhere very important to the central "you"?
One idea, how about next time you have this kind of dream you equip yourself with whatever it is that would allow you to use the toilet? eg. boltcutters for locks, a ladder for tall toilets,etc. The alternative would be to just matter of factly pee where you are- if shame is an issue in all of this, that would be pretty powerful in setting you free of it! Good luck!

Hi Trishh,
Golly, your words certainly set bells ringing for me! Brilliant!

Yes, the childhood I experienced was not one where I could be open and discuss things. Most of my life was lived in a secret world. Lots of fear there. In many ways my mother was just a child herself, and could not relate to me very well. She had lots of her own problems.

And yes also to the points you put forward about not being able to express what is private and personal, and about having something I want to let go of and can't seem to. I also suffer a lot with chronic depression.

The 'not being able to go', and 'not being able to let go' are big ones for me right now. You really have hit the nail squarely on the head, and I must admit I had not thought of that as being the reason behind the dreams.

The question now, is, how to 'let go' and how to feel free to express myself on personal issues. Trust enters into this a lot. I have often trusted, and been severely burnt for it. I have a pretty 'thin skin' I'm afraid and I'm ultra sensitive to destructive criticism. So I tend to just 'shut up' rather than face a confrontation because I've gotten so trashed in the past. Yep. I let people walk all over me!

I think too that I am a bit of a puzzle to myself. Who I really am. (not who people tell me I am!)

Thanks so much for your insight. You have given me a lot to think about.

AF

Well AF, you've started well with being pretty open here with a whole pack of people you don't know! Good go!
Maybe a good place to begin letting go is even just in your imagination. Imagine yourself responding in a way you feel rather than "think". Sometimes we try to keep even that part of us locked down. Each of us has an inner kid who is convinced that our people wouldn't love us if they really knew who we were so I'm sure we all empathize. But the real you is desperately trying to get your attention through your dreams so you may be ready to start stepping out there.
See if you can't find someone professional to talk to about this too. They will have an unconditional relationship with you and will encourage you to explore the secret you and the public "you" whose behaviour is geared to surviving rather than thriving. Good luck! Keep us posted. T

Thanks Trishh.

I do see a therapist, but haven't talked about the dreams because I find them sort of embarrassing! It's easier on a forum where no one knows you personally.

I have taken some positive steps and have gotten around to posting on the 'Self Development' forum here, and I've found it helpful.

You are all such wonderfully caring people.

With deep gratitude,

AF.

Good for you! Glad also that you have someone to talk to. Go ahead and tell him/her about your dreams. It may give your therapist some insight as it has you and us together here. Now that you know we think your dreams make entirely good sense and there's nothing shameful in them, it may be safer to tell your therapist face to face. S/he will be impressed with your take on them. Good work AF! T